after the panic attack from hell that landed me in the hospital yesterday, i have now been put on valuum. fun. i can't stand being around alot of people right now either. i kinda freak out and get really anxious. i guess this is my punishment for holding everything in.

i don't know what to do anymore. i just want to run far far away from

last night was alot of fun. so glad i went and stopped worrying. woke up limping from dancing so much. i picked the wrong shoes (well they were boots) so go dancing in because they are the boots that go really well with the pants i was wearing. yes i'm limping today because, in my own weird way, i'm a fashion whore ( Read more... )

so last night i decided it was a good idea to take 7 shots and 2 jello shots. today i woke up hungover. i deserved it. i had fun though. very few things beat drunk dancing. and not to mention some very interesting/amusing/embarassing things occured last night. i'm not gonna go into details. i'll just say one thing: no door at scripps should be ( Read more... )

last night i decided to get trashed. and holy shit did i ever. to begin the night i came back to my room from work only to take 4 shots and put some vodka into my coke. then i went to a cocktail party over at scripps. more drinking. then we all headed down to the hip-hop concert. karina and i were dancing all goofy. katy and i did our usual dance ( Read more... )

breakdown. didn't go to work. haven't left the bed. scared.

i quit.

last night was crazy. i got really drunk with the girls and then we drove (yes, drove. it was alli'es idea and she was good to drive) down to pomona to go see Boy Howdy. it was the girls' idea not mine but hey, i was drunk and didn't really give a fuck what we did. so i got drunker off of free beer. we all danced alot. u can so tell pitzer people ( Read more... )

i've finally put all my music on my computer again. it's ridiculous how much music i have on here now. then i played the guitar for a LONG time. my fingers hurt now. and then i started to get pissed that lauren would dare to blame me for what she did. like, PISSED OFF. i hardly ever get pissed off. people get scared when i get pissed off. so i've ( Read more... )

i've been secluding myself which probably isn't the best idea. but i did get alot of writing done. it helps me deal with stuff. although i hate the feeling of being alone ( Read more... )

so this morning i passed out from not eating. not good. and my head hurts cuz i hit it on something. so now i'm not allowed to move off of my bed without someone being here. all of this because my stomach is not used to eating solid foods. i think it's time to go back to sleep. i'm woozy ( Read more... )