Comments | disengaged27: (без темы)

disengaged27

(Untitled)

Nov 11, 2006 18:25

So, I met this guy on the internet, myspace to be precise (a great beginning to any story)... we've recently ventured into facebook. His name is Foad Askari, as in fwad, not fode... I know... He apparently graduated two years before me at RHHS. He goes to College Park and he's tres seexxxxxyy.
Anyway, he keeps on trying to get me to go out with him ( Read more... )

Comments 7

xuande17 November 12 2006, 00:28:58 UTC

I say go for it... if it works out, then you get an awesome friend (or something more ;D) out of it, and if it becomes awkward, then some guy who you never met stops bugging you. Win win.

disengaged27 November 12 2006, 04:59:52 UTC

true that sam. i'll think about it. you bring up a good point. but somehow, i'll feel rejected if he doesn't like me when we meet. like after all that pestering, he'd feel like it wasn't worth it.

grlwaprlerg November 12 2006, 01:06:01 UTC

hey, seems like a fair shot to me. and as for a relationship, who say's it has to be steady so soon? How have you been by the way?

disengaged27 November 12 2006, 04:58:41 UTC

yeah i hear you... i don't know what im going to do.
i've been really well (Aside from roomate/dorm issues which will soon be over since I'm SWITCHING ROOMS next semester, woot woot). School's been lovely. How are you doing? I miss you so much! I miss complaining about litmag to you. HAHA

Well... auntjanice November 12 2006, 04:18:15 UTC

Doesn't seem to be your true type, from what I'm seeing out there in the public domain so to speak...

I teach "Boundaries" (also "Shame" and "Relapse Prevention" and "Dealing with Anxiety/Panic") didactic sessions at the Recovery Center these days, and this gentleman might need to learn about some of those things in the here-and-now before all that fabulous drinking lands him in one of our type of centers eventually.

Sounds like to me you have grave doubts about meeting this person "in the flesh" and we teach in our sessions that one way to tell if one's boundaries are in danger, one can feel it physically as stress or unease somewhere.

Re: Well... disengaged27 November 12 2006, 04:56:47 UTC

auntjanice!!!!
Hurrah, you've come to save the day. Your advice is always so full of wisdom. But yeah, I feel so uncomfortable with the situation. Maybe this is just NOT meant to be. He strikes me as this partying, frat-type. Meanwhile, I hang out in bookstores and talk about Nietzche. He's only attracted to me physically. Whenever I try to have a real conversation with him, he shrugs it off... I don't know. Good lord. How do I wind up in these situations? He just won't take no for an answer, though.

That Famous Incredibly Hard 2-Letter Word auntjanice November 12 2006, 12:22:02 UTC

I speak from experience to agree that saying "no" to somebody is a difficult thing to do (for me). In self-exploration I have discovered that the "shame" didactic session is helpful in explaining some of that stuff. In my case, I had a family of origin situation of not getting enough validation and attention for ME (as a worthy human being, etc.) and had sought it from others perpetually thereafter (and tended at times to "settle" for less than I deserved in the process).

Anyhow, in this situation (yours) if he indeed "won't take no for an answer" then 911 should be called should he appear (as a stalker) if you truly do not want to deal with him in person. This sounds rather scary to me and I hope you can keep him at a safe distance. The encouragement he senses may keep him persistently approaching and it may also be an ego thing now, in that he feels he needs to dominate the occasion.

Take good care of yourself, you're worth it...

JW Out