Yesterday was alright. It involved a lot of driving around. After the animal show Lindsay and I went to Lee Insco's and got my stuff out of the Focus. The hood of that car is not pretty. But then, I knew that. Picked up Carson, to Raleigh, back to Lburg, meet up with the crew at Jasons, to the bunker, hang out til 12:30, whatever. Nick seemed a ( Read more... )

Day got a little better ( Read more... )

So I rear ended a Ford F150 this morning. I won't be driving for a while cause god knows how much it will be to fix the car [a few thousand?] and the 1000 deductable on the insurance...plus the skyrocketing insurance after the accident is reported to our insurance company...we can't afford it. Good job Sam. You thought you had brake, your foot ( Read more... )

No time to make a big entry about today. It started bad and ended good ( Read more... )

Medicine makes me sick.

I'm trying. I really am trying. He kisses her and holds her hand and he sees her every night and I'm trying. But god, it fucking hurts.

Happy happy happy happy be happy be happy.

And I repeat what I said a few days ago--I feel like exploding.

Happy? Sad? Good? Bad? I don't know. I really, really fucking don't. I'm at a loss. One second-BAM over Nick hate him fuck him if he wants me then he wants me and that's that and if not screw it. Next second-ouch. He's holding her hand. I want him back, I'll do anything ( Read more... )

This might be harder than I thought.

please nick and bethany, don't last. please. it sort of kills me, that's all. thank you.

So I was right. I still hold to my entry before...I'm going to try to be better. But when Carson tells me that Nick says there isn't a chance to get back together, it hurts. He says he's with Bethany cause she's hyper and fun and makes him happy. And I make him sad. Which, in a roundabout way, is more incentive for me to get BACK to being happy ( Read more... )

Okay. So I'm about to make a choice. But I'll tell about my night first ( Read more... )

Tonight was...odd. I think I smoked too much. I had fun with my friends though. Nick brought tons of leftover bread from panera to the bunker and we were warring with bagels and 'sword fighting' with french bread loaves and it was just funny ( Read more... )