It sounds to me like what you are struggling with is the desire for expression. You feel an emotion, which is surprising and uncomfortable to you, so you want to shout, or do something physical that demonstrates that emotion. I guess the obvious question is whether you have people or spaces that will let you express emotion verbally so that it doesn't explode.
(For my part, I find that fairly often when I wake up depressed, I dry heave a lot, which I interpret as my body trying to get the depression out.)
I think having emotions and not knowing the "emotionally healthy" or "normal" way of expressing them is an extremely common trigger. For some reason, some people are just not wired to say "hey, I'm really angry at you because of what you did," so instead we get angry at ourselves.
You hit the nail on the head. I've never been a person who was overly emotionally expressive, and I think now that's because of the environment I grew up in. It was never safe in my house. And because of that I don't think I ever felt safe anywhere else. How could I with an alcoholic father, and my parents fighting? It was a constant warzone. Anyways, I think what you said about the whole " For some reason, some people are just not wired to say "hey, I'm really angry at you because of what you did," so instead we get angry at ourselves." is so true. Especially to me. I've never been a very confrontational person about things, and maybe my possible anger at others affected why I used to SI.
creativity is the answer??wickwriter2August 23 2011, 16:40:14 UTC
So i totally agree with what you guys have said about outlet for intense emotion- i am with you sarah, in that i don't ever want to lose that intensity of feeling- cos i go through most days almost stoic and lukewarm inside and then i'll get a day where everything is so overwhelming emothionally.....the only thing that works for me in a postitive way is writing- not so much journal style but creative stuff, fiction, poetry.....failing that exercise also works but often i lack the motivation if i feel depressed. anyways, i hope this helps! :)
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(For my part, I find that fairly often when I wake up depressed, I dry heave a lot, which I interpret as my body trying to get the depression out.)
I think having emotions and not knowing the "emotionally healthy" or "normal" way of expressing them is an extremely common trigger. For some reason, some people are just not wired to say "hey, I'm really angry at you because of what you did," so instead we get angry at ourselves.
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I hope you're doing alright.
-Sarah
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:)
I am: penseive
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