brea: my supervisor once said something to me that kinda sticks out in my head that pertains to her: you dont want to throw a friend to the curb but you also cant let a leech keep sucking your blood ( Read more... )

so whats the deal with wanting what is unabtainable? my ex-husband of course still wants me... i just can't seem to want him. there is just something there that stops me from loving him. i think its because i always did and just for that reason alone love cant stand on its own two feet... i dont want to love someone just because i always have. ( Read more... )

last weekend was very interesting. i had a great time! and i didnt even get drunk ( Read more... )

so like really? you know... i suck at making decisions. i am trying to make matt decide on if he really wants to get remarried cause apparently we changed so much that we dont match anymore ( Read more... )

wow i havent written in quite some time. but that is ok cause i am here now. i dont know what to say other than i forgot to take my meds and i am feeling quite not myself. i am feeling nostalgic i think. and i am very irritated. breas baby wont stop crying. i cant wait for him to go home. only like... 2 more hours. i miss being a civilian. i want ( Read more... )

my life up until now has been a rollercoaster never ceasing in its endless terror. now that my world has slowed down i know now that i never wanted to get off that ride. i keep thinking back on things that happened and wonder what could have happened. i think about people that i shouldnt think about. about love that i could have kept or held again ( Read more... )

am i meant to have that special thing? am i meant to have someone special? am i meant to be happy? i dont know what i want right now and it upsets me. i know i want something that i know i cant have, but i still want it. why do i have to have things that stop me from having other things. life is so vague, so disappointing. i need something that ( Read more... )

key points... since i havent written in this thing for a while ( Read more... )

what is wrong with me? im not worth a damn thing... and its showing through right now ( Read more... )

AAHH!!! NATASHA IS COMING TO GET ME!!! she just said! she wants to take a road trip!! and and YAY!!! this weekend!!! YAYAYAY!!!