Blah blah arf arf

[dopeynowhere]

Since I quit drinking I"ve noticed I seem to thrive on routine. I think maybe it just feels good to be in control of my life. For instance, right now - it's 10:34pm. I've got 26 minutes to go to sleep. What to do with those 26 minutes.. I was waffling on whether to read the end of my Trumane Capote book, start a new self-help alky book, or

Comments

[missannethorpe]

No one should knock Mervyn's or Albertson's. Some days, they are they only vestiges of sanity left in the world.

[sparrow_fox]

I kind of know that feeling.

....the one of only feeling really safe and protected when you're doing what you need to do to take care of yourself. But isn't that the way? Just handling one day at a time? I have to read a page from "Courage to Change" every single day or else I feel off kilter.

The bed seems to be a common place of safety for most people I know. When I feel scared/vulnerable/down I always want to hit my bed and snuggle down.

[dopeynowhere]

Yeah, I'm not like a house of cards or anything. But just moving through the day, it's hard to explain to someone who isn't an alky. Every couple minutes there are these intrusive reminders: billboards, tv commercials, some dumbass with his fraterities bro's whooping it up on the bus, the bottles under your nose at work, tv show scenarios, conversations with co-workers, memories, neon signs in storefronts, t-shirts, the radio.. it doesn't end. You're bombarded with it all day long and it plays out in your dreams as well. There are almost no "controlled environments" where you get a mental break. So you start to value certain a"selfish" activities, and retreats. On the surface it just looks like you're boring or really corrupted by Sally Forth but really there's something deeper going on. I think that's why I so desperately want to get my own place. Just last night I had to listen to my roomate talking about how he "drives better drunk" blah blah blah. I need some kind of sancturay where I know I can go at the end of the day

[sparrow_fox]

hey. I still buy Calgon

[dopeynowhere]

Okay, I knew I knew the title from somewhere. Yeah learning to socialize without the booze has been hard for me. Not because I'm cravng a drink per se, but because I'm a naturally introverted person and it leaves me no place to hide. I've noticed people tend to take their cues from me. They regard me as I regard myself and they're as okay as I am with a given situation or scenario. I think when you present yourself in an empowered, unashamed and positive light people tend to regard you as such. So maybe we share that in common.

[echocracker]

awesome.