so Today tara and I went to Nicole's softball game. and nicole grew on tara, and tara "has respect for her" which is cool. then we went to her football practice.. which I will say.. I would love to play, but I don't think tara wants me to, so I won't because that would be in bad taste. then we went over lindsey's apartment, and ate dinner and I put ( Read more... )

the cliched "it's been so long since I wrote in this" phrase comes to mind. Well let me see. Let me start at the beginning, or at least close.. Bridget and I are sadly no longer attached.. hmm yeah.. at first I was bothered, really bothered, but now I realize, looking back on it, and talking to my mom about it, it wasn't all just my fault, and ( Read more... )

I had such a good day today. Yesterday our pool table was finally felted put together. I love pool sooo much. oh and the day before that casey and I went to see fantasic four.. and bethany made me feel bad about the bridget situation because she said something about not going to strongsville.. because.... "I'm not friends with bridget anymore" ( Read more... )

So I actually did something that I haven't ever done before. I was upset because of tara, and instead of going to other people I actually went to her and told her I was really feeling. I was completely blunt and honest and I think it was hurtful, but tara actually understood. And I actually got to talk to her about it, and tell her exactly how I ( Read more... )

it's funny how some things are working soo well and others just suck real bad. I'm pretty content with most things right now. I can't wait to start playing soccer.. In a month I have my first game, that is so great to say. I need to call Kia and schedule my classes though.. that's a bummer. I lost my sisters fafsa pin number along with mine and my ( Read more... )

okay.. so.. a lot is coming down all at once.. I think I had a great week last week to prepare me for this week... yet I'm wearing thin. I hate I can't help tara.. I hate that I feel like we aren't even together.. wait, not that we aren't together, that well.. yeah maybe.. or maybe we are just missing.. I miss her.. soo much.. I hate what is ( Read more... )

shattered hopes ( Read more... )

ick. i'm soo tired. Update.. hmm.. schools over and I work mornings, except for today. I'm closing tonight.. My sister thinks I'm depressed but won't talk to me.. hmm.. yeah talk about normalness. Tara has a foster puppy.. its a rot.. maybe? she doesn't know for sure.. but she thinks it is. Bridget came over yesterday when i was done with work, ( Read more... )

"Out of place"

Alone in this world
with nothing left to give
fighting off fears
of being who I am

pushing too hard
losing my strength
bottled up emotions
tip the scale

Lowering standards
chasing something surreal
wanting a friend
that knows how to feel

no where to fit in
with a transparent face
I have nothing to hide
except being out of

so tara isn't really in the best mood lately, and I feel like I do everything but make things better.. and she said I can't do anything about it because I'm not causing it, but hanging out with her friends makes everything seem like it's okay? yeah.. bummer. bothered because she asks me what's wrong and then gets mad when I tell her.. why ask ( Read more... )