I had a bi-lateral mastectomy a few weeks ago and my recovery is frustratingly slow. Kato Walk has been contracted out to freelancers. Frodi happiness is not affected if he doesn’t walk. Kato gets miserable cabin fever if she doesn’t get out every 2-3 days. There are very few people that Kato knows / trusts well enough to be at the other end of the ( Read more... )

I’m afflicted so Kato Walks have been contracted out to freelancers. Frodi likes a walk but can survive without but Kato gets terrible cabin fever.

Yesterday, I ventured outside for a potter round the garden.  A massive sun parasol brolly thing had fallen over our side of the wall from the church next door and was resting on its side. Kato gave the ( Read more... )

Kato was off-lead until I spotted an off-lead Staffordshire Terrorist. The Staffy seemed fully engaged trying to bury his own head.

Dog Law is that both owners put their dogs on lead until diplomacy with full peace treaty has been established. Not shouting “Don’t worry he’s only playing” as the recipient of the “only playing” may not interpret it ( Read more... )

“Stop staring! Putting me off” scowled Kato

“You so funny when you poo” I laughed “You look like a frog-with-rickets”

I carried on walking. Kato caught me up.

“I’ve pooed” she said scraping her paws to clean them.
"Where? Ohhh...Kato!"

Kato smirked in the direction of some vicious brambles and nettles, then sat watching as I delicately bagged up.

“Ow ( Read more... )

We ran out of Kato Incurin tablets aka pissy pants pills. One of the potential side effects of Incurin according to the leaflet is INCREASED ATTRACTIVENESS (leaflet uses caps). Hippy maintains this is not scientifically feasible as the Pretty Sweetness has optimal prettiness. I always thought it meant magnetic attractiveness causing incalculable ( Read more... )

“So” said Frodi “We’re not married after all?”

“Nope” replied Kato

“We’re not Mr and Mrs I-am-Microchipped”

“No, that’s not why it says it on our ID tags”

“We’ve got microchips in our necks” he pondered “Sounds far-fetched to me Katrina”

“That’s what human said”

“So we’re like Stepford Dogs”

“Yep, totally obedient” said Kato “That’s why we’re compelled ( Read more... )

“Dogsky!!” it was KGB cat sat on top of a gate post.

“Yo KG how’s it goin’ my main man cat bredren” said Kato

“Did I see you mewing to Da filth last week?” enquired KGB Cat

“Just helping out with enquiries” said Kato glancing over her shoulder at KGB Cat. Kato can just about cope now with close proximity to KGB Cat but avoids full on eye contact.

“Oh ( Read more... )

Our vets is a specialist for bulldogs. The waiting room sometimes sounds like a Steam Rally event with all the bullies chuffing away.

“Sit” said an owner to his portly looking bully who looked like he needed ironing or at least a few minutes in a trouser press “Sit!”

“How would you even know?” said Kato staring at the bull dogs squat bowed Georgian ( Read more... )

There was a knock at the front door. I looked at Canine (in)Security

“Any danger of a bark?” I enquired

“Oy, sheep bothering amigo” said Kato “It’s your turn”

Frodi stood up but trod on his tennis ball which distracted him.

The door knocked again. Frodi was deeply engrossed pushing his tennis ball around with his nose.

I glared.

Kato stood up, ( Read more... )

The Feds were clip-boarded up doing house-to-house enquiries. A Fed spotted me and gave me a cheery wave.

“Shit” I muttered knowing Kato’s attitude to strangers “Just be nice”

“Can I go off lead?” asked Kato spotting a window of opportunity

“No, because you’ll go in someone’s garage again and embarrass me. Just don’t growl and stuff”

“Stuff?”

“The ( Read more... )