i wish my life were different. all of it.

i think the only way to handle this summer, is to become a guy.

and now i'm second guessing myself and everything and being here and where i want to be and i kind of really fucking hate this.

why can't i get into the mindset i was in a few days ago??

i think it will be easier to decide if i want to come back to ithaca

if i miss it when i leave. simple yet genius.

in other news, i need to pack.

i have finally come to the conclusion that the problem is me, because the reality is, that i hate or at some point have hated every single person i have ever met.

This has been such a LONG month...

I will have written a 10,000 word, 30 page thesis paper.
I will have finished (basically) my freshman year of college.
I got into Emerson.
Evan and I broke up.
Sparkle is gone.

I cannot WAIT until next Thursday.

i can't stop choking on my own tongue and my head won't stop racing and i can't stop hating everything that is happening right now and what isn't happening. and i'm so sick of things i can't change or prevent or help and i'm sick of home already and i'm sick of life ( Read more... )

for some reason, trance, techno and house make everything okay right now.

and dancing.

this year seemed to fly by but at the same time, it's hard to remember life before ithaca.

i have realized that i only like people that are real. very few people are not real at all. very few people are real all the time. the people taht are the most real are the ones who i like best ( Read more... )

Thinking outrageously I write in cursive ( Read more... )