Am I still a writer if all I do is read about baby sleep and breast feeding?

That instead of reading, I spend a lot of time squeezing my various aching parts wondering if said parts are about to turn into rocks soon?

That when I'm not reading I am sleeping with my arms and mouth open like I am waiting to become an angel or getting throw up in my ( Read more... )

The Postpartum Lady arrived at our house exactly twenty-four hours after we returned from the hospital the day before. I should say, her title was Month Uncle's Wife, but she had a name, and it was the same as my mothers- Cao. I called her Auntie Cao, but for the purpose of this story, she will be called The Lady.

The Lady did not know our names ( Read more... )

Paul and I watching our little girl cry on the monitor. It was my idea to start it at week 8, and now I have lost all resolve after two days. Paul says to turn back down would mean to have tortured her for nothing. He's right. I am captain, but he is coach, see? That's how it works.

The other day I watched him talking to our daughter trying to put ( Read more... )

The night we left for the hospital, the baby was already a week late. I had packed my "go" back weeks ago, so long ago in fact, that the snacks I bought to eat at the hospital had already been eaten, and we had to buy more. We bought a lot of snacks, there wasn't much to do during a pandemic except grocery shop.

We walked around deserted Little ( Read more... )

First of all, there are three sick old ladies in peril. One 92, one 75, and one 65. Just that alone, as a writer, I feel is unnecessary. I need to consolidate the old ladies. And the pandemic. And cancer. And treatment of cancer. Plus covid positive tests, and delayed results and negative tests. Plus I am about to about to about to give birth, now ( Read more... )

I have this strong urge to buy liquor. Not even drink it, just buy lots of it and look at the beautiful bottles lined up on a shelf and have a conversation with my past self. The devastating saddness that comes, not the next morning, but the following afternoon, after a day of truly hard drinking. The kind of drinking, where you're on the floor ( Read more... )

two weeks until LIFE AS WE KNOW IT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN.

Maybe it will be better.

I can't wait to drink a martini and smoke a cigarette and not be 60% fat.

Maxine wanted to show someone, anyone, the heart-shaped blister on the bottom of her foot ( Read more... )

There were so many people who passed in and out of live as children, in the various schemes of immigrants ( Read more... )

Last week it was like this, P drives me to my 9am appointment to see the baby doctor, but there is a line outside of people who are getting tested for something. I wait in the line, until they tell me because I am pregnant I can go straight up ( Read more... )