SPN fic: A Thousand miles behind

[dotfic]

A bit early--although it will be right on time for her--a very happy birthday to smilla02!

A thousand miles behind
Dean, Sam, Castiel, Risa, Chuck, various OC's; implied Dean/Risa and Dean/Castiel | 3,000 words | PG | End 'verse

a/n: Title from Bob Dylan. Written for smilla02's birthday to her prompt, so this is her fault. Thank you to sargraf for the beta

Comments

[smilla02]

OMG GIRL THIS IS ALL A END 'VERSE FIC SHOULD BE!
I love the way you brought up to the surface all the sharp, cutting edges Dean's trying to mask - a bit ineffectually considering Risa and Cas's reactions. As I often say, future!Dean is the best kind of woobie, all iron outside and a mess of bleeding cuts inside. I also love very much how you hint at how broken everybody else is, too. as, of course, but Risa as well - whom I LOVE SO MUCH - and the whole camp.

A few of my favorite passages:

At moments Dean wanted to break in, steal the box, and burn the whole thing. Other times he was glad the words existed.: I love the idea that Dean want his and life, and Sam's life to be recorded somehow. This was such an insightful little line!

and heard a voice mutter idjit so clearly that Dean turned to scan the dark cabin: OH BOBBY!

"No," Cas said. His eyes were sharp today. And OH CAS, getting himself straighten up when Dean needs him. Finding purpose maybe, outside of pot and absinthe and what he tries to fill the void with

[dotfic]

2014!Dean pov I think would show the cuts and bruises and soft spots, while the exterior would be the armor with maybe only a few glimpses showing through of what's beneath. For me the approach was that what's beneath is always present and runs deep but what this Dean has been through, the losses he's faced, has made him push it down so far he adequately masks it. (Where as our canon current timeline Dean tries to push down but doesn't adequately mask it, he has some overt tells while he tries to hide. 2014!Dean is so...controlled.)

Thank you, I'm so so glad you liked what I did here! The End 'verse is a painful 'verse to dip into and yet compelling, and I hoped to have a significant Sam-Dean element to this as well because Sam is a constant with 2014!Dean even though he's lost UGH FEELINGS. And Dean and Cas's relationship changed, and both of them changed, yet the basics of that bond underneath are the same.

♥♥♥

[x5vale]

Everything Smill said.

Perfect.

[dotfic]

Thank you, I'm delighted this worked for you--End 'verse is such a fraught headspace to visit. Especially 2014!Dean pov.

[sargraf]

This is beautiful. \o/ The hallucination scene is so poignant. ;_; Your 2014!Dean voice is just perfect, and the textures between the other characters and Dean are amazing. I love how you enrich his characterization through their eyes (their interaction with him), even though he is the POV character. And they all become so real in these careful moments that you write so precisely, including the characters we didn't meet in canon (Steve and Annie); they all have this sense of history to them. I love the details of things like Risa and Cas being better at tracking in the woods than Dean, and this...

"Feel better soon, boss." Chuck left, holding his clipboard the way Dean held a gun, the way Sam used to hold a knife. Somewhere in camp somebody needed cough syrup, or toilet paper, or warm socks, or a book they hadn't already read.

...is just so perfect. Of all the beautiful touches in your fic, I think this is my favorite.

I love this fic so much. <333333

[dotfic]

Thank you, honey. Writing 2014!Dean pov made my heart ache, and I wanted to get those layers in where the shell is just a shell, it's not who he really is. Being inside his pov made it easier, but he tries to conceal things to himself too, and more stringently than regular flavor Dean would. Writing him as frozen off and hidden beneath a thick layer of armor, and yet still with his huge heart and caring too much and feeling the losses and being Dean underneath it was interesting.

I'm so glad the little touches of camp life worked--I wanted a sense of Dean feeling responsible, and protective, even though he'll do terrible things, it's not because he doesn't care or feel a sense of connection.

<3<3

[tiptoe39]

awwww geeeez ;_; now i need tissues.

maybe i'm just a dean/cas girl at heart but cas being there for him when he wakes up, the two of them holding hands loosely... not being sure if dean was speaking michael's name aloud or if cas is still able to read his mind... yeah. favoritest things ever.

Poor, poor Dean.

*loves on*

Thank you for sending these links my way, love. I am happier and better for having read these. <3 <3

[dotfic]

Thinking about Castiel's feelings if he heard Dean praying to Michael so desperately... ;__;

Yeah, I think Dean was doing it out loud and it tore Castiel up inside. And there's Cas, totally depowered and unable to fix anything for Dean, even a cut. But he can be there in other ways, and I liked having him get that and Dean recognizing it too.

Thank you for the lovely feedback! I'm glad this worked! *smish*

[maypoles]

This was excellent! Your writing is so sharp and lovely.

[dotfic]

*smish* Thank you so much for reading and for the kind words!