I wanted to be a journalist like my friend M. I saw him do it, even though he started out knowing so little. M and I are friends for a reason, we are both soft hearted sensitive people, but M could use it to tell a story, and I kept falling in love ( Read more... )

The last time I saw Woods was that week I spent in Chengdu by myself. I wasn't married yet. I drank and smoked cigarettes constantly still. Random people talked to me all the time no matter how much I tried to disapear. Maybe those were the last flames of my raging youth ( Read more... )

I could tell that words are getting away from me. The other day my friend used facile over zoom about something and it felt like someone popped a candy in my mouth. Then I spit it out due to surprise ( Read more... )

i haven't written anything in such a long time. i don't know how time passes. I wake up at 7 and suddenly it's 9 and I am still in bed and I've read every piece of news on nytimes, new yorker, nymag, la times. I think not only about the corona virus now, about how many people have gotten it, about how people who had it before are "reactivating" and ( Read more... )

Finding it difficult to communicate with people. There's so much I want to say to everyone, on so many levels, but I cannot seem to find the right words at the right moment. I keep leaving text half written, walking away, thinking about it all day. I have to copy and paste emails i've already written to other people in order to trick myself into ( Read more... )

being pregnant is like always having a puppy inside your shirt. even at night, when you're sleeping.

we went on a long hike today on the trials behind our house. so many people, so many babies and puppies. everyone smiling at each other but going out of our way to keep our distance.

The mountains were two hundred different colors of green, and ( Read more... )

They told us what would happen but for some reason we didn't believe them ( Read more... )

Fatigue has a feeling, has a smell, has a postrue. it's a need to move but a failure to do so. I can the hours as a series of tasks, but all I can seem to manage consistently is eat the snacks within my vicinity and go to the bathroom. For once in my life, I feel that to be a woman is not to be equal. In this, we are not equal and it was about time ( Read more... )

Regarding Television, here are some advice I've gotten a long the way:

1. American audiences want to see people it either SET in America or obviously ABOUT americans. Which I think what they mean is...white people or black people. Definitely not asian people.

2. nevermind i hate this

Last night at dinner we talked about our foremost emotional registers.

Many people talked about Anger, that Rage being their most dominant trait.

J said he is full of rage, that he is the most intelligent, most eloquent, when he is incited to anger. "i have a terrible memory, but when i'm angry, suddenly I remember everything."

He thinks perhaps ( Read more... )