Designated Hitter

[don_t_ask]

An item, submitted for your consideration:

No matter how hard you try to disassociate yourself from an unpleasant person, you will undoubtably be forced to associate with them through no fault of your own.

So I have come up with the following ways to get rid of an unpleasant person:

• Stare intently at their forehead as they speak to you.
  
• Feign a

Comments

I like the ways to get rid of a roommate...

[vidboi12]

Spend all your money on Transformers. Play with them at
night. If your roommate says anything, tell him/her with a
straight face, "They're more than meets the eye."

Collect all your urine in a small jug.

Take all of your roommate's furniture and build a fort. Guard
the fort for an entire weekend.

Hang stuffed animals with nooses from your ceiling. Whenever
you walk by them mutter, "You shouldn't have done that to
me."

Buy Lay's potato chips with all your money. Stack the bags in
the middle of the room in a pyramid. Eat them whenever your
roommate is in the room. For every one you eat, offer your
roommate one, each time telling him, "No one can eat just
one."

Become your own twin brother and tell your roommate that you
and your brother never appear in the same place at once. Tell
your roommate the same thing again after leaving and coming
back into the room.

Play Dungeons & Dragons all the time. Tell your roommate to
obey you because you are the Dungeon Master. Attack invisible
dragons with a cardboard sword.

Buy a

[iamwells]

That is beautiful.

Things I have actually done:

"Would you like to blow me?"

Laugh when they are angry.

"Do you ever fucking shut up?"

Find someone even more annoying, when the resources are available-- preferrably a dangerous person. Introduce him/her to that person, then walk away."