It's 5:45 am and I haven't been able to fall asleep yet so here are some quotes ( Read more... )

Today a transvestite came into work. And some guy was on his hands and kness out in the mall puking his guts out.

Ugh i need a pirate hat! and a dumbwaiter! and an air hockey table! and an australian trampoline!

Last night i had this dream that mary kate and ashley olsen's mom won the lottery, but the lottery people wouldn't give her the money becuase she has 2 rich daughters.

I cant wait to have my own house so i can paint it pretty colors and hang up pictures and get stufff from pier 1 and shit like that. I'm going to have a libraryish room too. It will be decorated uber cooly.

I'm going to have an indoor pool. And a tennis court, wicker furniture, and big windows. and a lawn gnome.

awww the librarian in my old town died. I remember being in like 2nd grade and going to the library. I knew him a long time. He was only 55.

It's 5:19 am and i have not been able to fall asleep yet:(

I love how my friends insert the word fucking into the middle of words. For example: h*****p its tim: that was disfuckinggusting li***an: well he did a amfuckingazing routine h******p its tim: OMG IM SO FUCKING NERFUCKINGVOUS

I like the word fricken.

And the paper shredder is my favorite electrical appliance.

wow they just said that judo and boxing always have 2 bronze medalists, who knew.