Well, it hasn't been long since I last updated this. Thanksgiving break has passed, I've completed my interview project, and feel as if I am on a healthy start to working on other stuff. I completed 3 of 8 tasks to be completed before December 11th. 3 of the eight are due Friday, and I have done 1 of those ( Read more... )

It's thanksgiving break and I am not at all excited. For one, I do not enjoy being home. It's an imprisoning place that allows me to concentrate on thoughts, which always make me sad. Second, I have a lot of homework. Included is an interview project. I have to interview my Mom and Grandmother and they are both reluctant and whiny about it. It's an ( Read more... )

I know nobody wants to hear my sad melodrama of a life, so if you do not want to hear any of it, stop reading now. This reflection is for me, so I can read back later and analyze the progress I have made or have not made ( Read more... )

Halloween marked the seven month anniversary of when my life shifted dramatically. Seven months ago I went from happy to sad, full to empty, strong to crumbling. Although it has been seven months, I honestly don't feel any better. People say pain is weakness leaving the body--so I must be stronger now. But I don't want this strength--it comes as ( Read more... )

Last night watching the meteor shower, I watched the stars fall so quick. A heap of shooting stars is a sight I enjoy seeing. As the first one fell I closed my eyes and made a wish. My wish was that when I arrived at the psychological assessment’s follow-up meeting, all would be well. I thought in addition to praying, this would be a nice support.

I ( Read more... )

Tomorrow I will go in for a psychological assessment. I’ve waited for this day impatiently for a long time. With my appointment being less than 24 hours away, I must admit I no longer want this. I wish I could run and hide in a corner and make it all disappear. I know in my heart as well as everyone else that I am not suicidal or homicidal. However ( Read more... )

"How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on, when in your heart you begin to understand there is no going back? There are some things time cannot mend, some hurts that go to deep, that has taken hold." -Frodo, LoTR 3

It’s been awhile since I last updated this journal but I have decided it is time for another post. This is mainly ( Read more... )

So I am rather frustrated currently. I am having to pay out of my savings account for a psychological assessment to prove I am neither homicidal or suicidal. I sense something very bad about this assessment, but am going through with it anyways. At the same time I feel as if I am submissive and oppressed, almost as if I am a sharecropper for ( Read more... )

Looking back on life is always a blessing, especially when you keep a record. Upon recent stresses and inconveniences in my life, I resorted to reading old journal blogs and looking through my extensive collection of pictures. It took me back to a time of great happiness, but also regret and remorse. I’ve done a lot of bad things in my life to good ( Read more... )

I am quite uncertain of the topic I am writing on today. The only thing I know is that I want to blog. Everyday that I live remains quite an odd collaboration of happiness with tragedy, and a journey in finding out how to cope with both stress and persecution, while remaining true to who you are.

After a long and drawn out time of quarreling, ( Read more... )