A distressed posh lady in the park said she had lost her poodle puppy near the cricket pavilion. She indicated with her hands something about the size of a CD case.
When Kato was at school they did sniffing retrieve lessons. A hanky was sniffed, hidden and then the dogs went to locate it. In an alternate universe, Kato would deeply inhale the ( Read more... )

Kato walk be like DFS. It’s new sofa season. We passed four discarded sofas. Kato was drawn to a lavish looking plum sofa. Part of its bed mechanism  was sticking through the cushions surrounded by an ominous stain. Death by sofa bed, we’ve all been there. I’ve never been stabbed by our sofa bed but I have nearly been crushed by its “snap in place ( Read more... )

“Right” I said “I’m going to drop this prescription into the doctors and leave you tied up here behind this tree, I’ll be 1 minute tops”

“One whole minute, that’s a lifetime” Kato looked at me, I could see the forlorn realisation in her eyes that I really was about to dessert her.

“You can see me through the window” I said trying to hold back my ( Read more... )

A car was slowly trailing us. I turned and it drove past. It reappeared slowly kerb crawling behind us. ( Read more... )

Me: Just keep up, it’s not even funny

KGB Cat: Oy Dogsky, you chasing us or what?

Kato: Can’t...Ha ha ha ha...oh my days, ha ha ha ha...can’t...I’m dying here...I can’t even...oh my...he he he

KGB Cat: What happened to your human?

Kato: Don’t set me off...ha ha ha ha ha...you know fallen leaves disguising slippery mud on the field...ha ha ha ha...and ( Read more... )

“Just walk past it Kato” I said “It’s not going to do anything to you”

“Just remembered I didn’t wipe my paws properly back on the field” said Kato pulling backwards

“Kato, it cat, you dog. You fearless hunter descended from wolves”

“It cat!” said the cat “It?!”

“Now you’ve offended it” tutted Kato and sat down on the pavement.

“Kato you are at ( Read more... )

On our walk we encounter cats but none of them adhere to cat-dog interaction lore. Whether this is a reflection on Kato I’m not sure. Universally approved dog / cat interface protocol is

(1)Dog Barks- 15 second warning

(2)Dog Does Cartoon manoeuvre of legs spinning around before take-off

(3)Cat Flees to place inaccessible to Dog

(4)Dog Turns Back.

( Read more... )

Kato sniffed the air and glared at Frodi. “You stink” she said “Have you over-rolled or what?”

Frodi had some sort of brown squishy item in his mouth and was covered in brown mush. I inspected from a distance expecting yet another half decayed corpse had been brought in. Kato ignores the wind-fallen pears and apples in the garden but Frodi will ( Read more... )

Spotted Posty leaning on our gate post about to issue a red card.

“Shit!” I said to Kato “Run!” I broke into a semi-canter with Kato reluctantly trotting behind me.

“Don’t!” said Kato “Ohhhh....sooooo embarrassing”

“Woo hoo” I woo-hooed to Posty

“Oh... woo hoo-ing, attracting attention” grumbled Kato “The shame...”

“Morning Usain Bolt” said Posty “Was ( Read more... )

Frodi was working on his difficult second release, Dark Side of the Semi-Digested Pigeon. He still had a feather stuck to his paw giving the impression of a 18th century writer about to compose a sonnet.

Kato was doing sad-dog-is-sad, gently sniffing her lead every time I passed and then glancing at me.

“If you’re bored” I said “Go and hold Frodi’s ( Read more... )