(Untitled)

[disengaged27]

It is 2:35 AM in the morning and everyone is still out smoking cannabis, getting drunk, or rubbing up against one another. Hey, whatever helps you blot out the awkwardness of socializing and uh, living. I'm beginning to change my perspective on smoking cigs/cannabis and getting riotously drunk. Why is our idea of recreation intoxicating ourselves

Comments

It Must Be Innate...

[auntjanice]

I think the inherent personality characteristic of melancholia is my own particular "stripe" and I certainly concur that it is mysterious how one can get all one's "ducks in a row" and still feel that way, but it's OK anyway. Despite society's demands on one to be "upbeat" all the time, to thine own self be true, I say!

This above all:
To thine own self be true,
for it must follow as dost the night the day,
that canst not then be false to any man.

--Hamlet, the Bard, derived from Socrates "Know Thyself"

And it is certainly the case, as I've seen for decades anyway, that "the crooked line does lead straight" somehow as one can find meaning in the corruption and illogical-seeming morass of "stuff" hurling itself at one from "life" and its vicissitudes! And conversely, the meaning seeks the "life" that makes itself confirmed or denied!

Re: It Must Be Innate...

[disengaged27]

Wow, you do not even know how much that post meant to me. I'm inuring myself to being the introspective oddball. I think being a writer says something about a person. I never fully partake in all that is around me, because I like to step back and observe-- I feel out of place. I like to convey these people and settings and such, but being them, or being there I feel strange. And that has been an issue I've been grappling with ever since I came to college a week ago. There are all of these animate, excited people running about and as excited as I am to start this chapter in my life, I am not one of those people. I am not my cheerleader roomate who has already befriended the entire dorm hall and has formed an exlusive clique that eyes me strangely (I, the one with the black eyeliner and the keyboard, always writing pattering away at my keyboard). I have met many people here, and most of them have embraced my presence and shown interest. But I find it exhausting trying to accumulate a tight-knit group, yet, I feel out of place without

Solitude vs. Solidarity

[auntjanice]

from Wikipedia:
QUOTE
Short-term solitude is often valued as a time when one may work, think or rest without being disturbed.

Long-term solitude is often seen as undesirable, causing loneliness or reclusion, resulting from inability to establish relationships. However, for some people solitude is not depressing. Still others (e.g. monks) regard long-term solitude as a means of spiritual enlightenment.
END QUOTE

I say remain "open and available" (though of course not against your true values and beliefs just to fit into a "crowd") rather than alienating or alienated, and the resulting (eventual) solidarity with like minds will prove fruitful and energizing. This takes more than the first week I reckon, but you never know who might notice you now and pop up later...be yourself and go with your instincts!