she's worried and angry about her carpel tunnel ( Read more... )

i miss you.  your my family, but your such a stranger to me.

this is a new beginning.  im 18, this is a fresh start, a new year.

im keeping this smile on my face, and hope in my heart.
ive convinced myself this year is going to be amazing.

---------------------------------------------------
but doubt never fails to come far behind. 
so im a little scared, my nerves are getting  to me.
im fragile.  i should have a ( Read more... )

The neighbors said she moved away, funny how it rained all day. I didn't think much of it then, but it's starting to all make sense. Oh, I can see now that all of these clouds are following me in my desperate endeavor to find my whoever, wherever he may be. I'm not coming back, forgive me. I've done something so terrible, I'm terrified to speak. I' ( Read more... )

[i broke up with her
i really believe it was the best decision.
really.
it would have been so easy to let her take me with her.
that waking dreamland we escape to every now and then,
to be for her what she needs me to be.

a
and
...i do care,
so much, that i won't do that with her.
pretend.
so she rips herself to shreds,
to prove that i am worth loving.
tears ( Read more... )

yesterday we had our millionth fight in a matter of days.  
i choose to walk away,
forget about every promise,
because of everything im scared of.
i told her,  "i guess im just no good at relationships."
and hung up.
she called back and yelled,
she cried,
and asked "Why won't you let yourself be happy?"

It's like ive finally finished this masterpiece ( Read more... )

over the weekend I watched kids i didn;t know graduate from towson.
[amy. maya. elizabeth.]

i couldn't pull myself to go to herefords graduation...
i felt like it didn't matter that i'd spent 2 and half of my highschool years there,
but im so disconnected from everyone there, whats the point?

i went to the house afterwards and stared at families and ( Read more... )

1)  if I look at things.  write them out on paper.  list them.  i have so many ways i could go.  so many things i could do.
putting into consideration.  whats realistic,  what's managable,  what's easier,  what's the outcome, and will this make me happy.

its all this weight thats just been put on my shoulders.  and i don't know where to go or what to ( Read more... )

My heart is anywhere but here,
and how tired I was from the past couple of weeks,
From the past couple of years.
Well, it hit me all at once,
On a balcony overlooking nothing,
With snow falling all around,

i keep trying to explain
but no one ever really understands
and some people i just dont even bother trying

docter after doctor
i sit in their office and ( Read more... )

im making her a mix-cd.
im making her a mix.
im writing her a note.
im writing her.

tonight i have my drug rehab group.
first time tonight.

i go back to work at 2.
but i'd much rather sit inside this office window
where i ate my lunch and watch the traffic go by.

tell me something...