Week 1: You jayus gotta read that definition a little closer next time, babe

[dont_be_first]

Note: Before posting angry / butthurt comments on this and/or whatever, please read my postscript in the comments prior to doing so. Actually, I'd prefer if you maybe try at least reading what I'm up to IN THE ENTRY before immediately deciding that I am Hitler reincarnate and/or just a bad person with bad ideas and gosh golly are you ever gonna let

Comments

[kickthehobbit]

I see someone's trying to give ljidolvillian a run for his money.

[dont_be_first]

My "strategy" is kinda tied up with my username. On the other hand, while the majority will be traditional roasts, there are other things I can choose do "with" a firstie's post.

It should always be understood that what I'm doing here is in the spirit of fun, and one person's "not cool / interesting" is another person's "I better get my entry in ASAP to see what the first-post-roaster acct does to me." If the former outnumber the latter, all y'all gotta do is vote me the fuck out.

[dont_be_first]

My butt feels good too. I guess we're both doing something right. High five.

[kittenboo]

Here's the thing, I've been around long enough to have seen others try a similar approach, some with better success than others. The problem with this, to me anyway, is that this is not entertaining to read. It doesn't feel like a too honest critique, an attempt at being funny, or even trying to stir controversy. It just feels like cruelty for cruelty's sake.

[dont_be_first]

Sorry you feel that way.

[n3m3sis42]

Agreed.

[waltzmatildah]

Cruelty for cruelty's sake? 100% agreed.

[xo_kizzy_xo]

There's a difference between meta and targeting a particular contestant. Just so you know.

[dont_be_first]

Contestants volunteer themselves by posting first in the topic thread. If they don't want to be "targeted," they know what not to do.

[halfshellvenus]

Well, belenen certainly didn't know this was going to result from being the first poster, and I certainly wouldn't have guessed so.

Even if people wait until the last day, SOMEONE will be first. And unless it is dont_be_second, they certainly will not deserve this.

I didn't find this funny, or even really applicable to the prompt. Just mean and mean-spirited.

Whatever you were going for here... it did not match up with my personal sense of humor or decency.

Just MY opinion.

[dont_be_first]

While I do have my own moral code I'm following here (which I've already flogged to death throughout the comments for anyone who cares to read, but it boils down to "critique an entry, not a person or their writing generally"), I'm not particularly concerned with anyone else's standards of "decency."

And I'll just say one more time that this (thankfully not universal) bizarre LJI-veteran urge to "protect the innocent" is a really weird one which, were I the subject of an experiment like my own, I'd find much more insulting than the critique that inspired it.

I note that of all those who are coming by to say that I'm a horrible person, no one is coming to defense of the subject entry or disputing / wrangling with any of my criticisms. It's all "WHY CAN'T YOU JUST BE NICE?" With 250+ entries to read, you'd think the veterans would be interested in something, ANYTHING, with potential to improve the baseline quality of writing here.

[dont_be_first]

If you're angry that I "targeted" someone "unfairly," or about anything else, I suspect you too may be suffering from reading-comprehension fail. I'll be brief, but please note the following before posting a complaint I won't bother listening to:

- At no time was belenen personally attacked. Actually, I take pains to say that I like what I see of her average daily LJ output (and this statement is 100% true).

- In general, my "critiques" will be limited to the first-respondent-participant's entry only, and I WON'T get personal in my "attack" UNLESS saidsame first responder has previously tried to get personal with me during Season 9. (Read: no outstanding secret grudges to worry anyone

[n3m3sis42]

I have no difficulty with reading comprehension. Your post was rude. Even worse, it was overly long and boring. Perhaps snark just isn't in your wheelhouse.

[dont_be_first]

You've enjoyed past offerings I've served up along similar lines, or at least you've frequently said so in your own past commentary. So maybe I was just off my game this week.

I mean, hey, we're all a little rusty. I went easy for a reason.

[n3m3sis43]

Greeeeat... I figured I knew you (voice is familiar). This is going to drive me nuts. It's too early for me to argue more, and what it really comes down to is if you okayed with Gary, it's not for me to police it. But yeah, this was weak snark. XD