Tonight was too much yet oddly it was not quite enough. I do not know what I am saying. I am a fucking mess most of the time.

Wow I do not know the words to express what I am feeling. I know it is a similar feeling to a lot of people around the country. As a person who put his faith in a political system which he had problems believing in this feels tremendous. I do not care who you voted for or whom you wanted to win. I know that the man I wanted to win, won and it ( Read more... )

I am the biggest liar I know. Ask me how I am doing and I will probably tell you that I am doing well but I am not doing well. I am never really doing that well. I distract myself with various things so that my mind does not have time to explore those corners where I hide truths and realities. Do I want to be okay? I am not sure. I know what will ( Read more... )

I am a writer.
   I am not a writer for any other reason that I am a writer.
      I have to write to live.
    That is why I do put down my thoughts on paper, in type or whatever form they take. If I am not writing then I am not living. I breathe through pen and paper. I breathe in life and exhale my thoughts and opinions in the altered form they ( Read more... )

Man I love these nights when I feel like I come alive. These nights where I do not stifle my own personality and I just am. It is these nights that I feel like the brightest star in the sky. It is funny because some people cannot handle me when I am happy or when I am just letting go and not holding back. They ask me to hide it away to dull my ( Read more... )

When I think of myself in the future I think of a great writer. I think of someone whose thoughts and opinions reach other people and help them along their personal journeys in life. When I think of myself in the present I think of a helpless child who is lost and does not know which way to go. I stand here a child of 25 years old. This an age when ( Read more... )

Feelings about one thing bleed into everything. Across the board my life is affected. There was point where I thought that anger and disappointment were the things that fueled my creative drive. I was was wrong. I find myself very upset and very walled off. Do I shut down as a result of being upset? I think so. Is it healthy to answer your own ( Read more... )

Wow so last night was a lot of fun. Good people and good times and just crazy.

These days are so long and my energy is so little. I am struggling most of the time just to remain a state of normalcy. I need something new or fresh. I need a shake up. Are we all just waiting for something to shake out of these ruts we put ourselves in. I am constantly making promises to live for myself but I am constantly living for other ( Read more... )

Tonight was the one year anniversary of when I got stabbed. This time last year I was laying in the hospital recovering and my feelings about it are kind of weird. It feels like so long ago while simultaneously it feels like yesterday. It is something that I think about all the time everyday. I joke about it a lot but honestly it was really ( Read more... )