Potions for Dummies (1/2)
(kaisoo, nc17, 18.5k, Hogwarts!AU, fluff/romance/humor)
'Potions can be really helpful sometimes,' Kyungsoo says. Jongin can't help but agree.
disclaimer: this is kind of a sequel to my taohun hogwarts!au smells like amortentia but can be read alone as well. i'd recommend to read smells like amortentia first, tho, if you like taohun and want some "background" information on jongin and kyungsoo and their little situation.
warning: mentions of side!taohun
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part I
It had been twelve years since Jongin had first set foot into a wizarding school, back then it had been the 'Elementary School For Witches And Wizards'. It had also been twelve years since he had been beaten to a pulp by a fuming baby Kyungsoo with a green shovel because he had apparently 'stepped on his favorite toy' on the first day of school. But most importantly, it had been twelve years since he had fallen in love with that guy and not managed to do anything about those unrequited feelings going away. And based on how everything had - not - worked out for Jongin in those many years, it was no wonder that his attempts at flirting were still met with nothing but disinterest, and the 'are-you-fucking-kidding-me' face Kyungsoo would look at him with everytime Jongin suggested the two of them spend some alone-time together or just sit opposite each other while having dinner in the Great Hall (In which case Kyungsoo would punch him in the guts every single time). So yeah, Jongin had his reasons for being incredibly sexual frustrated because after all he was just a fricking sixteen-year old teenager with the fricking need to get laid, but because he was also a fricking romantic - despite Sehun's firm belief that he was no more than a sick perverted fuck - he couldn't really bring himself to do it with someone else when his heart was with Kyungsoo - even when he had gotten a lot of enticing offers.
“This isn't funny anymore, I'm starting to get really serious virgin-symptoms here,” Jongin whispered to Yixing while looking at his crotch in the common room “I mean, I'm pretty sure my dick has gotten smaller.”
“I think that's physically impossible,” Yixing answered with a confused smile on his face, attention on Jongin's Transfiguration assignment correcting the younger's mistakes.
“I wouldn't be too sure. Maybe my body thinks that it doesn't need a dick anymore so it's slowly getting rid of it. Saving up energy for other useful parts of my body,” and actually saying it out loud made Jongin even more nervous because somehow it made sense. “What if I'm right?”
“Then more than half of the world's population are probably experiencing the same thing,” Yixing started, looking up for the first time to actually address “the problem” so he could shut his student up and make him concentrate on their tutoring sessions again. “You're sixteen, Jongin. Most people at that age haven't had sex yet.”
“Are you sure? Because I have the feeling that all I've been hearing recently are people telling me about their great sex lives.”
“That's because you hang out with Sehun all the time,” Yixing stated the obvious “and we all know how much sex him and Zitao have and to be honest I don't think that's healthy.”
“Sounds healthy to me,” Jongin answered convinced but gave up as he saw the annoyed look on Yixing's face.
He propped his head up on one of his hands, watching Yixing read through his assignment before the older guy looked up at him again, a weird look on his face.
“Could you please stop looking at me like that?”
“What do you mean,” Jongin asked back.
“When you're thinking about Kyungsoo I'd prefer if you could keep your eyes focused on something else. You're giving me the creeps.”
Jongin just sighed at that because Yixing hadn't been the first one to tell him that recently. It was just that sometimes Jongin couldn't help falling into those deep thoughts, thinking about what could happen if Kyungsoo fell in love with him as well.
“Sorry, I'll stop,” Jongin said, turning his head on his hand and facing another direction and trying to think about something else but found it impossible to distract himself for a very obvious reason.
He looked down at his pant's pocket, wrapping his fingers around the small bottle hiding inside of it.
Jongin had tried to tell himself many many times that it wouldn't be right to use the love potion and that he didn't really want Kyungsoo to like him like that anyway. But in a moment of weakness, when Jongdae had pulled out the little bottle on a string and swung it in front of his nose with a mischievous look on his face, Jongin had immediately snatched it and gave him the two gallons he'd wanted. Since then he had tried to bring himself not to use it but it was harder than he had thought, taking into account that this little bottle filled with thick fluids could be the solution to all of his problems - for a week that is - because as strong of a love potion as this was, it was only effective for a week. Afterwards it would lose all of its effects, leaving the person who had taken it with no memory of the previous week whatsoever. The one having slipped his crush the potion would then obviously be left standing all alone from one day to another, with only the memories of those wonderful seven days with memories only they remembered, and Jongin really didn't know if that was what he wanted.
But racking his brains about this any longer was useless and would make him go crazy, so Jongin decided at that moment that he would try it without the potion one more time. If his plan was futile then potion it was.
It was the usual Monday with Ravenclaw's Kyungsoo studying in the library right before dinner and Jongin sat in the spot right in front of his crush, watching him scribble a few words on the paper just to put his pen down again and read through some more of the text.
You could say that Jongin really didn't try to hide his feelings for Kyungsoo. Basically everyone knew about them and everyone liked to tease him for being in love with the sixth-year Ravenclaw - but Jongin didn't really care about that. What bothered him was that no one took him and his feelings seriously. He had been in love with Kyungsoo for years, and had not shown any interest in anyone else at all, but still nobody even gave a shit about his feelings and it kind of hurt. And Kyungsoo not even looking at him - even though Jongin has been watching him for hours every Monday in a very obvious manner for years - had hurt him even more.
“You know I'm here, right?” Jongin asked leaning forward and Kyungsoo looked up from his book for just a second.
“Yes.”
“And you also know why I'm here, right?” Jongin was really wondering about what kind of answer he was gonna get because as obvious as he was being about his feelings, he had never actually told Kyungsoo how he felt about him. This was because, as said, he thought that based on how he always asked him out on a date at least once a week just to get rejected over and over again it wasn't that hard to guess.
“To annoy me?” and this time Kyungsoo looked up at him for a bit longer, his eyes on Jongin when he answered.
“No. To spend time with you. And ask you out.”
“Why bother? You know my answer.”
“Well, I don't give up that easily.”
“You should,” Kyungsoo said exhaling loudly and Jongin felt his heart hurting at the annoyance in the boy's voice “I'm not interested.”
“Why not,” Jongin started, trying to keep his tone normal despite wanting to shout out desperately “You don't know me. Maybe you'd like me, just give me a chance. Or am I not your type?”
“You're not my type,” Kyungsoo said nonchalantly while searching for a specific page in his book before looking up at a speechless Jongin again “if that will keep you away from me then yes, you're not my type.”
“What's that supposed to mean. I am so your type!”
“I don't have a type. I'm just not interested at all.”
“Why?” Jongin almost shouted and didn't expect Kyungsoo to shut his book with a loud bang, looking up at him with anger seething in his eyes.
“Just because!” he said in a dangerous tone and stood up, starting to put his stuff back in his bag “I let you watch me up until now because you didn't really bother me, but if you're going to be so annoying in the future I won't come here anymore. Just give up. Get yourself some other boyfriend. For the last time, I am not interested!”
A few people had looked up from their books and at the two of them but before Madame Pince could even get to them to scold them for being so loud, Kyungsoo had gotten his stuff and walked away, leaving Jongin behind with a mixture of sadness and fury running through his veins.
Nobody cared about how he felt. Nobody took him seriously, not even Kyungsoo who was the source of his worries and broken heart.
“Not interested?” Jongin whispered to himself, fisting the little potions bottle in a tight hold “Well, let's change that!”
But how was he going to slip Kyungsoo the potion without anyone noticing? Jongin had spent days coming up with an answer to that question. In the end, he would need some help after all.
“No,” Luhan said firmly, biting into a piece of pancake “I like Kyungsoo and Kyungsoo likes me. And I don't want that to change so I won't help you poison him.”
“It's not poison! It's just a harmless love potion. Please, Luhan! You're a Gryffindor, show some bravery” Jongin started begging, whipping the fork out of Luhan's fingers and taking his hand into his ”You have the Ancient Runes class with him later, don't you? Just pour it into his water when he's not looking,” he pulled the small bottle with the purple liquid from his pants-pocket and put it in Luhan's hand, closing his fingers around them “I'll do whatever you want me to if you help me. Please, just this once!”
Luhan looked at Jongin troubled and then at the bottle in his hands.
“You're also a Gryffindor...” the older boy said, trying to find a way out of this but just from those softly mouthed words, Jongin already knew that he didn't have to do much more convincing. “He'll beat me up if he finds out.”
“But I don't have any classes with him! He's not in my year. Please, Luhan. He won't find out! In case he does, I'll tell him that I gave it to him. Please, Luhan, I just can't stand it anymore, being the only one in love. Just for a few days I'd like him to like me back. Maybe after that I can finally move on.” And with those words, Jongin knew that he had him. Luhan sighed and then nodded, taking the bottle and letting it disappear in his robe before looking at a smiling Jongin.
“You owe me one!”
Luhan had nodded at him at dinner that evening, showing him a thumbs up before smiling and then turning to Minseok again. Jongin had literally felt his heart jump in his chest at that moment.
Just the thought that Kyungsoo was going to be in love with him made him want to scream out in joy but at the same time he also wanted to laugh at Kyungsoo's face because even if he did like him a lot - let's be real, he loved the boy - he was kind of angry at him for having been that cold to him in the library on Monday.
Jongin took as sip of his juice and then looked over at the Ravenclaw table, searching for Kyungsoo. It only took him a second to find the boy staring right back at him. Jongin's eyes opened wide at the sight. Kyungsoo was basically not touching his food, just staring back at Jongin and not even looking away when Jongin was obviously looking right back at him, and even though he was hella uncomfortable Jongin didn't turn his head because he wanted to witness it. Witness Kyungsoo realizing his feelings for him and then panic and storm out of the Great Hall, leaving Jongin something to dream about at night. But to his disappointment, before any of that could happen, Joonmyeon sat down next to Kyungsoo, distracting him so their eyes unlocked and Jongin sighed.
It didn't matter though, because Jongin was going to have seven days to witness all of the different faces of Do Kyungsoo who'd finally like him back and not care shit about him. He'd have seven wonderful days and no, Jongin was not going to think about what was going to happen after that because that wasn't even important at all. All that counted were those next seven days and Jongin would be sure to make use of them and at least get fucking laid by the boy of his wet dreams!
It was not a Monday but because Jongin hadn't seen Kyungsoo since yesterday's dinner and he just couldn't wait until lunch any longer, Jongin decided to skip one of his less important Muggle Studies classes to find his crush, trying his luck in the Hogwarts' library first, since that was where Kyungsoo spent most of his free time. He was glad to see him there, seated at the same place as always, right next to the potions shelves on the other side of the entrance.
Jongin was grinning as he sat down in front of Kyungsoo. He had no idea what kind of reaction to expect but he was looking forward to anything that was about to come. Having tried to imagine what kind in-love type Kyungsoo was, he had come to no certain result.
“Kyungsoo,” so he started, watching the boy look up at him immediately. And differently than usual, Kyungsoo did not immediately look down again. He also didn't say anything back, though, just watching Jongin for a few seconds, eyes gliding over the whole of his face, like he was really seeing the Gryffindor for the first time. Jongin had no idea what to do or say with this unexpected outcome, so he settled for: “So... how are you?”
“As always,” Kyungsoo started but before Jongin could even say something he continued with a crease having appeared between his eyebrows “I guess” all the while still looking at him.
“That's good to hear,” Jongin answered and even though Kyungsoo was acting really strange, staring at him like that, he really wanted to smile because this was proof that the potion had worked and he had never really gotten that much attention from the boy before except for the time in Elementary School when he had been beaten into a pretty bad shape by him.
But judging from just this first encounter after the taking of the love potion, it was obvious that it had worked. Kyungsoo was in love with him - although, Jongin would have loved a little bit more of a “affectionate” reaction, but whatever, you can't always get what you want.
“Listen,” Jongin started then, a sweet smile on his lips as he found Kyungsoo unusually attentive to his words. “Are you gonna be done here soon? If yes, we could spend some time together, maybe?”
His heart made a loud thud at the expectation of Kyungsoo actually saying yes to his proposal, but then the saw the weird look on the boys face, something between annoyance and confusion, “Jongin,” Kyungsoo started and the Gryffinor was a bit surprised at the tone of his voice “What did I tell you last time? I am not interested and I'll never be.”
It took the taller boy a while to digest those words because first of all, he just didn't get how Kyungsoo had been able to say them and also... did Kyungsoo just reject him like usual?
“What...why?”, Jongin said, mouthing his thoughts at the unexpected answer and feeling more confused than hurt. “Don't you....like me?”
“I don't like you,” Kyungsoo answered immediately and Jongin would have believed those words if he didn't know better. “I'm not interested in you, at all.” And that's when Jongin got it.
The potion had worked. Kyungsoo was interested in him. He did like him. He just didn't want to admit it for some weird fucked-up reason.
No idea if he should be angry, confused or sad, Jongin was searching for the right words while Kyungsoo was staring at him, waiting for an answer or probably just trying to convince himself that Jongin had taken those ridiculous words off his shoulders.
“Have you... ever been in love?”, Jongin then asked and he knew that this kind of question probably didn't make any sense to Kyungsoo but it was interesting to see the boy's face twich into an expression that looked almost embarrassed.
“I haven't. So what?” but there his usual disinterest was back and Jongin wanted to sigh.
The potion had worked but nothing had really changed. The problem had never been Kyungsoo not being in love with him. The problem was that Kyungsoo didn't want to be in love. With anyone apparently.
“So why don't we change that?” Not that much hadn't already changed, but it was Kyungsoo's attitude that was standing between them now and if Jongin didn't manage to do something about that, he was gonna scream and cry like a little baby “I could make you fall in love with me?” Jongin said with a smile on his face and he felt like an idiot because he just wanted to flip his shit but here he was, pretending to be flirty, and Kyungsoo would reject him anyway, so what was he even trying to do here.
“Why would I want that?” Kyungsoo asked back, almost too serious.
“Because being in love is fun?”
“Oh is it? Has it been fun for you?” Kyungsoo asked, one eyebrow pulled up.
“What?”
“Has it been fun for you? Being in love with me for years without getting anything back in return?”
Jongin's heart probably shouldn't have hurt as much at those words, but it did. Just the though about having been in love on his own for such a long time and remembering how he had cried himself to sleep about those hopeless feelings not going away. And here Kyungsoo was, basically using it against him.
Being in love had only sucked for him.
“It will be fun when you start liking me back,” Jongin said, though, despite the slight doubt in his heart.
No, he was not going to cry about this. He was a man. He was a Gryffindor. He hadn't payed two gallons for nothing. There was no way Jongin was going to chicken out now just because Kyungsoo's words kind of made sense. Right now, he had Kyungsoo's heart at a place where he'd never have it again and he was going to make use of that. It had always been obvious that this was going to have a very sad ending for Jongin anyway, so he might as well get out of this as much as possible.
“I'm still not interested,” Kyungsoo said.
“You are not interested in having fun?” Jongin answered flirty, making obvious attempts but he really just wanted to scream because if this potion didn't work than nothing ever would.
“That's right, I'm not!” and it was with those words that Kyungsoo stood up, looking at Jongin for one more weirdly long moment before leaving Jongin behind again, just like the last time the two of them had been in the library together.
There had been very few moments in Jongin's life when he had felt that helpless. He felt pranked and like an idiot because the potion didn't change a person's personality and he should have seen this coming. Kyungsoo was not someone to lose his mind over being in love. He wasn't someone who'd act just based on feelings, of course Kyungsoo would wonder why he was feeling that way all of a sudden and not jump into anything that didn't really make any sense. At this point, Jongin wasn't even sure if Kyungsoo wouldn't just see through all of this and get that he had given him a potion. Kyungsoo wasn't stupid. He was in love with Jongin, thanks to the potion, but he wasn't stupid.
“Shit,” Jongin whispered, already regretting haven given Kyungsoo the potion.
It was day two and Jongin was still unsure of whether to abandon project 'make-sure-to-get-laid-while-Kyungsoo-is-under-the-influence-of-the-love-potion' or try his luck again. He had spent the night thinking about how he would be able to get Kyungsoo to act on his feelings and had made the horrible realization that he had never seen Kyungsoo express any kind of emotion that came somewhere close to actually being in love or interested in that way in another person. Kyungsoo was reserved, Kyungsoo didn't share his inner thoughts with other people, and most importantly - Kyungsoo didn't trust anyone and seven days were not enough to change that. But Jongin hadn't even planned to have a serious relationship with Kyungsoo in those few days together. He'd known that seven days were not enough. His goal had been to get laid and Jongin was still in the progress of thinking about whether Kyungsoo might actually go along with that in the case he were to ask him directly. He could get beaten up, but on the other hand Kyungsoo was a 17-year-old teenager, and even if Kyungsoo didn't care about being in love or in a relationship he should care about sex... shouldn't he?
“Kyungsoo has a dick, right?” Jongin asked and Minseok literally spat out his pumpkin juice right over his plate of food.
“What?!” he asked confused, looking at Jongin like he had just grown two heads.
“I mean,” Jongin started, still in deep thoughts “I'm pretty sure he's a virgin. He never had a girlfriend or a boyfriend and he doesn't seem like the type to just have sex with anyone. But why is he not interested in sex at all? He's a guy, isn't he?”
“Believe it or not,” Luhan started with an amused smile on his face, passing Minseok a napkin, “Not everyone thinks about sex 24/7.”
“But shouldn't he? We are at that age after all...” Jongin questioned seriously when he thought of something “Or maybe he does think about it and the reason for him always being in such a bad mood is because he doesn't get any.”
“Kyungsoo has been like this since I can remember,” Luhan said sitting down next to Jongin.
“Has been like what?”, Kyungsoo asked and grabbing a piece of bread while looking at Jongin, even though the question had clearly been directed at Luhan.
“Nothing,” Luhan said quickly but Kyungsoo didn't seem very satisfied with that answer and moved his eyes to look at Luhan, making him nervous.
“You've always been... kind of grumpy,” Luhan started and continued nervously when he saw Kyungsoo pulling up an eyebrow in interest “Which is a good thing! Grumpy people are very nice!” and if this hadn't been such an important matter for Jongin he'd probably laughed, like Minseok was, silently into his napkin.
“We were talking about sex, actually”, Jongin stated, deciding that seeing what kind of reaction Kyungsoo had to that subject might help him to figure out what to do next “and I just thought that you didn't seem interested in it is all.”
“Well, I have other stuff to worry about. Some people actually care about their education you know,” Kyungsoo started and Jongin was not surprised to see Kyungsoo not even flinch at the subject.
Of course, like everything else, Kyungsoo was looking at this in a very neutral manner which is what he had expected.
“It's just that I'm surprised that you're not curious. You would think that someone who cares so much about chemicals working together would care about the effect sex can have on the human body,” Jongin said, surprised at how smoothly he had managed to come up with that in a manner of seconds and grinning.
He could see Kyungsoo being surprised at those words as well, opening his mouth but not immediately answering, before buttering his piece of bread and obviously thinking about an answer.
Luhan and Minseok seemed surprised at Kyungsoo's sudden silence as well and kept on looking at him while waiting for him to say something.
“You're really not interested? Not at all?” Jongin asked again and feeling a weird sensation in his chest when Kyungsoo looked intensely back at him.
“Well,” he began “it's not a serious concern but I wouldn't say that I don't care at all” His attempt at being nonchalant about the subject didn't go past Jongin who could tell that this was actually a big deal to Kyungsoo since the boy was observing his reaction. Jongin really wanted to grin but he didn't, because he suddenly felt Kyungsoo's eyes on his body looking at him kind of... interested.
“Can't say I'm not surprised to hear that,” Luhan said all of a sudden and Jongin snapped out of his thoughts, Kyungsoo's eyes leaving him in a second. Even though it had only been a split moment of Kyungsoo's eyes on Jongin's body, Jongin felt like he was going crazy because oh my god, Kyungsoo had been checking him out. He had just been thinking about sex... with Jongin.
“Why did you actually think that Kyungsoo didn't care at all?” Minseok asked surprised and it was obvious that neither of the other two Gryffindors had noticed the little moment between Jongin and Kyungsoo “Everyone cares about sex, even if they don't talk about it.”
Jongin would have probably used this chance to find out a bit more about Kyungsoo's sex life if it hadn't been for a very confused Joonmyeon sitting down next to Kyungsoo and looking at him in interest.
“You're eating at the Gryffindor table?”
“They were talking about me and I thought why not join them,” Kyungsoo answered, biting into his bread and not meeting Jongin's eyes anymore, which was obviously intentionally.
“Oh,” Joonmyeon started and was about to say more when Jongin felt someone sling his arm around his shoulder and sit down next to him.
“Yo,” Sehun said, looking over at Kyungsoo with a grin and Jongin was glad that Kyungsoo didn't notice because it was pretty fricking obvious that Sehun's gaze meant something.
Of course everyone at this table except for the two Ravenclaws knew about Kyungsoo being under the influence of the love potion and Jongin wasn't sure if he liked that.
“Big game tomorrow, you ready?” Sehun asked and Jongin was more than thankful that his best friend had the consideration not to mention anything that could make Kyungsoo realize what was going on “You're gonna destory Hufflepuff, I know it!” the boy said before his Hufflepuff boyfriend Tao poked him in the side, making an annoyed sound.
“You should be on my house's side!”
“You don't even care about Quidditch,” Sehun said confused as to why Tao was suddenly pouting.
“But I care about my house. And you should too, I'm your boyfriend.”
“Well, then,” Sehun said, showing Jongin a gotta-listen-to-your-woman gaze before turning to Tao “I'll be rooting for Hufflepuff! I'm sure they'll win!”
“Oh don't kid yourself, “ Zitao started, grossly shoving a piece of pie in his mouth “Yifan is down with the flu, without him our team is nothing,” Tao explained the obvious and Sehun seemed rather confused but decided to drop the subject and grasp an apple before greeting the other guys at the table.
“Look at this, all of us sitting together at one table, you could think that we were all in the same house,” Luhan said smiling before Sehun snorted in amusement and Minseok just looked back at him, an annoyed smile on his face.
“Typical for a Slytherin,” he said tiredly “Doesn't want to get put together with the other houses.”
“That's not why I snorted,” Sehun answered “Tao just tried to shove his hand down my pants and hit his hand against the table hard.”
“What did I say about not everyone caring about sex? Let me take that back,” Luhan said laughing.
“You could think that Tao was still under the influence of that potion,” Minseok started amused and Jongin already felt something bad twist in his stomach “Not even being able to control himself in the presence of a bunch of other guys, and all.”
“I was never under the influence of any potion,” Tao explained annoyed “They didn't even give it to me, remember? Sold it to someone else” and Jongin just wanted to shush them quiet because everybody knew the story about how Sehun and Zitao had become a couple anyway. Slytherin's Baekhyun had wanted to help his friend Sehun and had pretended to give Zitao a love potion for him so Sehun would finally get the balls to approach him since he had been in love with him for years. In the end, everything had turned out just fine for the two of them and the love potion Kyungsoo had spent hours on brewing had ended up in Jongdae's hands who had then sold it to Jongin who had then again used it on Kyungsoo. The whole story was kind of ironic if you thought about it. But even though everybody knew that story - except for the last part which only a few selected people knew about - Jongin was feeling a panic attack rising up in his body because just bringing the subject up in front of Kyungsoo was extremely risky because, as mentioned before, Kyungsoo was pretty fucking clever and it wouldn't be that hard for him - the brewer of the potion! - to figure out that he had been the one to end up taking it. But shit, Jongin felt like it was already too late anyway, because all of a sudden Kyungsoo was looking at him in a very confused and wide-eyed manner and for a second Jongin thought that Kyungsoo had figured it out for sure.
The optimist in Jongin was talking when he came up with the tought that yes, Kyungsoo was clever, but why would he think that of all people Jongdae had sold the potion to him. That would be a kind of a far-fetched idea, wouldn't it?
“What's wrong?” Joonmyeon suddenly asked while Tao and Minseok were still arguing over the potion incident “You look shocked. You ok?” he said to Kyungsoo and Jongin could see the Ravenclaw still looking at him from the corner of his eye.
“It's nothing,” the boy answered and wrapped his hand around his glass of juice “I'm fine” all the while still looking at Jongin. The Gryffinor wished from the bottom of his heart that it was because he was still having those sexy feelings for him and not because he had just figured everything out.
The potion was his last chance after all.
It was an important game against Hufflepuff and Jongin was at his best. Physically, that is. Mentally, he was prepared to jump off of his broom and to his certain death just so he could avoid thinking more about Kyungsoo and the possibility that the boy had found out about the potion. And also to avoid the huge doe-like eyes that were staring at him from the Ravenclaw seats, not having left him for a second since the game had started and Jongin had basically been flying circles around the field in a half-assed attempt looking out for the snitch.
He had to concentrate! This was an important match and whether Kyungsoo was looking at him because he was mad at him for having been given a love potion or because he was still thinking about their conversation from yesterday and staring at him with the thoughts of sex shouldn't be of any matter at this moment. His thoughts should be about Quidditch, and Quidditch had always been the one thing Kyungsoo and Jongin's die-hard feelings for him hadn't had any influence on. Jongin didn't want this to change, ever. So he got himself together, turned his back to the Ravenclaw and put his whole concentration on finding the small golden ball.
It was only a few minutes later, that the snitch passed by him in unbelievable speed just to shot towards the ground and Jongin dove down with it, eyes fixed on the ball and the Gryffindors cheering and screaming in excitement. The snitch flew up and down and up and down and up again and when Jongin held out his spread-apart fingers to snatch the golden ball in his hand he was crashed into from the side by the Hufflepuff's seeker, moaning out in disappointment at the loss of the opportunity to win the game. Quickly flying forward, he caught up with the other seeker and the snitch and after minutes of pushing into each other from the sides exhaustingly their fingers cramping at the tension in them, Jongin decided that he would end this game now. They were only a few meters above the ground when Jongin made a jump for it, off of his broom, both hands grasping the snitch tightly between his fingers before he was falling down too fast for anything to cushion the collision with the ground. His left shoulder hurt like a bitch and he was about to pass out from the pain when he held his hands high, opening them to show the snitch to the crowd as half of them broke out in loud cheers. And for a very short moment, Jongin couldn't help but look over at where Kyungsoo was seated just to see that the boy was leaning over, still staring at him, mouth opened speechless, and if Jongin hadn't known better he'd have thought that Kyungsoo was actually shocked to see him lying there in pain, and he probably really was, but it was the potion that made him feel that way and more than Jongin's shoulder his heart hurt at that thought. Nevertheless, Jongin smiled at him, a wide-mouthed smile before two of his team-mates finally reached him to lift him up and carry him out of the field.
Jongin was passed a quick pain-relief potion as he was brough to the hospital wing, holding on to his dislocated shoulder with one hand.
Gryffinor had just won one of the most important matches of the year but Jongin didn't feel as excited as he should have. Yes, he was glad and proud of himself but the smiling faces of Luhan and Minseok - their team's beater - as they accompanied him to Madam Pomfrey couldn't quite make him feel any better about the situation.
After having a few spells cast on his shoulder and Madam Pomfrey checking the movements of his arm, he was released again, sighing at the though of having to go back to a house that was probably in a party-mood and would welcome him with cheers and screams when Jongin really just wanted to lie down and sleep, even though it was in the middle of the day and he'd better get his homework done so he would have the whole of tomorrow to spend in Hogsmeade. His thoughts were cut short, though, by the sight of Kyungsoo standing awkwardly in front of the stairs that led to the Gryffindor dormitory.
The boy was looking at him, first at his face and then at his arm and Jongin wanted to laugh because it was so obvious that the boy had come to check on him but there he was still looking at him with so much disinterest in his eyes, like that was the only expression he could ever make.
“Hey,” Jongin said and he didn't even have to say anything to Luhan and Minseok for them to read the situation and scram, leaving the two of them alone in the pretty much empty hallway.
“Congratulations,” Kyungsoo said, sounding earnest despite the lack of interest in his gaze.
“Thank you.” Jongin was waiting for Kyungsoo to say more but after a few seconds of silence he figured that the boy hadn't even thought about trying to hide his intentions “My arm is ok by the way.”
“I didn't ask,” Kyungsoo answered immediately and Jongin smiled tiredly.
“But that's why you're here, right? You were worried.” Jongin stated matter-of-factly and could see something weird flicker in Kyungsoo's eyes for just a moment. Similar to the way he had looked at him two days ago and said that he wasn't interested in him, even though he had obviously already been.
“I was just passing by.”
“Of course you were,” and the sarcasm in his voice was pretty obvious but then Jongin saw Kyungsoo sigh like he didn't even care anymore, not turning around to leave either, though.
All Jongin wanted was to rest and being confronted with Kyungsoo at that moment made him even more tired because he just couldn't get what was going on in the boy's head, and at that moment he realized he probably never would and doing any more guessing and thinking when the answer would never be certain was useless.
“You going to Hogsmaede tomorrow?” Jongin asked even though he knew that Kyungsoo was because basically everyone was going and despite Kyungsoo being a really down-to-earth person, Jongin knew that the boy had an unhealthy obsession with butterbear because he had watched him drink at least four cups on every single trip to Hogsmaede.
“Yes, why?”
“We could go together. In case you're interested.”
“I'm not, though,” he shot out like a pistol and Jongin probably shouldn't have laughed at that but he did anyway because how fricking stupid was he even.
Kyungsoo was impossible to get close to and Jongin just couldn't take it anymore.
He would give up.
Now.
“Ok, then. Have fun,” he said sincere, a smile on his face that was very hard to maintain, as he turned around and didn't even catch Kyungsoo looking at him in surprise before doing so.
“Wait,” Kyungsoo called after Jongin had already crossed half the stairs, making a few steps towards Jongin himself and having the younger boy stare at him in a strange kind of anticipation.
Kyungsoo didn't say anything, though and Jongin didn't know what that meant. If he didn't know Kyungsoo any better he'd think that he wanted to go with him after all... but that wasn't possible right? Especially not if he'd really found out about the potion. This would be a reason for Kyungsoo to beat him up again and not go on a date with him.
“Well, I'll be at the entrance after breakfast tomorrow. Maybe we'll see each other there,” Jongin decided to say because it was the perfect way to find out how much Kyungsoo really knew and somehow he had a feeling that even if Kyungsoo wanted to go with him, he wouldn't be able to bring himself to say that. “when you coincidentally pass by again,” he added and then something happened that almost made Jongin open his eyes wide in shock.
One of the corners of Kyungsoo's mouth was twiching up in annoyed amusement at the obvious sarcasm in Jongin's statement once more.
Was that a good or a bad sign, Jongin had no idea but he had never seen Kyungsoo make that kind of face before.
“Yeah, we'll see about that,” the boy answered almost grinning in amusement when he turned around, shooting Jongin one more intense look before turning around and leaving.
And once again, Jongin was left behind feeling like a very confused idiot because of fricking Do Kyungsoo.
Kyungsoo was already there, waiting for him while leaning against a wall and somehow Jongin wasn't surprised. He approached him with a huge grin on his face just to see the boy looking back at him the same way he always did.
“You came,” Jongin said excited and what Kyungsoo gave him wasn't even a nod but just a twitch of the head as they started walking out of the castle together, next to each other in silence.
Jongin couldn't quite believe his luck and he knew that he was staring at the Ravenclaw but he didn't fricking care because this is what he had wanted for years. Walking with Kyungsoo like this. Next to each other. For everyone to see.
“Aren't you going to say anything?“ Kyungsoo suddenly asked, looking up at Jongin. “You seem like the really talkative type.”
“I am, actually. But you aren't so I don't want to annoy you on our first date,” and Jongin could hear Kyungsoo snort at the word date and when he expected the older boy to tell him that this wasn't a date at all, he was almost shocked that he didn't.
“It's ok if you want to talk. If you're annoying me, I'll tell you.”
“Oh, I believe you,” Jongin answered laughing and then decided that he was going to take Kyungsoo by his words and started talking.
They didn't really have any specific topic at first, just going back and forth between school stuff, teachers and how much they enjoyed spending time in Hogsmaede and Jongin found himself surprised at how easily Kyungsoo answered and kept the conversation alive. It's not like Kyungsoo was an especially quiet person but Jongin had nevertheless not thought that he'd have it that easy.
By the time they arrived at the Three Broom Sticks they had started talking about their families and Jongin only really realized than that he really didn't know anything about the boy he's been in love with for many many years. For example, he didn't know that Kyungsoo had an older brother. He didn't know that his family lived in the muggle world. He didn't know that Joonmyeon was apparently Kyungsoo's best friend and they had grown up being neighbours, but most important he didn't know that Kyungsoo knew so much about him.
“So I guess your father is really proud of you? Since his son is as just a great seeker as himself?” he was really surprised to hear that because basically nobody knew that his father had played for the Heidelberg Harriers years ago. It's not that Jongin was ashamed of him, quite the contrary, he loved his father and looked up to him, but he had never really told anybody about being his son because he didn't want all the attention... or more like, any more attention than he already had, because Jongin was really good-looking and yea, people knew him for that.
“How do you know about my father,” Jongin asked surprised and Kyungsoo looked almost confused as he put down his already second cup of butterbeer after the two of them had sat down in the corner of the bar.
“He always picked you up from elementary school back then,” Kyungoo started “Also, you look a lot like him. Especially when you laugh.”
“Wow,” Jongin said. He really had had no idea that Kyungsoo knew that much about him. Maybe he hadn't been as disinterested as he always said. “You payed attention, didn't you?” Jongin said, feeling touched and warm in his heart and he could see that Kyungsoo hadn't realized that he had basically just told him that.
“I'm an observer, that's all.”
“Is that so?” Jongin asked and this time didn't even try to sound sarcastic because he could feel that Kyungsoo was uncomfortable and didn't want to make it worse. Either way, he was happy. “And to your question. Yes, my dad is proud of me. Very much so. My mum though, yelled at me for an hour yesterday after I told her about how I won,” Jongin said, nervously laughing “She says that it's stupid of me to risk my life for just some silly game.”
“I don't think it's stupid,” Kyungsoo answered, biting into a piece of pastry before continuing “You're just incredibly passionate about something. I think that's a wonderful trait to have.”
And Kyungsoo had no idea what those words meant to Jongin at all. He was mindlessly continuing to chew on his bread when Jongin felt his heart warming and for a few seconds he was seriously considering to just lean over and kiss the boy on the lips.
It was sad, but Jongin seriously couldn't remember the last time someone had made given him such a sincere compliment. And it coming from Kyungsoo made it even more meaningful.
“Thank you,” Jongin said, a lovely smile on his face and only when Kyungsoo looked back in his eyes, did the boy notice what his compliment had done to Jongin. He looked back at him, confused and almost embarrassed for only a second before swallowing hard.
After that they drank some more butterbeer before Jongin accompanied Kyungsoo the the local potions store to buy some more small corked-bottles before it was time to go back already and they had to go back making their way to the castle while talking some more about Quidditch and finding out that Kyungsoo was actually a fan of the same team.
“Thanks for coming with me today,” Jongin said when they had unfortunately made it back to the castle way too soon after spending a few wonderful hours together. They were now standing in the corridor where they had to separate to get to their houses.
“No problem,” Kyungsoo answered, looking up at Jongin somehow intensely. It was obvious that Kyungsoo was in love with him and somehow finally being the one to be looked at like that felt wonderful and it would have felt even better if it hadn't been for the potion. Jongin was now pretty sure that Kyungsoo despite his weird reaction in the Great Hall yesterday, didn't know about the potion. If he had, he would have beaten Jongin to a bloody pulp and not decided to spend the whole day with him, giving him compliments and even treating him to that last mug of butterbeer. With this date, Jongin had somehow forgotten that he'd really only planned to shag Kyungsoo because what he had gotten today was so much more than he had ever thought. He may not have gotten the Ravenclaw to give him his body but he had had a little bit of insight into his heart and as horny of a teenager Jongin was, he couldn't imagine anything better. This was one of the happiest moments he's had in like ever.
“Can I ask you something, though?” Jongin asked and continued when he saw Kyungsoo nod “Why did you decide to give me a chance after all?”
Jongin felt like he was supposed to know that answer because Kyungsoo was looking at him like he had asked a strange question. But no, Jongin really didn't know. The potion alone wouldn't make Kyungsoo do that. His character was still the same and one of his few character traits was that he wasn't interested in strangers and also that he had no intention of getting into an new kind of deep relationship. So why had he accepted this offer? Was it after all because of their conversation yesterday and Kyungsoo had become interested in a sexual relationship? Jongin somehow highly doubted that.
“Well, you seemed rather...” and Kyungsoo was apparently searching for the right word when Jongin tried to guess it.
“Sincere?” he asked and Kyungsoo looked at him nodding.
“That and desperate. Rather desperate.”
“Well, as bad as that sounds, I can't say that it's not true,” after all he had to resort to using a ridiculous love potion. “But was it ok? I mean... not too sound to strange, but was I really as bad as you always thought I was?” he begged to the lords that Kyungsoo wasn't going to say yes because that would have probably been the only thing able to ruin this wonderful day for him.
“I never thought that you were a bad person or something,” Kyungsoo started and it was so obvious that he was kind of uncomfortable talking about this whole sicnere-feelings shit “I just-”
“Don't like people getting close to you?” Jongin asked because he knew that this was it and Kyungsoo would not have been able to say it like that because maybe he didn't even realize his problem himself.
The shorter boy didn't say anything to that, just looking at Jongin and then at his feet and that was enough of an answer for Jongin.
“Again, thanks for giving me a chance, “Jongin said, smiling sincerely and catching Kyungsoo's eyes in his again “and this might be too much and maybe I'll get hit but I really don't care, so,” and that was the moment Jongin decided to not give any more shits and leaned forward, hands not even reaching out, when he kissed Kyungsoo on the lips. A kiss that was soft but hard at the same time and only lasted for a few short seconds, but in those seconds Kyungsoo didn't push him away and when Jongin moved back, feeling his lips burning like fire at the new sensation, he could see Kyungsoo staring back into his eyes, confused. Not disgusted or angry. Just really really confused.
“You're not going to hit me?” Jongin asked kind of nervous but Kyungsoo didn't say nor do anything so Jongin leaned forward again, without thinking, this time holding Kyungsoo's neck with one hand and pressing their lips together harder before opening his mouth and oh god, Kyungsoo was kissing him back. He felt Kyungsoo's tongue againt his, hot and wet and he wanted to get closer and hug the boy while kissing him more, but before he could do that, Kyungsoo stepped back, their lips separating and Jongin almost felt cold at the sudden empty feeling on his mouth.
“That's not a good idea,” Kyungsoo just said and Jongin wanted to ask him why but the boy wasn't even looking at him. “I need to go so...” he then said, looking up at Jongin, seeming really serious all of a sudden.
“Go where?”, Jongin asked confused and disappointed because was this Kyungsoo rejecting him again or was he just to overwhelmed and didn't quite know what to do with his feelings which would be ok because Jongin didn't either.
“The library,” Kyungsoo answered, though and Jongin had no idea where this was suddenly coming from.
“Can I come with you?”
“No,” Kyungsoo said strongly but he didn't seem to be in such a hurry anymore, looking up at Jongin. “I'll see you at breakfast.” He said and all of a sudden all the negative thoughts were blown out of Jongin's head and all he could think about was going to sleep and waking up fast so he could see Kyungsoo again at breakfast and maybe he would let him kiss him again. Maybe giving Kyungsoo the potion hadn't been such a bad idea after all.
“Ok. Breakfast,” Jongin agreed before he grinned like a confused idiot, watching Kyungsoo turn around hesitatingly and leaving for the library.
Kyungsoo looked incredibly tired the next morning and Jongin had the feeling that it had either something to do with him not getting enough sleep because he'd been thinking too much about their kiss or he'd spent half the night in the library, for whatever reason. It turned out it was the second option when Kyungsoo collapsed in the seat in front of him at the Gryffindor table and Jongin couldn't help asking.
“Did you at least find what you were looking for?” Jongin asked worried and maybe it was wrong of him to feel that way but he wanted to hug Kyungsoo and pat his back while telling him that it was alright to take the day off and go to sleep again. He already felt like his boyfriend even though they'd only kissed once - or twice - and Kyungsoo was still not acting all that different around him. But just the fact that the boy had not forgotten about his promise yesterday and was now sitting in front of him was already a sign that something huge had changed. And Jongin really wanted to think that the potion didn't have anything to do with it.
“Yeah,” the boy answered yawning and holding out the his hand, pointing at the pumpkin juice so Jongin would pass it to him.
“That's good. Do you want to do something today after classes?”
“Don't you have Quidditch training?” Kyungsoo asked half-heartedly and Jongin was again surprised that he knew about that.
“No, it got cancelled because we won the last game and Madame Hooch said we deserved a free afternoon.”
“I see,” Kyungsoo answered, looking at Jongin and seeing him smile “but I can't. Kinda busy.”
“Oh, with what?”, Jongin wanted to know because maybe he'd be able to accompany him anyway. “Can I come?”
“It'd be boring for you, just some potions stuff,” the boy answered after showing half a piece of bread in his mouth and pulling out a huge old book from his bag, searching for a specific page. “I'll be really busy for the next three days.”
“Three days?” Jongin asked fearing the worst. They only had three days left, what was he going to do if Kyungsoo was not gonna spend that time with him? “You can't, though.”
“I have to. It's important,” Kyungsoo answered and he didn't even seem surprised about Jongin's anxious answer. “You'll see afterwards.”
“I don't think I will,” because after all Kyungsoo was going to forget. He was going to forget everything including this conversation.
No, Jongin couldn't let him have those three days.
He was about to tell him that but then Kyungsoo sighed, putting down his mug and looking at Jongin understanding “I really have to do this. But if you really can't bear to be separated from me for a few days” and if Jongin didn't know Kyungsoo's personality he'd have thought that he'd said those words to tease him, but no, Kyungsoo was dead serious “You can tag along. I'm telling you though, you'll be bored.”
“I'm sure I won't,” Jongin said with a huge grin on his face. “Thank you.” And for a moment Jongin could have sworn that Kyungsoo was smiling back at him, understanding in his eyes, but the gaze was gone too fast to make sure.
Kyungoo was in love with him and he was being so obvious about it that sometimes Jongin thought he was facing a different person. Not a person he disliked though, no, a person he could hug and kiss and smile at and even if Kyungsoo was busy and would glare at him from time to time if Jongin couldn't keep his fingers off of him and ended up back-hugging him every few minutes - because watching Kyungsoo brew his potion and concentrating hard was the sexiest thing he had ever seen in his life, - he was as happy as he'd never been before and no he was not thinking about how everything would change in a few days.
Jongin was an optimist. Jongin loved Kyungsoo and Kyungsoo loved him and that was all that counted for now. He'd have to see what happened in two days and then decide if he was going to panic and cry about losing his baby boy - a secret nickname he had for Kyungsoo which he'd surely never address him with since Kyungsoo could hit really hard and Jongin preferred to be treated with love and care instead of fear and punishment - or look back on this one week of happiness with a smile on his face.
Sometimes he woke up in the middle of the night, the thoughts of everything going back to the way it was before Kyungsoo had been in love with him, and he'd feel something very very bad and uncomfortable in his chest, but then he'd press his hand down on the patch of skin right above his heart, close his eyes and think about how Kyungsoo's plump lips felt on his and all he could do was smile and do his best to fall asleep again so he could run to the great hall the next morning and haul Kyungsoo over his lab, kissing him senseless and having his friends watch in disgust and not at all caring. Well, that's what he had done on day four and afterwards, Kyungsoo had glared at him embarrassed and squeezed his hand tight under the table but it had all been worth it and somehow the strong touch which had apparently been supposed to be a punishment had send shivers down his back right to his crotch, and the moment Kyungsoo had looked down between them under the table and seen the small tent that was building up in Jongin's pants, he had gasped in shock and pulled his hand away, not daring to look at Jongin again. Jongin had laughed so much that morning, Luhan had watched him in confusion, tapping his forehead at Minseok who'd only nodded in agreement.
“You know,” Kyungsoo suddenly said with Jongin pressed against his back while adding some ingredients to his potion, carefully measuring them beforehand “Are you not going to ask me what I'm brewing? This is your second day here and it doesn't seem like you care much.”
“Because I don't,” Jongin answered truthfully, pressing his face in the nape of Kyungsoo's neck, a light kiss scratched under his earlobe, making the smaller guy pull his shoulders up at the sensation, and Jongin really couldn't believe that he was allowed to do this “In this world there is nothing I care less about than potions, Kyungsoo.”
“Really,” the boy answered, sounding surprised even though Jongin thought he had made it pretty obvious that all he cared about was basically him and Quidditch “Potions can be really helpful sometimes.”
“Oh, I know,” Jongin whispered not knowing if he should be grinning mischievously or panic at the possibility of being exposed “They really really are,” he said, pressing another kiss to Kyungsoo's neck, this time sucking at the skin for a moment before letting go with his lips to slide the tip of his tongue over it. Kyungsoo gasped at the feeling, leaning his head back to one side so Jongin could reach his neck better. “Like that?”
“Mhm,” Kyungsoo just breathed and Jongin could see that his eyes were closed and he had stopped moving his wand-hand, holding on to the side of the table instead to steady himself. “I really need to work, though. This potion can't go wrong.”
“Is it really that important,” Jongin could hear the annoyance in his own voice “Can't it wait for like two more days?”
“No, it can't,” Kyungsoo said and suddenly he opened his eyes again and pushed Jongin away from him a little, rubbing his fingertips over the red spot where Jongin's mouth had been until a few seconds ago. “It's really important.”
Jongin exhilarated loudly, already missing the feeling of Kyungsoo's tiny body pressed against his front, but then he smiled as he felt the boy's eyes on him and leaned back against the table next to the huge cauldron.
“What is it then? The potion I mean?”
“Too late. Won't tell you know,” Kyungsoo said not smiling, his eyes fixed on the potions' book again and starting the circling motion with his wand again. “Why don't you go and sit back down somewhere, or better yet leave all together, you're distracting me.”
“But you like being distracted,” Jongin said grinning and Kyungsoo glared at him. “Don't pretend.”
“I like the way you distract me but not being distracted. Please just sit down and be quiet, or go. This is important,” Kyungsoo sounded really serious so Jongin made a pouty face before getting his bag and wielding it over his shoulder.
“Fine. I will go. When will you be done?”
“Half an hour?”, Kyungsoo guessed while adding another sprinkle of some silver powder. “I'm free afterwards.”
“To continue where we left off?” Jongin asked happily, getting closer to his baby boy again and smiling when he saw Kyungsoo nod trying not to blush “Great. Meet me in the Great Hall?” Kyungsoo nodded again before Jongin pressed a soft kiss to his boyfriend's lips and left, waving his hand like a madman, looking forward to their evening spent together.
Yes, they had had a talk and Kyungsoo had agreed that it was ok to call him his boyfriend.
For now.
part II
'Potions can be really helpful sometimes,' Kyungsoo says. Jongin can't help but agree.
disclaimer: this is kind of a sequel to my taohun hogwarts!au smells like amortentia but can be read alone as well. i'd recommend to read smells like amortentia first, tho, if you like taohun and want some "background" information on jongin and kyungsoo and their little situation.
warning: mentions of side!taohun
__
part I
It had been twelve years since Jongin had first set foot into a wizarding school, back then it had been the 'Elementary School For Witches And Wizards'. It had also been twelve years since he had been beaten to a pulp by a fuming baby Kyungsoo with a green shovel because he had apparently 'stepped on his favorite toy' on the first day of school. But most importantly, it had been twelve years since he had fallen in love with that guy and not managed to do anything about those unrequited feelings going away. And based on how everything had - not - worked out for Jongin in those many years, it was no wonder that his attempts at flirting were still met with nothing but disinterest, and the 'are-you-fucking-kidding-me' face Kyungsoo would look at him with everytime Jongin suggested the two of them spend some alone-time together or just sit opposite each other while having dinner in the Great Hall (In which case Kyungsoo would punch him in the guts every single time). So yeah, Jongin had his reasons for being incredibly sexual frustrated because after all he was just a fricking sixteen-year old teenager with the fricking need to get laid, but because he was also a fricking romantic - despite Sehun's firm belief that he was no more than a sick perverted fuck - he couldn't really bring himself to do it with someone else when his heart was with Kyungsoo - even when he had gotten a lot of enticing offers.
“This isn't funny anymore, I'm starting to get really serious virgin-symptoms here,” Jongin whispered to Yixing while looking at his crotch in the common room “I mean, I'm pretty sure my dick has gotten smaller.”
“I think that's physically impossible,” Yixing answered with a confused smile on his face, attention on Jongin's Transfiguration assignment correcting the younger's mistakes.
“I wouldn't be too sure. Maybe my body thinks that it doesn't need a dick anymore so it's slowly getting rid of it. Saving up energy for other useful parts of my body,” and actually saying it out loud made Jongin even more nervous because somehow it made sense. “What if I'm right?”
“Then more than half of the world's population are probably experiencing the same thing,” Yixing started, looking up for the first time to actually address “the problem” so he could shut his student up and make him concentrate on their tutoring sessions again. “You're sixteen, Jongin. Most people at that age haven't had sex yet.”
“Are you sure? Because I have the feeling that all I've been hearing recently are people telling me about their great sex lives.”
“That's because you hang out with Sehun all the time,” Yixing stated the obvious “and we all know how much sex him and Zitao have and to be honest I don't think that's healthy.”
“Sounds healthy to me,” Jongin answered convinced but gave up as he saw the annoyed look on Yixing's face.
He propped his head up on one of his hands, watching Yixing read through his assignment before the older guy looked up at him again, a weird look on his face.
“Could you please stop looking at me like that?”
“What do you mean,” Jongin asked back.
“When you're thinking about Kyungsoo I'd prefer if you could keep your eyes focused on something else. You're giving me the creeps.”
Jongin just sighed at that because Yixing hadn't been the first one to tell him that recently. It was just that sometimes Jongin couldn't help falling into those deep thoughts, thinking about what could happen if Kyungsoo fell in love with him as well.
“Sorry, I'll stop,” Jongin said, turning his head on his hand and facing another direction and trying to think about something else but found it impossible to distract himself for a very obvious reason.
He looked down at his pant's pocket, wrapping his fingers around the small bottle hiding inside of it.
Jongin had tried to tell himself many many times that it wouldn't be right to use the love potion and that he didn't really want Kyungsoo to like him like that anyway. But in a moment of weakness, when Jongdae had pulled out the little bottle on a string and swung it in front of his nose with a mischievous look on his face, Jongin had immediately snatched it and gave him the two gallons he'd wanted. Since then he had tried to bring himself not to use it but it was harder than he had thought, taking into account that this little bottle filled with thick fluids could be the solution to all of his problems - for a week that is - because as strong of a love potion as this was, it was only effective for a week. Afterwards it would lose all of its effects, leaving the person who had taken it with no memory of the previous week whatsoever. The one having slipped his crush the potion would then obviously be left standing all alone from one day to another, with only the memories of those wonderful seven days with memories only they remembered, and Jongin really didn't know if that was what he wanted.
But racking his brains about this any longer was useless and would make him go crazy, so Jongin decided at that moment that he would try it without the potion one more time. If his plan was futile then potion it was.
It was the usual Monday with Ravenclaw's Kyungsoo studying in the library right before dinner and Jongin sat in the spot right in front of his crush, watching him scribble a few words on the paper just to put his pen down again and read through some more of the text.
You could say that Jongin really didn't try to hide his feelings for Kyungsoo. Basically everyone knew about them and everyone liked to tease him for being in love with the sixth-year Ravenclaw - but Jongin didn't really care about that. What bothered him was that no one took him and his feelings seriously. He had been in love with Kyungsoo for years, and had not shown any interest in anyone else at all, but still nobody even gave a shit about his feelings and it kind of hurt. And Kyungsoo not even looking at him - even though Jongin has been watching him for hours every Monday in a very obvious manner for years - had hurt him even more.
“You know I'm here, right?” Jongin asked leaning forward and Kyungsoo looked up from his book for just a second.
“Yes.”
“And you also know why I'm here, right?” Jongin was really wondering about what kind of answer he was gonna get because as obvious as he was being about his feelings, he had never actually told Kyungsoo how he felt about him. This was because, as said, he thought that based on how he always asked him out on a date at least once a week just to get rejected over and over again it wasn't that hard to guess.
“To annoy me?” and this time Kyungsoo looked up at him for a bit longer, his eyes on Jongin when he answered.
“No. To spend time with you. And ask you out.”
“Why bother? You know my answer.”
“Well, I don't give up that easily.”
“You should,” Kyungsoo said exhaling loudly and Jongin felt his heart hurting at the annoyance in the boy's voice “I'm not interested.”
“Why not,” Jongin started, trying to keep his tone normal despite wanting to shout out desperately “You don't know me. Maybe you'd like me, just give me a chance. Or am I not your type?”
“You're not my type,” Kyungsoo said nonchalantly while searching for a specific page in his book before looking up at a speechless Jongin again “if that will keep you away from me then yes, you're not my type.”
“What's that supposed to mean. I am so your type!”
“I don't have a type. I'm just not interested at all.”
“Why?” Jongin almost shouted and didn't expect Kyungsoo to shut his book with a loud bang, looking up at him with anger seething in his eyes.
“Just because!” he said in a dangerous tone and stood up, starting to put his stuff back in his bag “I let you watch me up until now because you didn't really bother me, but if you're going to be so annoying in the future I won't come here anymore. Just give up. Get yourself some other boyfriend. For the last time, I am not interested!”
A few people had looked up from their books and at the two of them but before Madame Pince could even get to them to scold them for being so loud, Kyungsoo had gotten his stuff and walked away, leaving Jongin behind with a mixture of sadness and fury running through his veins.
Nobody cared about how he felt. Nobody took him seriously, not even Kyungsoo who was the source of his worries and broken heart.
“Not interested?” Jongin whispered to himself, fisting the little potions bottle in a tight hold “Well, let's change that!”
But how was he going to slip Kyungsoo the potion without anyone noticing? Jongin had spent days coming up with an answer to that question. In the end, he would need some help after all.
“No,” Luhan said firmly, biting into a piece of pancake “I like Kyungsoo and Kyungsoo likes me. And I don't want that to change so I won't help you poison him.”
“It's not poison! It's just a harmless love potion. Please, Luhan! You're a Gryffindor, show some bravery” Jongin started begging, whipping the fork out of Luhan's fingers and taking his hand into his ”You have the Ancient Runes class with him later, don't you? Just pour it into his water when he's not looking,” he pulled the small bottle with the purple liquid from his pants-pocket and put it in Luhan's hand, closing his fingers around them “I'll do whatever you want me to if you help me. Please, just this once!”
Luhan looked at Jongin troubled and then at the bottle in his hands.
“You're also a Gryffindor...” the older boy said, trying to find a way out of this but just from those softly mouthed words, Jongin already knew that he didn't have to do much more convincing. “He'll beat me up if he finds out.”
“But I don't have any classes with him! He's not in my year. Please, Luhan. He won't find out! In case he does, I'll tell him that I gave it to him. Please, Luhan, I just can't stand it anymore, being the only one in love. Just for a few days I'd like him to like me back. Maybe after that I can finally move on.” And with those words, Jongin knew that he had him. Luhan sighed and then nodded, taking the bottle and letting it disappear in his robe before looking at a smiling Jongin.
“You owe me one!”
Luhan had nodded at him at dinner that evening, showing him a thumbs up before smiling and then turning to Minseok again. Jongin had literally felt his heart jump in his chest at that moment.
Just the thought that Kyungsoo was going to be in love with him made him want to scream out in joy but at the same time he also wanted to laugh at Kyungsoo's face because even if he did like him a lot - let's be real, he loved the boy - he was kind of angry at him for having been that cold to him in the library on Monday.
Jongin took as sip of his juice and then looked over at the Ravenclaw table, searching for Kyungsoo. It only took him a second to find the boy staring right back at him. Jongin's eyes opened wide at the sight. Kyungsoo was basically not touching his food, just staring back at Jongin and not even looking away when Jongin was obviously looking right back at him, and even though he was hella uncomfortable Jongin didn't turn his head because he wanted to witness it. Witness Kyungsoo realizing his feelings for him and then panic and storm out of the Great Hall, leaving Jongin something to dream about at night. But to his disappointment, before any of that could happen, Joonmyeon sat down next to Kyungsoo, distracting him so their eyes unlocked and Jongin sighed.
It didn't matter though, because Jongin was going to have seven days to witness all of the different faces of Do Kyungsoo who'd finally like him back and not care shit about him. He'd have seven wonderful days and no, Jongin was not going to think about what was going to happen after that because that wasn't even important at all. All that counted were those next seven days and Jongin would be sure to make use of them and at least get fucking laid by the boy of his wet dreams!
It was not a Monday but because Jongin hadn't seen Kyungsoo since yesterday's dinner and he just couldn't wait until lunch any longer, Jongin decided to skip one of his less important Muggle Studies classes to find his crush, trying his luck in the Hogwarts' library first, since that was where Kyungsoo spent most of his free time. He was glad to see him there, seated at the same place as always, right next to the potions shelves on the other side of the entrance.
Jongin was grinning as he sat down in front of Kyungsoo. He had no idea what kind of reaction to expect but he was looking forward to anything that was about to come. Having tried to imagine what kind in-love type Kyungsoo was, he had come to no certain result.
“Kyungsoo,” so he started, watching the boy look up at him immediately. And differently than usual, Kyungsoo did not immediately look down again. He also didn't say anything back, though, just watching Jongin for a few seconds, eyes gliding over the whole of his face, like he was really seeing the Gryffindor for the first time. Jongin had no idea what to do or say with this unexpected outcome, so he settled for: “So... how are you?”
“As always,” Kyungsoo started but before Jongin could even say something he continued with a crease having appeared between his eyebrows “I guess” all the while still looking at him.
“That's good to hear,” Jongin answered and even though Kyungsoo was acting really strange, staring at him like that, he really wanted to smile because this was proof that the potion had worked and he had never really gotten that much attention from the boy before except for the time in Elementary School when he had been beaten into a pretty bad shape by him.
But judging from just this first encounter after the taking of the love potion, it was obvious that it had worked. Kyungsoo was in love with him - although, Jongin would have loved a little bit more of a “affectionate” reaction, but whatever, you can't always get what you want.
“Listen,” Jongin started then, a sweet smile on his lips as he found Kyungsoo unusually attentive to his words. “Are you gonna be done here soon? If yes, we could spend some time together, maybe?”
His heart made a loud thud at the expectation of Kyungsoo actually saying yes to his proposal, but then the saw the weird look on the boys face, something between annoyance and confusion, “Jongin,” Kyungsoo started and the Gryffinor was a bit surprised at the tone of his voice “What did I tell you last time? I am not interested and I'll never be.”
It took the taller boy a while to digest those words because first of all, he just didn't get how Kyungsoo had been able to say them and also... did Kyungsoo just reject him like usual?
“What...why?”, Jongin said, mouthing his thoughts at the unexpected answer and feeling more confused than hurt. “Don't you....like me?”
“I don't like you,” Kyungsoo answered immediately and Jongin would have believed those words if he didn't know better. “I'm not interested in you, at all.” And that's when Jongin got it.
The potion had worked. Kyungsoo was interested in him. He did like him. He just didn't want to admit it for some weird fucked-up reason.
No idea if he should be angry, confused or sad, Jongin was searching for the right words while Kyungsoo was staring at him, waiting for an answer or probably just trying to convince himself that Jongin had taken those ridiculous words off his shoulders.
“Have you... ever been in love?”, Jongin then asked and he knew that this kind of question probably didn't make any sense to Kyungsoo but it was interesting to see the boy's face twich into an expression that looked almost embarrassed.
“I haven't. So what?” but there his usual disinterest was back and Jongin wanted to sigh.
The potion had worked but nothing had really changed. The problem had never been Kyungsoo not being in love with him. The problem was that Kyungsoo didn't want to be in love. With anyone apparently.
“So why don't we change that?” Not that much hadn't already changed, but it was Kyungsoo's attitude that was standing between them now and if Jongin didn't manage to do something about that, he was gonna scream and cry like a little baby “I could make you fall in love with me?” Jongin said with a smile on his face and he felt like an idiot because he just wanted to flip his shit but here he was, pretending to be flirty, and Kyungsoo would reject him anyway, so what was he even trying to do here.
“Why would I want that?” Kyungsoo asked back, almost too serious.
“Because being in love is fun?”
“Oh is it? Has it been fun for you?” Kyungsoo asked, one eyebrow pulled up.
“What?”
“Has it been fun for you? Being in love with me for years without getting anything back in return?”
Jongin's heart probably shouldn't have hurt as much at those words, but it did. Just the though about having been in love on his own for such a long time and remembering how he had cried himself to sleep about those hopeless feelings not going away. And here Kyungsoo was, basically using it against him.
Being in love had only sucked for him.
“It will be fun when you start liking me back,” Jongin said, though, despite the slight doubt in his heart.
No, he was not going to cry about this. He was a man. He was a Gryffindor. He hadn't payed two gallons for nothing. There was no way Jongin was going to chicken out now just because Kyungsoo's words kind of made sense. Right now, he had Kyungsoo's heart at a place where he'd never have it again and he was going to make use of that. It had always been obvious that this was going to have a very sad ending for Jongin anyway, so he might as well get out of this as much as possible.
“I'm still not interested,” Kyungsoo said.
“You are not interested in having fun?” Jongin answered flirty, making obvious attempts but he really just wanted to scream because if this potion didn't work than nothing ever would.
“That's right, I'm not!” and it was with those words that Kyungsoo stood up, looking at Jongin for one more weirdly long moment before leaving Jongin behind again, just like the last time the two of them had been in the library together.
There had been very few moments in Jongin's life when he had felt that helpless. He felt pranked and like an idiot because the potion didn't change a person's personality and he should have seen this coming. Kyungsoo was not someone to lose his mind over being in love. He wasn't someone who'd act just based on feelings, of course Kyungsoo would wonder why he was feeling that way all of a sudden and not jump into anything that didn't really make any sense. At this point, Jongin wasn't even sure if Kyungsoo wouldn't just see through all of this and get that he had given him a potion. Kyungsoo wasn't stupid. He was in love with Jongin, thanks to the potion, but he wasn't stupid.
“Shit,” Jongin whispered, already regretting haven given Kyungsoo the potion.
It was day two and Jongin was still unsure of whether to abandon project 'make-sure-to-get-laid-while-Kyungsoo-is-under-the-influence-of-the-love-potion' or try his luck again. He had spent the night thinking about how he would be able to get Kyungsoo to act on his feelings and had made the horrible realization that he had never seen Kyungsoo express any kind of emotion that came somewhere close to actually being in love or interested in that way in another person. Kyungsoo was reserved, Kyungsoo didn't share his inner thoughts with other people, and most importantly - Kyungsoo didn't trust anyone and seven days were not enough to change that. But Jongin hadn't even planned to have a serious relationship with Kyungsoo in those few days together. He'd known that seven days were not enough. His goal had been to get laid and Jongin was still in the progress of thinking about whether Kyungsoo might actually go along with that in the case he were to ask him directly. He could get beaten up, but on the other hand Kyungsoo was a 17-year-old teenager, and even if Kyungsoo didn't care about being in love or in a relationship he should care about sex... shouldn't he?
“Kyungsoo has a dick, right?” Jongin asked and Minseok literally spat out his pumpkin juice right over his plate of food.
“What?!” he asked confused, looking at Jongin like he had just grown two heads.
“I mean,” Jongin started, still in deep thoughts “I'm pretty sure he's a virgin. He never had a girlfriend or a boyfriend and he doesn't seem like the type to just have sex with anyone. But why is he not interested in sex at all? He's a guy, isn't he?”
“Believe it or not,” Luhan started with an amused smile on his face, passing Minseok a napkin, “Not everyone thinks about sex 24/7.”
“But shouldn't he? We are at that age after all...” Jongin questioned seriously when he thought of something “Or maybe he does think about it and the reason for him always being in such a bad mood is because he doesn't get any.”
“Kyungsoo has been like this since I can remember,” Luhan said sitting down next to Jongin.
“Has been like what?”, Kyungsoo asked and grabbing a piece of bread while looking at Jongin, even though the question had clearly been directed at Luhan.
“Nothing,” Luhan said quickly but Kyungsoo didn't seem very satisfied with that answer and moved his eyes to look at Luhan, making him nervous.
“You've always been... kind of grumpy,” Luhan started and continued nervously when he saw Kyungsoo pulling up an eyebrow in interest “Which is a good thing! Grumpy people are very nice!” and if this hadn't been such an important matter for Jongin he'd probably laughed, like Minseok was, silently into his napkin.
“We were talking about sex, actually”, Jongin stated, deciding that seeing what kind of reaction Kyungsoo had to that subject might help him to figure out what to do next “and I just thought that you didn't seem interested in it is all.”
“Well, I have other stuff to worry about. Some people actually care about their education you know,” Kyungsoo started and Jongin was not surprised to see Kyungsoo not even flinch at the subject.
Of course, like everything else, Kyungsoo was looking at this in a very neutral manner which is what he had expected.
“It's just that I'm surprised that you're not curious. You would think that someone who cares so much about chemicals working together would care about the effect sex can have on the human body,” Jongin said, surprised at how smoothly he had managed to come up with that in a manner of seconds and grinning.
He could see Kyungsoo being surprised at those words as well, opening his mouth but not immediately answering, before buttering his piece of bread and obviously thinking about an answer.
Luhan and Minseok seemed surprised at Kyungsoo's sudden silence as well and kept on looking at him while waiting for him to say something.
“You're really not interested? Not at all?” Jongin asked again and feeling a weird sensation in his chest when Kyungsoo looked intensely back at him.
“Well,” he began “it's not a serious concern but I wouldn't say that I don't care at all” His attempt at being nonchalant about the subject didn't go past Jongin who could tell that this was actually a big deal to Kyungsoo since the boy was observing his reaction. Jongin really wanted to grin but he didn't, because he suddenly felt Kyungsoo's eyes on his body looking at him kind of... interested.
“Can't say I'm not surprised to hear that,” Luhan said all of a sudden and Jongin snapped out of his thoughts, Kyungsoo's eyes leaving him in a second. Even though it had only been a split moment of Kyungsoo's eyes on Jongin's body, Jongin felt like he was going crazy because oh my god, Kyungsoo had been checking him out. He had just been thinking about sex... with Jongin.
“Why did you actually think that Kyungsoo didn't care at all?” Minseok asked surprised and it was obvious that neither of the other two Gryffindors had noticed the little moment between Jongin and Kyungsoo “Everyone cares about sex, even if they don't talk about it.”
Jongin would have probably used this chance to find out a bit more about Kyungsoo's sex life if it hadn't been for a very confused Joonmyeon sitting down next to Kyungsoo and looking at him in interest.
“You're eating at the Gryffindor table?”
“They were talking about me and I thought why not join them,” Kyungsoo answered, biting into his bread and not meeting Jongin's eyes anymore, which was obviously intentionally.
“Oh,” Joonmyeon started and was about to say more when Jongin felt someone sling his arm around his shoulder and sit down next to him.
“Yo,” Sehun said, looking over at Kyungsoo with a grin and Jongin was glad that Kyungsoo didn't notice because it was pretty fricking obvious that Sehun's gaze meant something.
Of course everyone at this table except for the two Ravenclaws knew about Kyungsoo being under the influence of the love potion and Jongin wasn't sure if he liked that.
“Big game tomorrow, you ready?” Sehun asked and Jongin was more than thankful that his best friend had the consideration not to mention anything that could make Kyungsoo realize what was going on “You're gonna destory Hufflepuff, I know it!” the boy said before his Hufflepuff boyfriend Tao poked him in the side, making an annoyed sound.
“You should be on my house's side!”
“You don't even care about Quidditch,” Sehun said confused as to why Tao was suddenly pouting.
“But I care about my house. And you should too, I'm your boyfriend.”
“Well, then,” Sehun said, showing Jongin a gotta-listen-to-your-woman gaze before turning to Tao “I'll be rooting for Hufflepuff! I'm sure they'll win!”
“Oh don't kid yourself, “ Zitao started, grossly shoving a piece of pie in his mouth “Yifan is down with the flu, without him our team is nothing,” Tao explained the obvious and Sehun seemed rather confused but decided to drop the subject and grasp an apple before greeting the other guys at the table.
“Look at this, all of us sitting together at one table, you could think that we were all in the same house,” Luhan said smiling before Sehun snorted in amusement and Minseok just looked back at him, an annoyed smile on his face.
“Typical for a Slytherin,” he said tiredly “Doesn't want to get put together with the other houses.”
“That's not why I snorted,” Sehun answered “Tao just tried to shove his hand down my pants and hit his hand against the table hard.”
“What did I say about not everyone caring about sex? Let me take that back,” Luhan said laughing.
“You could think that Tao was still under the influence of that potion,” Minseok started amused and Jongin already felt something bad twist in his stomach “Not even being able to control himself in the presence of a bunch of other guys, and all.”
“I was never under the influence of any potion,” Tao explained annoyed “They didn't even give it to me, remember? Sold it to someone else” and Jongin just wanted to shush them quiet because everybody knew the story about how Sehun and Zitao had become a couple anyway. Slytherin's Baekhyun had wanted to help his friend Sehun and had pretended to give Zitao a love potion for him so Sehun would finally get the balls to approach him since he had been in love with him for years. In the end, everything had turned out just fine for the two of them and the love potion Kyungsoo had spent hours on brewing had ended up in Jongdae's hands who had then sold it to Jongin who had then again used it on Kyungsoo. The whole story was kind of ironic if you thought about it. But even though everybody knew that story - except for the last part which only a few selected people knew about - Jongin was feeling a panic attack rising up in his body because just bringing the subject up in front of Kyungsoo was extremely risky because, as mentioned before, Kyungsoo was pretty fucking clever and it wouldn't be that hard for him - the brewer of the potion! - to figure out that he had been the one to end up taking it. But shit, Jongin felt like it was already too late anyway, because all of a sudden Kyungsoo was looking at him in a very confused and wide-eyed manner and for a second Jongin thought that Kyungsoo had figured it out for sure.
The optimist in Jongin was talking when he came up with the tought that yes, Kyungsoo was clever, but why would he think that of all people Jongdae had sold the potion to him. That would be a kind of a far-fetched idea, wouldn't it?
“What's wrong?” Joonmyeon suddenly asked while Tao and Minseok were still arguing over the potion incident “You look shocked. You ok?” he said to Kyungsoo and Jongin could see the Ravenclaw still looking at him from the corner of his eye.
“It's nothing,” the boy answered and wrapped his hand around his glass of juice “I'm fine” all the while still looking at Jongin. The Gryffinor wished from the bottom of his heart that it was because he was still having those sexy feelings for him and not because he had just figured everything out.
The potion was his last chance after all.
It was an important game against Hufflepuff and Jongin was at his best. Physically, that is. Mentally, he was prepared to jump off of his broom and to his certain death just so he could avoid thinking more about Kyungsoo and the possibility that the boy had found out about the potion. And also to avoid the huge doe-like eyes that were staring at him from the Ravenclaw seats, not having left him for a second since the game had started and Jongin had basically been flying circles around the field in a half-assed attempt looking out for the snitch.
He had to concentrate! This was an important match and whether Kyungsoo was looking at him because he was mad at him for having been given a love potion or because he was still thinking about their conversation from yesterday and staring at him with the thoughts of sex shouldn't be of any matter at this moment. His thoughts should be about Quidditch, and Quidditch had always been the one thing Kyungsoo and Jongin's die-hard feelings for him hadn't had any influence on. Jongin didn't want this to change, ever. So he got himself together, turned his back to the Ravenclaw and put his whole concentration on finding the small golden ball.
It was only a few minutes later, that the snitch passed by him in unbelievable speed just to shot towards the ground and Jongin dove down with it, eyes fixed on the ball and the Gryffindors cheering and screaming in excitement. The snitch flew up and down and up and down and up again and when Jongin held out his spread-apart fingers to snatch the golden ball in his hand he was crashed into from the side by the Hufflepuff's seeker, moaning out in disappointment at the loss of the opportunity to win the game. Quickly flying forward, he caught up with the other seeker and the snitch and after minutes of pushing into each other from the sides exhaustingly their fingers cramping at the tension in them, Jongin decided that he would end this game now. They were only a few meters above the ground when Jongin made a jump for it, off of his broom, both hands grasping the snitch tightly between his fingers before he was falling down too fast for anything to cushion the collision with the ground. His left shoulder hurt like a bitch and he was about to pass out from the pain when he held his hands high, opening them to show the snitch to the crowd as half of them broke out in loud cheers. And for a very short moment, Jongin couldn't help but look over at where Kyungsoo was seated just to see that the boy was leaning over, still staring at him, mouth opened speechless, and if Jongin hadn't known better he'd have thought that Kyungsoo was actually shocked to see him lying there in pain, and he probably really was, but it was the potion that made him feel that way and more than Jongin's shoulder his heart hurt at that thought. Nevertheless, Jongin smiled at him, a wide-mouthed smile before two of his team-mates finally reached him to lift him up and carry him out of the field.
Jongin was passed a quick pain-relief potion as he was brough to the hospital wing, holding on to his dislocated shoulder with one hand.
Gryffinor had just won one of the most important matches of the year but Jongin didn't feel as excited as he should have. Yes, he was glad and proud of himself but the smiling faces of Luhan and Minseok - their team's beater - as they accompanied him to Madam Pomfrey couldn't quite make him feel any better about the situation.
After having a few spells cast on his shoulder and Madam Pomfrey checking the movements of his arm, he was released again, sighing at the though of having to go back to a house that was probably in a party-mood and would welcome him with cheers and screams when Jongin really just wanted to lie down and sleep, even though it was in the middle of the day and he'd better get his homework done so he would have the whole of tomorrow to spend in Hogsmeade. His thoughts were cut short, though, by the sight of Kyungsoo standing awkwardly in front of the stairs that led to the Gryffindor dormitory.
The boy was looking at him, first at his face and then at his arm and Jongin wanted to laugh because it was so obvious that the boy had come to check on him but there he was still looking at him with so much disinterest in his eyes, like that was the only expression he could ever make.
“Hey,” Jongin said and he didn't even have to say anything to Luhan and Minseok for them to read the situation and scram, leaving the two of them alone in the pretty much empty hallway.
“Congratulations,” Kyungsoo said, sounding earnest despite the lack of interest in his gaze.
“Thank you.” Jongin was waiting for Kyungsoo to say more but after a few seconds of silence he figured that the boy hadn't even thought about trying to hide his intentions “My arm is ok by the way.”
“I didn't ask,” Kyungsoo answered immediately and Jongin smiled tiredly.
“But that's why you're here, right? You were worried.” Jongin stated matter-of-factly and could see something weird flicker in Kyungsoo's eyes for just a moment. Similar to the way he had looked at him two days ago and said that he wasn't interested in him, even though he had obviously already been.
“I was just passing by.”
“Of course you were,” and the sarcasm in his voice was pretty obvious but then Jongin saw Kyungsoo sigh like he didn't even care anymore, not turning around to leave either, though.
All Jongin wanted was to rest and being confronted with Kyungsoo at that moment made him even more tired because he just couldn't get what was going on in the boy's head, and at that moment he realized he probably never would and doing any more guessing and thinking when the answer would never be certain was useless.
“You going to Hogsmaede tomorrow?” Jongin asked even though he knew that Kyungsoo was because basically everyone was going and despite Kyungsoo being a really down-to-earth person, Jongin knew that the boy had an unhealthy obsession with butterbear because he had watched him drink at least four cups on every single trip to Hogsmaede.
“Yes, why?”
“We could go together. In case you're interested.”
“I'm not, though,” he shot out like a pistol and Jongin probably shouldn't have laughed at that but he did anyway because how fricking stupid was he even.
Kyungsoo was impossible to get close to and Jongin just couldn't take it anymore.
He would give up.
Now.
“Ok, then. Have fun,” he said sincere, a smile on his face that was very hard to maintain, as he turned around and didn't even catch Kyungsoo looking at him in surprise before doing so.
“Wait,” Kyungsoo called after Jongin had already crossed half the stairs, making a few steps towards Jongin himself and having the younger boy stare at him in a strange kind of anticipation.
Kyungsoo didn't say anything, though and Jongin didn't know what that meant. If he didn't know Kyungsoo any better he'd think that he wanted to go with him after all... but that wasn't possible right? Especially not if he'd really found out about the potion. This would be a reason for Kyungsoo to beat him up again and not go on a date with him.
“Well, I'll be at the entrance after breakfast tomorrow. Maybe we'll see each other there,” Jongin decided to say because it was the perfect way to find out how much Kyungsoo really knew and somehow he had a feeling that even if Kyungsoo wanted to go with him, he wouldn't be able to bring himself to say that. “when you coincidentally pass by again,” he added and then something happened that almost made Jongin open his eyes wide in shock.
One of the corners of Kyungsoo's mouth was twiching up in annoyed amusement at the obvious sarcasm in Jongin's statement once more.
Was that a good or a bad sign, Jongin had no idea but he had never seen Kyungsoo make that kind of face before.
“Yeah, we'll see about that,” the boy answered almost grinning in amusement when he turned around, shooting Jongin one more intense look before turning around and leaving.
And once again, Jongin was left behind feeling like a very confused idiot because of fricking Do Kyungsoo.
Kyungsoo was already there, waiting for him while leaning against a wall and somehow Jongin wasn't surprised. He approached him with a huge grin on his face just to see the boy looking back at him the same way he always did.
“You came,” Jongin said excited and what Kyungsoo gave him wasn't even a nod but just a twitch of the head as they started walking out of the castle together, next to each other in silence.
Jongin couldn't quite believe his luck and he knew that he was staring at the Ravenclaw but he didn't fricking care because this is what he had wanted for years. Walking with Kyungsoo like this. Next to each other. For everyone to see.
“Aren't you going to say anything?“ Kyungsoo suddenly asked, looking up at Jongin. “You seem like the really talkative type.”
“I am, actually. But you aren't so I don't want to annoy you on our first date,” and Jongin could hear Kyungsoo snort at the word date and when he expected the older boy to tell him that this wasn't a date at all, he was almost shocked that he didn't.
“It's ok if you want to talk. If you're annoying me, I'll tell you.”
“Oh, I believe you,” Jongin answered laughing and then decided that he was going to take Kyungsoo by his words and started talking.
They didn't really have any specific topic at first, just going back and forth between school stuff, teachers and how much they enjoyed spending time in Hogsmaede and Jongin found himself surprised at how easily Kyungsoo answered and kept the conversation alive. It's not like Kyungsoo was an especially quiet person but Jongin had nevertheless not thought that he'd have it that easy.
By the time they arrived at the Three Broom Sticks they had started talking about their families and Jongin only really realized than that he really didn't know anything about the boy he's been in love with for many many years. For example, he didn't know that Kyungsoo had an older brother. He didn't know that his family lived in the muggle world. He didn't know that Joonmyeon was apparently Kyungsoo's best friend and they had grown up being neighbours, but most important he didn't know that Kyungsoo knew so much about him.
“So I guess your father is really proud of you? Since his son is as just a great seeker as himself?” he was really surprised to hear that because basically nobody knew that his father had played for the Heidelberg Harriers years ago. It's not that Jongin was ashamed of him, quite the contrary, he loved his father and looked up to him, but he had never really told anybody about being his son because he didn't want all the attention... or more like, any more attention than he already had, because Jongin was really good-looking and yea, people knew him for that.
“How do you know about my father,” Jongin asked surprised and Kyungsoo looked almost confused as he put down his already second cup of butterbeer after the two of them had sat down in the corner of the bar.
“He always picked you up from elementary school back then,” Kyungoo started “Also, you look a lot like him. Especially when you laugh.”
“Wow,” Jongin said. He really had had no idea that Kyungsoo knew that much about him. Maybe he hadn't been as disinterested as he always said. “You payed attention, didn't you?” Jongin said, feeling touched and warm in his heart and he could see that Kyungsoo hadn't realized that he had basically just told him that.
“I'm an observer, that's all.”
“Is that so?” Jongin asked and this time didn't even try to sound sarcastic because he could feel that Kyungsoo was uncomfortable and didn't want to make it worse. Either way, he was happy. “And to your question. Yes, my dad is proud of me. Very much so. My mum though, yelled at me for an hour yesterday after I told her about how I won,” Jongin said, nervously laughing “She says that it's stupid of me to risk my life for just some silly game.”
“I don't think it's stupid,” Kyungsoo answered, biting into a piece of pastry before continuing “You're just incredibly passionate about something. I think that's a wonderful trait to have.”
And Kyungsoo had no idea what those words meant to Jongin at all. He was mindlessly continuing to chew on his bread when Jongin felt his heart warming and for a few seconds he was seriously considering to just lean over and kiss the boy on the lips.
It was sad, but Jongin seriously couldn't remember the last time someone had made given him such a sincere compliment. And it coming from Kyungsoo made it even more meaningful.
“Thank you,” Jongin said, a lovely smile on his face and only when Kyungsoo looked back in his eyes, did the boy notice what his compliment had done to Jongin. He looked back at him, confused and almost embarrassed for only a second before swallowing hard.
After that they drank some more butterbeer before Jongin accompanied Kyungsoo the the local potions store to buy some more small corked-bottles before it was time to go back already and they had to go back making their way to the castle while talking some more about Quidditch and finding out that Kyungsoo was actually a fan of the same team.
“Thanks for coming with me today,” Jongin said when they had unfortunately made it back to the castle way too soon after spending a few wonderful hours together. They were now standing in the corridor where they had to separate to get to their houses.
“No problem,” Kyungsoo answered, looking up at Jongin somehow intensely. It was obvious that Kyungsoo was in love with him and somehow finally being the one to be looked at like that felt wonderful and it would have felt even better if it hadn't been for the potion. Jongin was now pretty sure that Kyungsoo despite his weird reaction in the Great Hall yesterday, didn't know about the potion. If he had, he would have beaten Jongin to a bloody pulp and not decided to spend the whole day with him, giving him compliments and even treating him to that last mug of butterbeer. With this date, Jongin had somehow forgotten that he'd really only planned to shag Kyungsoo because what he had gotten today was so much more than he had ever thought. He may not have gotten the Ravenclaw to give him his body but he had had a little bit of insight into his heart and as horny of a teenager Jongin was, he couldn't imagine anything better. This was one of the happiest moments he's had in like ever.
“Can I ask you something, though?” Jongin asked and continued when he saw Kyungsoo nod “Why did you decide to give me a chance after all?”
Jongin felt like he was supposed to know that answer because Kyungsoo was looking at him like he had asked a strange question. But no, Jongin really didn't know. The potion alone wouldn't make Kyungsoo do that. His character was still the same and one of his few character traits was that he wasn't interested in strangers and also that he had no intention of getting into an new kind of deep relationship. So why had he accepted this offer? Was it after all because of their conversation yesterday and Kyungsoo had become interested in a sexual relationship? Jongin somehow highly doubted that.
“Well, you seemed rather...” and Kyungsoo was apparently searching for the right word when Jongin tried to guess it.
“Sincere?” he asked and Kyungsoo looked at him nodding.
“That and desperate. Rather desperate.”
“Well, as bad as that sounds, I can't say that it's not true,” after all he had to resort to using a ridiculous love potion. “But was it ok? I mean... not too sound to strange, but was I really as bad as you always thought I was?” he begged to the lords that Kyungsoo wasn't going to say yes because that would have probably been the only thing able to ruin this wonderful day for him.
“I never thought that you were a bad person or something,” Kyungsoo started and it was so obvious that he was kind of uncomfortable talking about this whole sicnere-feelings shit “I just-”
“Don't like people getting close to you?” Jongin asked because he knew that this was it and Kyungsoo would not have been able to say it like that because maybe he didn't even realize his problem himself.
The shorter boy didn't say anything to that, just looking at Jongin and then at his feet and that was enough of an answer for Jongin.
“Again, thanks for giving me a chance, “Jongin said, smiling sincerely and catching Kyungsoo's eyes in his again “and this might be too much and maybe I'll get hit but I really don't care, so,” and that was the moment Jongin decided to not give any more shits and leaned forward, hands not even reaching out, when he kissed Kyungsoo on the lips. A kiss that was soft but hard at the same time and only lasted for a few short seconds, but in those seconds Kyungsoo didn't push him away and when Jongin moved back, feeling his lips burning like fire at the new sensation, he could see Kyungsoo staring back into his eyes, confused. Not disgusted or angry. Just really really confused.
“You're not going to hit me?” Jongin asked kind of nervous but Kyungsoo didn't say nor do anything so Jongin leaned forward again, without thinking, this time holding Kyungsoo's neck with one hand and pressing their lips together harder before opening his mouth and oh god, Kyungsoo was kissing him back. He felt Kyungsoo's tongue againt his, hot and wet and he wanted to get closer and hug the boy while kissing him more, but before he could do that, Kyungsoo stepped back, their lips separating and Jongin almost felt cold at the sudden empty feeling on his mouth.
“That's not a good idea,” Kyungsoo just said and Jongin wanted to ask him why but the boy wasn't even looking at him. “I need to go so...” he then said, looking up at Jongin, seeming really serious all of a sudden.
“Go where?”, Jongin asked confused and disappointed because was this Kyungsoo rejecting him again or was he just to overwhelmed and didn't quite know what to do with his feelings which would be ok because Jongin didn't either.
“The library,” Kyungsoo answered, though and Jongin had no idea where this was suddenly coming from.
“Can I come with you?”
“No,” Kyungsoo said strongly but he didn't seem to be in such a hurry anymore, looking up at Jongin. “I'll see you at breakfast.” He said and all of a sudden all the negative thoughts were blown out of Jongin's head and all he could think about was going to sleep and waking up fast so he could see Kyungsoo again at breakfast and maybe he would let him kiss him again. Maybe giving Kyungsoo the potion hadn't been such a bad idea after all.
“Ok. Breakfast,” Jongin agreed before he grinned like a confused idiot, watching Kyungsoo turn around hesitatingly and leaving for the library.
Kyungsoo looked incredibly tired the next morning and Jongin had the feeling that it had either something to do with him not getting enough sleep because he'd been thinking too much about their kiss or he'd spent half the night in the library, for whatever reason. It turned out it was the second option when Kyungsoo collapsed in the seat in front of him at the Gryffindor table and Jongin couldn't help asking.
“Did you at least find what you were looking for?” Jongin asked worried and maybe it was wrong of him to feel that way but he wanted to hug Kyungsoo and pat his back while telling him that it was alright to take the day off and go to sleep again. He already felt like his boyfriend even though they'd only kissed once - or twice - and Kyungsoo was still not acting all that different around him. But just the fact that the boy had not forgotten about his promise yesterday and was now sitting in front of him was already a sign that something huge had changed. And Jongin really wanted to think that the potion didn't have anything to do with it.
“Yeah,” the boy answered yawning and holding out the his hand, pointing at the pumpkin juice so Jongin would pass it to him.
“That's good. Do you want to do something today after classes?”
“Don't you have Quidditch training?” Kyungsoo asked half-heartedly and Jongin was again surprised that he knew about that.
“No, it got cancelled because we won the last game and Madame Hooch said we deserved a free afternoon.”
“I see,” Kyungsoo answered, looking at Jongin and seeing him smile “but I can't. Kinda busy.”
“Oh, with what?”, Jongin wanted to know because maybe he'd be able to accompany him anyway. “Can I come?”
“It'd be boring for you, just some potions stuff,” the boy answered after showing half a piece of bread in his mouth and pulling out a huge old book from his bag, searching for a specific page. “I'll be really busy for the next three days.”
“Three days?” Jongin asked fearing the worst. They only had three days left, what was he going to do if Kyungsoo was not gonna spend that time with him? “You can't, though.”
“I have to. It's important,” Kyungsoo answered and he didn't even seem surprised about Jongin's anxious answer. “You'll see afterwards.”
“I don't think I will,” because after all Kyungsoo was going to forget. He was going to forget everything including this conversation.
No, Jongin couldn't let him have those three days.
He was about to tell him that but then Kyungsoo sighed, putting down his mug and looking at Jongin understanding “I really have to do this. But if you really can't bear to be separated from me for a few days” and if Jongin didn't know Kyungsoo's personality he'd have thought that he'd said those words to tease him, but no, Kyungsoo was dead serious “You can tag along. I'm telling you though, you'll be bored.”
“I'm sure I won't,” Jongin said with a huge grin on his face. “Thank you.” And for a moment Jongin could have sworn that Kyungsoo was smiling back at him, understanding in his eyes, but the gaze was gone too fast to make sure.
Kyungoo was in love with him and he was being so obvious about it that sometimes Jongin thought he was facing a different person. Not a person he disliked though, no, a person he could hug and kiss and smile at and even if Kyungsoo was busy and would glare at him from time to time if Jongin couldn't keep his fingers off of him and ended up back-hugging him every few minutes - because watching Kyungsoo brew his potion and concentrating hard was the sexiest thing he had ever seen in his life, - he was as happy as he'd never been before and no he was not thinking about how everything would change in a few days.
Jongin was an optimist. Jongin loved Kyungsoo and Kyungsoo loved him and that was all that counted for now. He'd have to see what happened in two days and then decide if he was going to panic and cry about losing his baby boy - a secret nickname he had for Kyungsoo which he'd surely never address him with since Kyungsoo could hit really hard and Jongin preferred to be treated with love and care instead of fear and punishment - or look back on this one week of happiness with a smile on his face.
Sometimes he woke up in the middle of the night, the thoughts of everything going back to the way it was before Kyungsoo had been in love with him, and he'd feel something very very bad and uncomfortable in his chest, but then he'd press his hand down on the patch of skin right above his heart, close his eyes and think about how Kyungsoo's plump lips felt on his and all he could do was smile and do his best to fall asleep again so he could run to the great hall the next morning and haul Kyungsoo over his lab, kissing him senseless and having his friends watch in disgust and not at all caring. Well, that's what he had done on day four and afterwards, Kyungsoo had glared at him embarrassed and squeezed his hand tight under the table but it had all been worth it and somehow the strong touch which had apparently been supposed to be a punishment had send shivers down his back right to his crotch, and the moment Kyungsoo had looked down between them under the table and seen the small tent that was building up in Jongin's pants, he had gasped in shock and pulled his hand away, not daring to look at Jongin again. Jongin had laughed so much that morning, Luhan had watched him in confusion, tapping his forehead at Minseok who'd only nodded in agreement.
“You know,” Kyungsoo suddenly said with Jongin pressed against his back while adding some ingredients to his potion, carefully measuring them beforehand “Are you not going to ask me what I'm brewing? This is your second day here and it doesn't seem like you care much.”
“Because I don't,” Jongin answered truthfully, pressing his face in the nape of Kyungsoo's neck, a light kiss scratched under his earlobe, making the smaller guy pull his shoulders up at the sensation, and Jongin really couldn't believe that he was allowed to do this “In this world there is nothing I care less about than potions, Kyungsoo.”
“Really,” the boy answered, sounding surprised even though Jongin thought he had made it pretty obvious that all he cared about was basically him and Quidditch “Potions can be really helpful sometimes.”
“Oh, I know,” Jongin whispered not knowing if he should be grinning mischievously or panic at the possibility of being exposed “They really really are,” he said, pressing another kiss to Kyungsoo's neck, this time sucking at the skin for a moment before letting go with his lips to slide the tip of his tongue over it. Kyungsoo gasped at the feeling, leaning his head back to one side so Jongin could reach his neck better. “Like that?”
“Mhm,” Kyungsoo just breathed and Jongin could see that his eyes were closed and he had stopped moving his wand-hand, holding on to the side of the table instead to steady himself. “I really need to work, though. This potion can't go wrong.”
“Is it really that important,” Jongin could hear the annoyance in his own voice “Can't it wait for like two more days?”
“No, it can't,” Kyungsoo said and suddenly he opened his eyes again and pushed Jongin away from him a little, rubbing his fingertips over the red spot where Jongin's mouth had been until a few seconds ago. “It's really important.”
Jongin exhilarated loudly, already missing the feeling of Kyungsoo's tiny body pressed against his front, but then he smiled as he felt the boy's eyes on him and leaned back against the table next to the huge cauldron.
“What is it then? The potion I mean?”
“Too late. Won't tell you know,” Kyungsoo said not smiling, his eyes fixed on the potions' book again and starting the circling motion with his wand again. “Why don't you go and sit back down somewhere, or better yet leave all together, you're distracting me.”
“But you like being distracted,” Jongin said grinning and Kyungsoo glared at him. “Don't pretend.”
“I like the way you distract me but not being distracted. Please just sit down and be quiet, or go. This is important,” Kyungsoo sounded really serious so Jongin made a pouty face before getting his bag and wielding it over his shoulder.
“Fine. I will go. When will you be done?”
“Half an hour?”, Kyungsoo guessed while adding another sprinkle of some silver powder. “I'm free afterwards.”
“To continue where we left off?” Jongin asked happily, getting closer to his baby boy again and smiling when he saw Kyungsoo nod trying not to blush “Great. Meet me in the Great Hall?” Kyungsoo nodded again before Jongin pressed a soft kiss to his boyfriend's lips and left, waving his hand like a madman, looking forward to their evening spent together.
Yes, they had had a talk and Kyungsoo had agreed that it was ok to call him his boyfriend.
For now.
part II