Actual interaction with an ex friend on Facebook.

[djmayhem_aubrey]

So I got a message on Facebook today from an ex-friend. I haven't actually heard from him since end of January, so I was a little surprised to hear from him again. Anyway, here's the message:

Hi Beth, I was just wondering why you don't talk to me anymore, did I do something, did something happen? What's the matter?
Normally I'd be explaining what

Comments

[wasureneba]

I'll chime in and say that I agree with everyone who's said "go with your gut". If he was someone whose company you enjoyed and who you wanted to be friends with---stay in contact. If you feel like you'd rather not be friends with him, then you don't have to be. You don't owe your friendship to people because they want it; you give your friendship to them because you want to.

[rusalchka]

In my personal experience, people who are truly callous and shallow do it with apathy, whereas others do it as a mask.

It sounds to me like this guy, had he truly been the version of him that turned you off, would have read your reasoning and given you one of two things:
1. A simple "whatev" or "k", and then laughed about it behind your back with no remorse for his actions, or
2. A personal attack, calling you names and berating you...also with no remorse for his actions.

I have been on the receiving end of this when I was younger, and have recently watched my own sister go through this.

His character, as you described in your response, sounds completely obnoxious and toxic, but people like that tend not to change. It seems as though maybe he was behaving that way as a front: maybe he thought derogatory comments boosted his masculinity, maybe he was imitating the behavior of his current social group, maybe he was trying to impress you with how knowledgeable/cultured he is (and failed in doing so).
He read your angry and not-so-

[alley_skywalker]

I'm here through HiH. I've had a similar situation happen - got to know a guy a bit, thought he was great, then suddenly stuff happens and I realize there was a side of him I didn't know at all and our world views on some things are in complete opposition. We haven't exactly been friends since

[nickershnick25]

I agree with Martine//evening12. Take some time and really consider the questions that she put forth and if your gut is still telling you that you just let it go then let it go.