Fortunately I run my life like a business now..

[dopeynowhere]

I compartmentalize and close at the end of the evening

Comments

[missannethorpe]

Crap, I'm so sorry to hear this. I remember that day at their wedding. They were awfully cute, the two of them.

[dopeynowhere]

Yep, they were. I'm going up there this Monday & Tues. Hopefully their dog won't maw me to death. That dog needs an intervention.

[gingerbourbon]

Wow. That's an awful lot to have to go through. I'm struck by this

[dopeynowhere]

thanks, it sounds like you have had to go through something much more brutal. I'm so sorry. The way I see it, this is not "my" tragedy. It makes me feel selfish to even regard it as such. It's my mother's and that hopefully allows me an area of selflessness. Ive always believed in every adversity there's a benefit if you just look for i. So I'm trying to search for that. Maybe it will be building a more substantial relationship with my Ma. The what-do-I-do-now aspect weighs on me some in the sense that I'm concerned about what my role is in my mother's life now. Don't know how many friends she's got out there. She's been driving to the hospital herself and has no one at the house. I'm heading over Monday for a couple days. I can swing a couple days off work here and there.. Trying to keep my ducks in a row on this end.. I'm all right though. Like I said I'm "Browne & Associates" when I need to be nowadays.. the last year has really taught me how to methodically get things done.. Sorry to get all Deepak on ya.. (I like

[gingerbourbon]

i really like the Deepak, too.... and I'm envious --- really wish I could incorporate the whole 'business' idea of running my life. I like that. i need to learn that lesson you have, about how to methodically get things done. There have been things I've been trying to get done for six months now... For some reason, it's apparently easier and more comfortable to just have everything be crazy I suppose. I can avoid being a grownup more that way maybe? Really I'm just super lazy

[twilightzoner]

Hey Rob---

Good to see you again last week....I'm sorry to hear about your mom and step-dad....when you get right down to it, there is nothing glamorous about smoking---I've known this for 10 years and have been smoking for 12 and a half.....emphysema is a terrible way to suffer and die.....and I'm scared that's what awaits me.....I'll light a candle for your mom and Perry tonight and say a little sutra for them both.....on the positive side for me, I saw a new psychiatrist today (10 miles away versus 70 for my old psychiatrist) and when she saw the medication levels my old psych. had me on she nearly gasped (way too high)......so we're going to try to eliminate most of the old meds and try some new ones......the emphasis will be on me losing weight while staying stable....okay, enough selfish talk about me......good luck with your mom and Perry---I hope he'll be okay.....if not, just talk with your mom......your a great listener and have very incisive and perceptive insights....

[dopeynowhere]

thanks John. Yeah, it's a dead heat: my brother in-law is flat on his back unable to get across the room or go to the bathroom by himself from the same thing. They're saying he's got about two months left on his E-ride ticket. The irony is my sister and mother don't speak with one another even though their husbands are dying the same, slow agonizing deaths.

I'm heading up there Monday and Tuesday to spend some time with my mom and teach her to drive again. Perry drifts in and out of conscioiusness and I'm suspicious of the doctors trying to milk this situatioin for extra $$$ at my mother's emotional expense. We'll see. Work is the typical bunch of fucktards you'd expect, taking the hurry-up-and-get-that-tragedy-over with attitude. Weirdos. I'll probably head back up again next week on Tues/Wed.

[sparrow_fox]

Rob. I'm so sorry about all of this. I know that there are no words at all that can change or make this feel better for you.

I do know that something is better than nothing, even if you think it's too late.

I believe in something bigger than us - I don't know what you believe - but I think that maybe, I mean what if, Perry knows that you've resurfaced, and knows that your mom has you to think about her so it's just time for him to go? I don't know. I know so little about life or death...I just want you to know that I'm thinking about you while you're in this strange limbo.

I hope that the dog comes around.
xo
Lisa

[dopeynowhere]

thanks Lisa. Every family goes through this type of thing. I like your take on things and I've tried to kind of produce a pony in the midst of all this pony shit. I actually thought of your comments when I "talked" with him today... ;)