Comments | diglett: Football For Drama Queens

diglett

Football For Drama Queens

Jun 15, 2006 11:03

I used to hate football. Ball goes up the pitch, I thought, ball goes down the pitch. Sweaty men kick ball. Supporters punch in each in face. Big deal. Why do people get so excited? Then I started doing the first aid at Leyton Orient, and I realised I was seeing it all the wrong way. Forget all this stuff with the ball. The ball is a red ( Read more... )

footy

Comments 34

steer June 15 2006, 10:13:04 UTC

"Three Lions on a Shirt"

This song is greatly improved if you imagine the lyrics are actually "Sealions in a yurt".

We used to play football to something similar to the rules you described in primary school. We used to have to play year 5 versus year 4 footy (I think this was 12 versus 11 year olds. Now, this was unfair so the headmaster played for the 11 year olds to "even things up" but the egotistical old bugger was a lot bigger and would never allow his team to lose. Great if you're 11 beating the bigger boys. Bit humiliating if you're 12. Hence we developed stealth rules where we "secretly won" if we tripped over or injured more than a certain number of the opposition.

altered_state June 15 2006, 11:05:02 UTC

and it's also improved if you imagine that it goes, "40 years of hurt, you'll never stop us whinging"

sparklielizard June 15 2006, 10:27:52 UTC

See, that's how I always saw it as well. I'm keen to distance myself from the rioters at Canary Wharf, but I'm more than happy to watch a match, and especially ones with Lots Riding on the Outcome. Hence I don't really give a stuff about Premiership matches, but I'll happily watch the agony of England going out yet again on penalties to Brazil or whoever after they should have won if the "referee hadn't been a wanker" and so on..

diglett June 15 2006, 10:32:56 UTC

Well, I finally get what all the fuss is about now. And speaking of wanker referees, that referee on Saturday really was a wanker!

sparklielizard June 15 2006, 10:45:48 UTC

It is jolly good drama! It's not so great if you're watching it with a roomful of yobs, but if it's with a bunch of friends, or good-mannered fans (which is usually is in the right places) it's all good fun!

Didn't see the match on Saturday as I was wandering around the empty streets :-)

diglett June 15 2006, 10:53:09 UTC

Streets didn't stay empty for long, alas! The gym was almost empty on Tuesday (?) when it was France vs Brazil, so I bet I'd have it to myself this afternoon. Shame I'll be watching the match soon. It's not the sort of thing you can record and watch later, either.

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armoury_kim June 15 2006, 10:39:01 UTC

Not sure if this will convince me to watch the game, (I just don't like watching football), but I liked your explanation. Infact, far more than I like the game.

At the moment I am being subject to the game pretty much from getting home until 1opm on a nightly basis :\

diglett June 15 2006, 10:42:21 UTC

Try seeing it the Drama Queen way and it might become more enjoyable. Matches between crap teams are also actually more fun than world cup ones because crap teams fall over more and thus more goals are scored. Also it helps if you make sure you are supporting one team when you watch. If England aren't playing, choose the team with the nicest shirts.

armoury_kim June 15 2006, 11:02:56 UTC

If England aren't playing, choose the team with the nicest shirts.
:D LOL

kirstenlj June 15 2006, 11:10:50 UTC

I don't really enjoy it on TV, but I have been to a match and found that really exciting and fun.

annayork June 15 2006, 12:31:23 UTC

LMAO! It's still less barbaric than American "football"... in that game, the whole object is to mow down the fellow who has the ball.... and the team that does that the most to the opposing team usually wins. They have to get it to their end of the field before being knocked down four times. After the fourth time, the other team gets to try. Such a stupid game and I can't even watch it live, which is sad because I could watch ANY sport live and enjoy it.

I still have NO idea why it's called "football" when they rarely use their *feet* on the *ball*. In fact, football is so wonderful here, and their players are such GODS that they get to go to the best colleges for free irregardless of how stupid they are. *Grumbles*

bleepyfruhstuck June 15 2006, 13:51:33 UTC

...or "touchdown" when in fact they don't have to.
Similar in fact to the popular (ie: they do it a lot) "friendly fire" I guess.

annayork June 15 2006, 21:55:40 UTC

I still can't figure out why they call it "football" much less why they call their score a "touch down", yet on the rare occasion a ball is kicked into the goalpost thingies, THAT is called a field goal. It's like "Let's do things as assbackward as we can" I suppose?? :-P

diglett June 15 2006, 15:52:52 UTC

I thought the object of American football was to have the biggest shoulder pads!

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