Actual interaction with an ex friend on Facebook.

[djmayhem_aubrey]

So I got a message on Facebook today from an ex-friend. I haven't actually heard from him since end of January, so I was a little surprised to hear from him again. Anyway, here's the message:

Hi Beth, I was just wondering why you don't talk to me anymore, did I do something, did something happen? What's the matter?
Normally I'd be explaining what

Comments

[slumber]

I'm a little more inclined to second chances, but... at the same time it does feel a little bit like he brushed all your concerns away with "I was in a really dark place". I don't think that quite explains the behavior you've described, though? I can't explain it but his explanation doesn't make sense to me.

He didn't apologize for that behavior so it doesn't strike me as he's owned up to it. The closest he said about it is "after certain misunderstandings" and "I never knew I did anything to bring you down" but again, there's no apology or straight up "I'm gonna stop doing that". There is a bit of guilt tripping, and the more I think about it, the more I feel it's better off for you to go with your gut here, and let bygones be bygones. You are not responsible for his well-being. He is responsible for his well-being. If he needs to see you to lift him up from feeling down, then he isn't truly out of his dark place yet.

[la_loony]

I completely agree with Evy.

[shinysparks]

My honest opinion? He wants you around because you make him happy; however, as others have said, he's not owning up to what he did. He's ignoring your feelings - if anything, he's proving what you called him out on, that your opinion isn't worth anything.

IDK. I tend to believe that at their core, people don't really change much - at least not over a short period of time (that's probably why I'm not so big on forgiveness.) I mean, he's turned himself completely around in a month? Short of a traumatic brain injury, that's a bit hard to do, which leads me to believe that he's not being completely honest here. :-/

[daisychain_xx]

That's a strange one. I'd suggest a face to face meeting. Somewhere neutral. Why not meet for coffee and explain why the relationship failed? It could be that he has turned over a new leaf, in which case you might be able to re-build things. Give it a little time and maybe things will work iteself out. Hopefully.

[supremacy_born]

He seems genuinely sorry about losing your friendship, so for what it's worth I think you should give him another chance. If he reverts back to his old ways again then you can cut all ties and know that you've made the right choice. Otherwise you might wonder if perhaps the friendship could have been salvaged after all?

[burningxhope]

As others have said, I think that you just need to go with your gut. If he was a friend that you actually liked being around, and that you have good memories with, than maybe try and give him a second chance. He's coming to you for a reason, and maybe he really has changed and wants to gain back a friend that he lost.

If you're not really sure one way or another, why not try meeting him somewhere for coffee or something, and talk to him more. It never hurts to talk, right?

When it comes to things like this it's always tricky. But it's really mostly what you feel and if you feel comfortable allowing him back into your life.