sorry about that

[ditz]

sorry joe cam over unexpectantly and i couldnt let him read what i was writing. that the shittiest part of it all, marc and i decided to try and work things out. we didnt break up and i forgave him but im still hurt you know? and i cant tell anyone, i mean i can i just dont want to. im embarassed and ashamed and everyone will just get mad. like

Comments

i am shit

[anonymous]

so yeah here i am checkin my mail and i found this little live journal of yours...i fuckin hate myself even more now.here you are pouring your heart out to the internet about the pain i caused you...and what can i say or do to make it alright...nothing i can say or do will change how horrible a person i really am. i can never repay you for your undying love and sympathy for me...a pile of shit, a product of my own undoing...i try to hide from you how bad i really am. i try to suppress my darkest evils from you. ive tried so long to protect you from who i have become inside my head...but now i have failed and now that light you thought you saw inside me is gone too. its all i can do to try and make you smile now...try to make you not see the darkness, but how can i hide it.. its on my face, its in your eyes...i fuckin hate myself for all ive done to hurt you....and all i would have done if you never found out...i am weak-willed and ruled by the monster growing inside me...youve been my light for so long...now the light i loved for so

Re: i am shit

[ditz]

marc your not shit. you werent suposed to find that. i was just upset, i needed to vent. dont say those things that your bad and stuff, your not. i dont care what u say, i love u and i always will and you deserve all my love, you are a good person. why do u think so badly of your self.im sorry u found this stupid journal too. it wasnt ment for u to see. like i said what happened in costa mesa stays in costa mesa. we shouldnt even be talking about this at all anymore,marc i just want to move on from this forget about it. i love u you love me thats all that fucking matters. yes you hurt me, but it was just a stupid mistake and i forgive you already! cant we just get over this please. things are so good now, i dont want us to be sad about this anymore. i love u, nothing you could ever do could ever make me stop loving you. i dont know how else to explain it other then i love u.please dont be sad marc and please dont beat yourself up. i forgive u, now please forgive yourself so we can be happy, everytime i think of you or hear your name