Writing this, a summary of how I'm falling apart, will be as hard as it always is.
To start and to stay at trying to explain the way I feel these days.

I'm likely to delete it half way through.
If I can read this tomorrow it'll be a feat I haven't been able to complete since my last.
I've tried, a lot...
I just can't get it out.

I've still got that ( Read more... )

I would never have thought that I could have been drawn into something so much more...
anonymous.

Something so unfamiliar, and foreign, something so far away, right here.

Maybe these feelings are what all of those bizarre dreams were preparing me for.

Dreams of complete, and limitless space, space with immense pressure, breaking me down into my most ( Read more... )

What is it about abandonment... and desolation?

Each my body can hardly tolerate. Like heat and no control.

I'm on fire inside.
Except I want it, because I can feel it burning, and when I try and gain can control, I can feel me moving.

In the cold you're just numb, and every movement you make is so quick.
What does it matter what you do then?
Everything ( Read more... )

I don't have a lot to say.

This feels a little strange.
Like lacin' up a shoe you've soaked--when you know it's the same size it's always been, but it feels one size too small.

Maybe the regiment(hah) of trying to capture my life--or at least any one part of it--is a shoe I'm growing out of.

Maybe I'm beyond talking to walls.

I've got the usual output options--the shoulders of ( Read more... )

This isn't any fun, I've thought.
I shouldn't be all right with this.

But, later in the scheme I've seen that, every one will take their hits--
so I can't back up, off the line, and be the one who takes the shit, and hearing all the life I've missed.

I feel I am apart from things, I feel I can't agree.
It's written in the songs I sing, that something is ( Read more... )

What a beautiful afternoon and, here I can't think of a thing to do.

Maybe I just don't want to do much. After all, I am easy to please.

I just don't don't want to be simply... boring.

I want to connect.
I want to plug-in to something.

I feel like the cord that you see now and then, with the prongs and the holes that make you confused.
Makes you think of ( Read more... )

I can't, without reason, trace lines through our time.
I've stamped and, I've labeled all items of mine.

Your walk is a replay I play in my mind.
Like rapids that flow only six feet behind.

They snake and they coil across mossy rocks.
They bend over trees and cut all the stalks.

We've made a decision, we've had all our talks.
This illness won't shed like ( Read more... )

Hell.

Seventeen dollars for a carved piece of lacquered wood I break in a day.

Investment profit: $ -17,00

I broke my bokken on a tree, practicing in a small wood by the neighborhood.

Decided to take the dogs with me. Let them get the smell of spring. Thought that I would train, and settle on the top of a rock to take in the new season myself.

Eleven A. ( Read more... )

Scientists discovered what is known to be the largest diamond in our galaxy.

It lives as the heart of a White Dwarf star. It's karat size? Ten billion trillion trillion, or try a one with thirty-four zeroes behind it. It spans a diameter of 3,000 kilmetres or about 1,900 miles.

Imagine if you could set a star into the necklace of the girl you loved.

( Read more... )