and so it is... im still alone and waiting ( Read more... )

his words:
Some day, maybe she'll come back to me
And I'll say, "why don't you go fuck yourself!?"
But everybody's talkin', they know that I'm lyin'
She gave me everything...all I want is more...

you have no idea how much i want that to be me. i want him to want me

it seems like everytime im happy, i suddenly become horribly disappointed. and im a very unhappy person. i write about this stuff all the time. like i feel like things are going good. but then in the next entry, im deeply hurt. i hate this so much. i just wantt to have the oppurtunity to make something permanantly happy in my life. something i can ( Read more... )

i cryed. i admit...i didnt think i was ever gonna feel this way again. i dont know why i build my hopes so high. because when i do, they always come crashing to the ground. for the first time in my life, i heard the words "lets just be friends". and for anyone who has heard it before, i now understand how much it hurts. i really hoped it wasnt ( Read more... )

so i asked him how he felt. that whole connection that i thought was between us, its forever lost. he doesnt want it. last year about this time, i was feeling this way for him. except last year i wasnt crying because he wanted me to.

ive met someone. i met some good. for once. i just wish i could tell this person how i feel. they dont hurt me. i like it. i really like him.

its never occured to me that i could feel this way. i used to think i that i would have never found anything better than before. but i have. and i intend to hold on to this as long as i can.

im hoping for new trends in my life
things have been looking slightly more positive lately
im able to smile more
i have been able to appreciate some people more than i used to
i like it
i like being surrounded by people i love
its a new thing for me
hopefully a new life

im fucking dead inside. as of four hours ago, i completely shut down. there is barely any emotion running through me. i cant handle life anymore. i just wanna let it go. i cant get over the fact of how stupid i was too think i could succeed in something so impossible.by next year, no one will probably see alot of me. im thinking about quitting ( Read more... )

i need some psketti. so im gonna hve some. and i need a hug to go along with it. i wish i could get that to.

im overwhelmed. lately nothing has been goin my way. people at home dont appreciate me, i cant be with the one who i truely want to be with. and i might be doing bad in one of my classes. the only thing going for me right now is my bestest friend ever, sarah. and guard, but even that sux cuz i cant even run without feeling like i wanna die. i just ( Read more... )