to be perfectly honest, kid a is nothing short of fucking brilliant. i was one of those pretentious little bastards who swore she knew everything about music and promised that radiohead was overrated. and, to be honest, i still think pablo honey and amnesiac are not what people want them to be. but kid a is a mind-blowing experience every time i ( Read more... )

i had to write about any "theatrical" event for my drama lit class, discussing various points of theory. strangely, the first thing that came to mind was sufjan stevens at the great american music hall in the summer of 05. i am sitting here in tears after writing this much-longer-than-intended post for the class (it's an online one), remembering ( Read more... )

my birthday sucks.
every
year.

at least this time i'm twenty-one
in the states
and i can go get
fucked
up.

writing in the livejournal and drinking coffee instead of getting ready for work. wanted to write something deep and meaningful. oh well. saw th dark knight on friday -- may not have been the best movie i've ever seen, but it stirred up a lot of thought. heath ledger was a creepy motherfucker; did i mention i'm not a fan of clowns? missing my ( Read more... )

why is it, on my worst of days, that my house feels nothing like a home?

i am getting so tired of this "participate in something you don't believe in" bullshit lifestyle, it's sickening.

i am about one "hooah" away from quitting life.

why are men such idiots? honestly. i find myself getting more and more annoyed by the stupid shit he does and am actually looking forward to him leaving soon. blame the heat, blame the possibility that my birth control may not be working, blame the fact that i'm a bitch. but seriously, how dense and inconsiderate can one gender be? it is nights ( Read more... )

i had a dream last night that i wrote a letter to oprah and she gave me a ton of money and everything was great. i woke up -- on the couch -- and realized that no matter how much money i come into, my problems will not go away. i will not be less depressed. i will not have less stress. i will not have the things i want. germany is a shithole -- ( Read more... )

i'm increidbly weirded out. i think i've just had a miscarriage; i'm about two full weeks early, i'm on the pill, and i've had a TOTALLY regular cycle since i started this brand eighteen months ago.

i don't know if i'm more scared because i could've been pregnant or because i might have lost it.

i spent an entire hour on the phone with my mom; she's amazing. i then spent near an hour writing [in my freaking paper JOURNAL] about her. i would cry if i didn't drink so much -- though that was the ultimate goal. honestly believe i've become a seasonal alcoholic. and by "seasonal" i mean every season, when he leaves. february twenty-somethingth ( Read more... )

i just dropped him off... again. i would rant about how pissed i am at his unit and how heartbroken i am and how the nightmares have come back and i need him and how i'm praying it gets canceled last minute but it's only five forty am and i'm still exhausted so i'll crawl back into bed with the puppy and bitch later.