Destroy ( Read more... )

When I smoke I think that no one feels like me. I have more feeling, I make more sense. Then my mind skips and I must reconsider. They know what I’m talking about but I can’t remember. Everything pulses, perhaps with my heart. But if this is my heart, it doesn’t beat very fast. In fact this slow I would be dead. Never-the-less, it still ( Read more... )

Confusion errupts in my soul. There are two worlds torn apart within me, exploding in confrontation in my mind. Seperation, loneliness, depression, evaporation ( Read more... )

I don't know where to begin. I feel so alone, more alone than I've ever felt. All I want is to cuddle up in his arms and let him take all the pain away. But he's never really ever done that ( Read more... )

I feel so lost and confused. I'm constantly being dissapointed and let down. My whole world has changed, I've changed, and I don't even know who I am anymore ( Read more... )

I want to know what benefits there are to drinking. How can Dave say he's not an alcoholic but every night when he gets home from work, the first thing is does is grab a beer. I've come to realize the reason that I get so upset with him... I feel second in his life. I'm second to his alcohol. And I have a feeling that will never change ( Read more... )

This is a rollercoaster from hell. And to think I'm the one who iniciated it ( Read more... )

... I should never have lied to him. I knew better. I don't know why I did. Well, I mean, there was the whole, "I don't want him to know about the pictures" part, but... I fucking made a promise to him, and to myself. How could I have let something so stupid break those promises?? I fucking knew!! He keeps saying he's been so stupid, but ( Read more... )

It feels kind of weird to be writing in here again. I've been relying on Dave to tell my emotions to, and, I like it that way better. I feel released in a way... free ( Read more... )

Okay... maybe not completely goodbye ( Read more... )