right above your head
at the back of your throat
without getting to say goodbye
in the one place you thought you'd be safe.

Anything you say now would be too kind. I don't feel like I deserve kind right now.

But why, Olivia?

Haunted by the same fear.

But I can be only this, and nothing else more than I am.

Good to know that even though it is dark and cold, somewhere the sun is shinning for someone else. 

Am trying to fix things.

Sometimes I wonder why my mother just won't let me.

Other times, I know.

One day I want to go away from here, with you, and we'll find a safe place to call our own.

To somehow entrust your heart to the people you love and who love you
To somehow know that there will always be people you can call home

Stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop being so fucking immature just stop stop stop it now thanks.

Why would you mess with forever?

 Only saw R for a little bit today. I miss him already.

I'm just. Lousy at things, you know?

There are all these things that I might never have, and all these people that I will never be like......... what about me is there to love?

(Sometimes one cannot help but feel alone ( Read more... )

Note to self: buy Critical Mass, by Philip Bell. A book worth having twenty, thirty years from now ( Read more... )