my cat had a birthday we cooked it soup a bear ate it we named the bear picasso and then kissed him on the mouth

LONG STORY SHORT I HAVE A PET BEAR NAMED PICASSO WE MAKE OUT LIKE WHOA

WHAT ELSE IS I"M SICK OF THESE FUCKING WHORE SLUTS WHO EVERY TIME I HIT A BUTTON IT SAYS "this journal is friends only"

FUCKING I WILL SODOMIZE A PIG!!!!!!

A POEM ABOUT A MONKEY ( Read more... )

people who get haircuts that make them look like penises maybe neet to be told: "you look like a sex organ"

myabe sti em utb i kown taht im gnoing to bealate

BUT ABOUT MY PET GOAT
HE ATE CAFFEINE PILLS
HE MARRIED YOUNG
WHEN ONCE A BICYCLE RACE CAME CRAWLING DOWN
HE WAS SOMEWHAT OF A
SASSY THING

I'm WORRIED ABOUT TODDLERS

UPDATE TWICE IN ONE CADILLAC HAVE A LIVE

i knew that one day ( Read more... )

tonight, while walking through the mall, i slapped an aligator with my vagina of a penis. Right in the kisser. Security arrived. Parrots squaked: "What about the celebration! Squak! What about the celebration?!" They said. I thought about leaving, but the smell of freshly baked cookies kept me around, as I hadn't eaten in days by this time. ( Read more... )

you all are whores