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Good Grief
It's 5 months now since Vini passed away and while life eventually forces us to a semblance of normalcy, it has truly been like a part of me died as well. I might laugh and joke, but deep inside it is a big blah. The past several visits to Chennai is also an indicator, earlier there would be unexpected tears, now its a shrug, before embarking on ( Read more... ) -
The making of a hypochondriac
How did I become like this? I know as a family my mom's side has been more half empty than full and that defeatist attitude really did cost a lot of opportunities for the family as a whole, esp for my thata, ammama and vini; mom by virture of her early marriage and perhaps the influence of appa's family's slightly more go getting attitude fared a ( Read more... ) -
Anniversary of Aches
What a strange anniversary to celebrate, but it's like I inhabite a completely different body now, since July 2020. About 4 months in the lockdown, the year had began on a bum note, with a gout discovery and while that was so out of the blue, it was a strange case of "was it gout or not", in the end I managed to diet my way out of the pain, when ( Read more... ) -
Why do we collect...
Just spent the last few days in Chennai to start on the inevitable task of looking into Vini's bank and other paperwork. I remember, how I would argue with my aunt, sending a zillion signed bank forms and KYC details and now when I see my name against the numerous FDs as nominee, it is heartbreaking. These are scenarios, which were not meant to be ( Read more... ) -
Process
And all I feel is anger, what I overwhelmingly feel is regret. It is like I've failed her personally, didnt try enough to move mountains that I should have and like we gave up so easily. So many whys and hows and everything that was preventable was missed ( Read more... ) -
50
Days back, when talking to Bubu about my 50th bday; We were discussing the possibility of a morning walk and maybe even a quick breakie or something to bring the day in. Plans of an intimate dinner with him and close friends or maybe even an staycation were conviniently shot down, with the lockdown orders ( Read more... )
