sins not tragedies (2/2)
Part 1
Junmyeon does not even want to believe that it’s “just a coincidence” that the restaurant his friends decided to go have dinner at just so happened to be the very one that Kris works at.
He wants to punch every one of them in their faces, but knows that’s mean and irrational and that his friends don’t actually deserve it.
Junmyeon shifts around a lot in his place at their booth, trying desperately to avoid looking around the restaurant to see if he might spot Kris working.
All he ends up ordering is water, his stomach feeling to weirdly unsettled for anything more.
“Hey, are you alright, Junmyeon?” Jongin asks from beside him, placing a comforting hand on his knee. Junmyeon wants to tell him to remove it right now, because he’s gay and doesn’t want Jongin to, like, catch his gay or anything by touching him, plus it feels really nice having the younger boy's palm there, more than what Jongin is likely intending.
“Fine,” he assures, nodding.
“Kris, is that you, man?” Chanyeol’s booming voice is suddenly saying, and Junmyeon whips his head up immediately, blood draining from his face when he sees Kris at the table next to them stacking dishes into his tub.
He turns around and smiles at Chanyeol. “Oh, hey,” he says, then looks straight at Junmyeon and says, “Hi, Junmyeon.”
“Hi, Kris,” Junmyeon manages to reply, and he thanks the Lord for not being so upset and disappointed with him and allowing his voice to remain steady as he spoke those two simple words.
“I didn’t know you worked here,” Chanyeol says conversationally, then turns to the rest of the table and says, “Kris here is in our anatomy class.”
Chanyeol proceeds to be the ridiculous social butterfly he is, introducing Kris to all their friends at the table, Baekhyun, Jongin, Luhan, Sehun and Yixing respectively. Junmyeon wants to tell him to shut up and let the guy do his job, but just sits there awkwardly instead, fidgeting in his seat and looking everywhere but in Kris’s direction.
Eventually, finally, Kris says he really needs to get back to work, bids them a goodbye and Junmyeon feels like he can breathe again.
“You sure you’re okay, Junmyeon?” Baekhyun asks him, sounding worried.
“Yeah, you look the same you did the other day during class before you rushed to the nurse…” Chanyeol points out, sounding oddly suspicious.
He looks at Chanyeol and shrugs.
Junmyeon thinks he sees Chanyeol’s eyes narrow doubtfully at him just the slightest.
~*~*~
Baekhyun and Chanyeol are at Junmyeon’s house getting help with their math homework, but they keep getting distracted by Snapchat and Buzzfeed and hunger pangs and Junmyeon is getting a little bit impatient but tries to just remain calm. It’s just hard, because he’s been so edge lately about everything and his mind is always such a jumbled mess of confusion and he’s just so tired, but he wants to help his friends out, so he willingly puts up with their antics.
“I’m gonna order a pizza,” Chanyeol announces before tapping away on his phone and pressing it to his ear.
“Extra cheese,” Baekhyun says as he snaps a picture with his phone of himself with blown up cheeks and a V-sign by his eyes.
“Duh,” Chanyeol replies and then begins placing his order to the person on the other end.
“Did you finish number twelve?” Junmyeon asks Baekhyun, knowing they’re almost through all the problems at this point.
“Almost,” Baekhyun lies, placing his phone down and just starting on it.
“Anything else?” Chanyeol asks them when he’s done telling the pizza place what he wants.
“Tell them to send their hottest delivery boy,” Baekhyun says sarcastically.
Chanyeol actually repeats that into the phone.
Junmyeon asks them as nicely as he can to keep working on their math, that they’re doing great as he tries to get some of his own homework done himself. He grabs his history textbook from his backpack and settles it in front of him on the dining room table, flipping to the chapter that was assigned to read tonight.
About halfway into the chapter, his doorbell rings and he assumes it’s the pizza.
“Don’t stop working,” he immediately tells Baekhyun and Chanyeol, not wanting them to break from the sudden concentration they finally had. “I’ll get it for you guys.”
Chanyeol just hands him a bill as Junmyeon walks past him to the front door.
When he opens the door, Junmyeon is immediately positive that God is testing him or punishing him or just plain making fun of him, because Kris just so happens to be the delivery boy bringing the pizza to his house right now, of course.
“Junmyeon, hey,” Kris sounds surprised. “Uh, pepperoni with extra cheese?”
“Yeah,” Junmyeon nods and hands him the money, taking the pizza in exchange. “Uh, keep the change.” Kris and Chanyeol both deserve it.
“Thanks,” he pockets the money, then looks up at the massive doorway he’s standing in and mutters, “damn, you live in the nice-ass glitzy part of town.”
“Uh…” Junmyeon doesn’t know how to respond to that, and his palms are getting kind of sweaty, but maybe it’s just the heat from the pizza, but he’s shuffling around awkwardly on his feet and he really doesn’t know what to do with himself right now, and he hates that he reacts this way around Kris all the time.
“Yo, where’s my grub?” Chanyeol’s voice comes from behind, and a second later he’s right next to Junmyeon, looking over at Kris with a smirk on his face, saying “well, look who it is. They did send their hottest delivery boy.”
Kris snorts and says, “My co-worker told me the people who ordered said that, but I didn’t think she was serious.”
Junmyeon just stares up at Kris and thinks that he looks really good basked in the lighting from his front porch, jaw all defined and shoulders all wide and he really wants him to leave because all of a sudden he gets the idea of kissing Kris and that’s certainly not an okay thing for him to be thinking.
“Well, thanks for the pie, dude,” Chanyeol says, already inhaling a piece that Junmyeon didn’t even notice him take from the box in his hands.
“Just my job.” Kris shrugs. “See you guys in class.”
Junmyeon shuts the door on Kris’s retreating figure and walks back into the dining room in somewhat of a daze, placing the pizza on the table for Baekhyun to all but attack. The daze is soon broken, though, when all of a sudden Chanyeol is asking him, “So when are you gonna admit you’re gay as fuck for that guy, Jun?”
Junmyeon whips his head at him, staring with wide eyes for a second. “I…” he begins shaking his head back and forth vigorously, “no, no, no, I…I’m not…not…”
“Dude, I actually have pretty good gaydar,” Chanyeol says nonchalantly, shoving another slice of pizza into his face.
“But I’m not…” Junmyeon can’t even finish the protest, because it’s a lie he’s gay, gay as fuck, as Chanyeol so eloquently put it, and so he can’t deny it.
“Hey, I know you’re like Christian and they’re all like weird about homos sometimes or whatever,” Chanyeol continues, so calm and casual about this Junmyeon doesn’t even understand. “But like…I don’t know, who gives a shit, ya know? So someone with a dick likes dick? Why should that mean he doesn’t get to pray with the rest of the stiffs every Sunday, am I right?”
“Word,” Baekhyun throws in from his place at the table, also entirely indifferent to the sudden conversation at hand.
“I really thought something was going on with you, like I thought you were sick,” Chanyeol tells him, looking at Junmyeon with a caring expression, “cuz you kept getting all red all the time and sounded like you were gonna barf, but it became pretty clear that it was only happening around Kris, presumably because you end up imaging him naked every time you see him now-”
“No, I don’t,” Junmyeon objects, shaking his head again.
“Most of the time, whatever,” Chanyeol rewords, shrugging. He gives Junmyeon a softer look when he sees the look on the shorter boys’ face. “Hey, Junmyeon, honestly, it’s not a bad thing-”
“Easy for you to say,” Junmyeon laments. “You’re not supposed to be a perfect Christian boy, and you’re straight, and you don’t have to worry-”
“Well, sometimes Chanyeol and I suck each other’s dicks in between rounds of video games,” Baekhyun tells him casually. “So maybe not really totally straight.”
Junmyeon looks between them with a shocked look, unable to even begin processing what the hell is happening right now.
“Yeah, and sometimes my asshole kinda gets really itchy,” Chanyeol adds, trying to be helpful, “and I wonder if it’s because it wants a dick in there or something.”
“That’s just because you don’t clean yourself very well, you sicko,” Baekhyun points out, face scrunching in disgust.
“Honestly though, Junmyeon,” Chanyeol says sincerely, looking him straight in the eyes, “it’s not the end of the world to be gay. Like at all. In fact, it’ll only open up a bunch of new worlds for you. Worry about what your parents or pastor or whoever the fuck else might think later. Actually, don’t even worry about what the hell they think, who even gives a fuck?”
Junmyeon just shakes his head in disbelief, wondering how the night managed to go from math homework to this.
“And if it’s any consolation,” Chanyeol continues seriously, “my gaydar also senses like a ninety-six percent certainty that Kris is a dedicated passenger aboard the fag-express.”
~*~*~
Junmyeon knows he should not have agreed to this, that it’s inappropriate, not to mention illegal, but it’s not like he’s exactly been a saint lately. When Jongin recommended that he “loosen up” because he’s been all weird lately, none other than Chanyeol jumped right on board with the idea and dragged him to some house party on the other side of town.
The vodka burns as it makes its way down his throat.
“Hell yeah, look at you, man!” Chanyeol cheers loudly as Junmyeon sets the shot glass down, wiping at the back of his mouth and trying to get his face back to normal. “You’re a natural, Jun. Here, try a Four Horsemen.”
Junmyeon takes the glass from his friends hand and knocks it back, this one about a billion times worse than the last thing he just drank. Junmyeon coughs and splutters when all of the liquid is settled in his stomach, begging for some water or anything.
“Dude, go get him a chaser,” Yixing says from his place patting Junmyeon on the back. “Jesus Christ, Chanyeol, don’t fuck the kid up so quickly, come on.”
“He’ll be fine,” Chanyeol replies, waving him off.
Jongin comes over with a glass of cola for him, and Junmyeon gulps it down appreciatively.
Junmyeon is fine, just like Chanyeol predicted. After the initial unpleasantness from the taste of the alcohol, he begins to feel a bit light, and his head starts to spin a little bit, but it’s in a good way. Or maybe it’s the room that’s spinning? He’s not sure, but it doesn’t matter, because he’s actually having a good time dancing to the loud music with some girl who is smiling at him and throwing her arms around his neck and he thinks why not? They’re just having fun, this girl is fun, he’s fun, it’s all just for fun.
Junmyeon likes fun.
He wonders why he waited this long to start having fun. Drinking is fun, dancing with random people is fun, watching porn is fun, masturbating is fun. Sure, TLP meetings are a way to fill his day, and church on Sundays is a nice routine he’s used to, but those things, he’s now realizing, aren’t really…well, fun.
“You’re really cute,” the girl tells him, leaning in closer so he can hear her over the loud music.
“So are you,” he replies, and she smiles at him, pleased.
But then he’s suddenly ignoring the girl, because past her shoulder he sees Kris walk in through the front door with another boy who he’s pretty sure is this guy named Tao, and wow, Kris looks really good in that leather jacket and dark jeans and Junmyeon remembers that he’s really gay and the thought of kissing Kris right now is really appealing to him.
“Bye,” he says simply to the girl, removing his hands from her hips and heading straight for his lab partner, who is now following Tao over to the kitchen area. He stumbles a bit, still feeling rather dizzy and disoriented, and he may have accidentally knocked someone’s drink out of their hands, but he doesn’t care because he reaches Kris who’s standing with his back to him in front of the keg and taps him on the shoulder.
Kris turns around and looks down at Junmyeon.
“Hi,” Junmyeon says simply, smiling dopily at Kris as the butterflies in his stomach decide to throw a party of their own all of a sudden.
“Hey, Junmyeon,” Kris says, smiling back and taking a sip from his cup. “I didn’t know you came to these sorts of things.”
“I don’t,” Junmyeon admits. “This is my first time at a party like this.”
“I can tell,” Kris mutters, sounding weary all of a sudden. “Damn, Junmyeon, you’re shitfaced.”
The term makes Junmyeon think of that one video he watched that was so, so very dirty.
“I just…really like dancing,” Junmyeon throws out there randomly, then his gaze wanders over to Kris’s lips and lack of any verbal filter causes him to admit, “I kinda want to kiss you right now.”
“Okay, I think you need some fresh air,” Kris tells him, turning Junmyeon around and gently pushing him in the direction of the back door.
Junmyeon stumbles ungracefully into the backyard and looks up at the stars, marveling at how shiny and bright and numerous they are.
“Sit,” Kris orders, guiding Junmyeon onto a yard swing, then taking the seat next to him. Junmyeon likes the fact that they’re rather close to one another, but is also a little bit nervous, because he really really likes Kris, in the gay way he finally realized, and he’s had really naughty thoughts about him and now Kris is so close to him and it makes him feel all warm inside, but maybe that’s just the drinks Chanyeol had given to him earlier, he’s not totally sure.
“I like that we’re lab partners in anatomy class,” Junmyeon says to Kris, wanting to just talk, because he likes Kris and he likes talking to him. “I was worried at first, because I really, really like you Kris, like in the gay sort of way, though, so I was-”
“Junmyeon, you’re drunk,” Kris points out the obvious.
“I know, I like it,” Junmyeon replies, swinging his legs back and forth, causing the swing to begin rocking. “You know, I was watching this video the other day - it was porn, I just recently started watching porn, it’s pretty nice - and one of the guys was like tied up to the bed and I was thinking that maybe since I was a Boy Scout for so many years when I was younger I’d be good at that, ya know? I could tie myself to my bed and, I don’t know, maybe if you wanted to we could do what the guys were doing in the video-”
“Ohmygod, Junmyeon,” Kris groans, dropping his head into his hands. “Aren’t you, like, mega Christian or whatever, like, holy shit.”
“Yeah, but I’m not a very good one lately,” Junmyeon confesses, shrugging. “So I figure at this point…I’ve already sinned in my mind, which in God’s eyes is not much different from sinning in real life so I might as well just sin away. Sinning is sorta fun anyway.”
“Dude, I think you need to go home,” Kris decides, standing up from the swing. “I’m gonna go find Chanyeol.”
“Wait, but I wanted to kiss you,” Junmyeon reminds him.
Kris turns back around and looks Junmyeon straight in the eyes, saying, “I don’t want our first kiss to be something you wake up with no recollection of, Junmyeon.”
Junmyeon just sits there and wonders what exactly he means by that as he watches Kris walk back into the house.
~*~*~
Junmyeon still feels a little bit off come Monday morning. He’d woken up Sunday morning completely out of it at Chanyeol’s house, unable to remember a single even from the party beyond drinking two terrible-tasting servings of alcohol. “That means it was a successful night!” Chanyeol had responded to that.
He also had a number of missed calls and texts from his parents, wondering where he was and if he would be meeting them at church for service. With the way his head was pounding madly and the heavy feeling in his body, he wasn’t sure if he could even make it out of bed, so he just told them he’d stayed the night at Chanyeol’s and apologized for not waking up in time for church.
Junmyeon had also asked Chanyeol if he saw him do anything overtly embarrassing at the party, considering he couldn’t remember whether or not he did for himself, and all Chanyeol did was shrug awkwardly and mention something about him dancing with some chick, but it didn’t sound nearly as bad as it could have been. Chanyeol also said that Junmyeon got so drunk so quickly that Chanyeol ended up bringing him back to his place relatively early into the night, so what really could have gone wrong?
“So am I a total lightweight then?” Junmyeon is asking Chanyeol as they walk to their anatomy class together.
“Probably,” Chanyeol tells him. “But you also did drink some pretty hard shit, so, ya know.”
They make it to the classroom and Junmyeon slinks into his seat next to Kris, still feeling the stupid fluttery feeling in his stomach when he’s around him.
“Hey,” Kris says softly, and Junmyeon looks over and gives him a small smile. “How are you feeling?”
“Uh…” Junmyeon thinks that’s sort of an odd question for him to ask. “Fine…”
“So you made it home okay and everything after Saturday?” Kris asks him.
Junmyeon feels the blood drain from his face when he puts two and two together. “Were you…at the same party as me on Saturday night then?”
“Damn, you really were shitfaced,” Kris snorts. “You don’t remember anything then?”
“Uh…no,” Junmyeon admits, then swallows a lump in his throat. “I was pretty out of it.”
“Well that’s…good.” Kris nods.
“Oh no, why?” Junmyeon demands, suddenly nervous. “Did you see me do something terribly embarrassing in front of everyone?”
“Uh…no.” Kris shakes his head.
The bell rings and Professor Lim immediately starts class. Junmyeon can barely focus on anything other than the fact that he needs to now pry any and all other information about his behavior the other night from Chanyeol after class.
~*~*~
“Dude, I’m telling you, I wasn’t around you for a lot of the night,” Chanyeol is trying to get through to Junmyeon for the millionth time.
“Well, where was I?” Junmyeon asks, feeling all fidgety and uncertain.
“Uh…I think at one point I saw you and Kris go out to the backyard together,” Chanyeol finally admits, looking anywhere but Junmyeon.
“Oh no, what did I do?” Junmyeon is trying as hard as he can to remember anything, absolutely anything from that night, but he’s completely drawing a blank. He vows never to take another sip of alcohol again.
“I don’t know, man, I wasn’t there,” Chanyeol points out.
“Did Kris happen to tell you anything at all?”
“Uh…” Chanyeol rubs at the back of his neck. “All that he told me was that you’re a very…talkative drunk.”
The amount of things that could mean makes Junmyeon want to throw himself off the nearest building ledge.
~*~*~
To make matters worse, Junmyeon had been unwilling to deny Kris the request to meet up after school for a tutoring session, since the taller boy was really struggling with this section in his math class. So here he is, sitting in the passenger seat of Kris’s car, trying to stop his leg from bouncing and his palms from sweating and thinking about what he possibly could have said to Kris the other night.
“I don’t exactly live in the same sort of a neighborhood as you,” Kris says, sounding almost apologetic, which Junmyeon thinks is silly, as he drives down the streets on the opposite side of town.
“Well, it’s cool to see a different part of town,” Junmyeon replies, not really sure what else to say to that.
Kris pulls into a parking spot in the small lot for an apartment complex and turns off his car. Junmyeon follows suit unbuckling and climbing out of his seat, following Kris over to one of the doors and waiting awkwardly as he fiddles through his keys before settling on one and unlocking the door. He allows Junmyeon to step in first, then follows after him, shutting the door behind the two of them.
“Mom?” Kris calls, dropping his keys on the coffee table in the living room and throwing his backpack on the floor as well.
No response comes.
Kris shrugs. “She must be at work.”
Junmyeon feels his heart begin to race at the notion of them being here alone at Kris’s house together.
No! he tells his stupid overactive imagination. We’re here for math and nothing more!
Junmyeon doubts he will make it through the afternoon.
Kris just says they can work there in the living room, so they sit down, a little bit too closely on the couch for Junmyeon’s liking, if only because he doesn’t want Kris to hear the ridiculous pounding of his heart inside of his chest. They pull out their textbooks and notebooks and get to work, Junmyeon trying to keep his mind focused on math, just numbers, and not let it wander any further than that.
“I think I did this one wrong, but here,” Kris says, handing Junmyeon his paper after scribbling away at one problem.
Junmyeon looks over the math and it actually all looks correct, and his mind is eating away at him because he really is curious about what Chanyeol told him about Kris saying he was a very talkative drunk because that could just mean so many things, so when he gives the paper back to Kris he can’t help but blurt out, “So Chanyeol said we talked the other night when I was drunk and I was wondering what exactly I...talked about?”
“Oh,” Kris says, taking the paper back and then looking away from Junmyeon. “I don’t know...just a bunch of weird stuff. I mean you were drunk, I didn’t take any of it seriously-”
“Could you still just...I’m just really curious, I honestly can’t remember anything,” Junmyeon all but pleads, desperate and anxious to know.
“Uh...” Kris clears his throat and sets the math paper down atop his books on his lap, looking over at Junmyeon. “You mentioned...that you were a boy scout growing up.”
“Oh.” That’s not bad at all, Junmyeon is rather pleased. “Yeah, I was.”
“Uhm...you also said…” Kris’s eyes divert away from Junmyeon’s once more. “That...you wanted to...uhm...kiss me.”
It takes a beat for the words to settle in, and when they do, Junmyeon feels all the blood drain from his face at the revelation.
“I...” Junmyeon has no idea what he should say but he knows he has to save this situation, fast. “I...well, like you said, I was drunk. I was totally talking nonsense, I mean, wow, I am so sorry you must have been like…I don’t even know, wow, I’m so glad you didn’t take it seriously then-”
“So…you don’t then?” Kris asks, looking Junmyeon straight in the eyes now.
“Don’t…what?” As much as Junmyeon wants to look away from Kris’s intent gaze, he can’t, he’s too entranced by the intensity in those eyes.
“Don’t want to kiss me?” Kris clarifies, voice calm and steady.
“Uh…” Junmyeon knows that he should be vehemently denying it, that he should be screaming of course not! but he can’t seem able to make himself lie when Kris is looking at him like that but he also is so not ready to reveal his very gay feelings to Kris right now so he just once again says, “Uh…”
“Because I’d like to kiss you,” Kris tells him, and Junmyeon’s mind just turns to mush, “if you wanted to.”
KRIS WANTS TO KISS ME Junmyeon’s mind is screaming at him, all confused and excited and nervous and jumbled and he’s frozen in place because how in the world is he supposed to react to what is happening right now?
“Oh…kay?” spills out of Junmyeon’s mouth before he can stop it and it sounds so unsure but also so eager and a second later Kris is placing his books on the coffee table in front of him and then leaning over to gently press his lips against Junmyeon’s.
Junmyeon feels his heart racing quicker than it ever has before in his entire life at the soft feeling of Kris’s mouth against his own, and it’s so simple and sweet and perfect and even though Junmyeon has absolutely no idea what he’s supposed to do, where he’s supposed to place his hands or how to angle his head, he’s so very content with just letting their lips be against one another because wow, it’s making his entire body feel all tingly in a really amazing way.
But then Kris pulls back, looking Junmyeon straight in the widened eyes and he gives him a small smile and asks, “Was that okay?”
“That was…okay,” Junmyeon agrees, totally dazed and in wonder, head nodding on its own accord.
“Good, because I want to do it again,” Kris says, and then he leans over once more.
The angle is a little bit awkward and Junmyeon really still has no clue what to do but he likes this so much and he wants Kris closer to him so he shoves his own books off his lap and brings his arms up to wrap them around Kris’s neck, forcing them closer to one another and man, Kris’s lips really do feel amazing on his own, all soft and smooth and Junmyeon tries to just imitate the motions that Kris is making in hopes that it feels just as good to the taller boy. And then suddenly Kris has his hands on Junmyeon’s hips, and Junmyeon gasps a little when he’s being gripped and sort of tugged from the couch and Kris unattaches their lips for a second to mumble, “Come here,” letting Junmyeon know what he wants as he helps gather Junmyeon on top of his lap, legs straddled over the taller boy’s thighs all of a sudden and all Junmyeon can think is wow.
Kris’s large hands feel really nice where they’re placed on either side of his stomach, and Junmyeon wants to go in for more kissing but he’s a little bit hesitant because he’s never kissed someone before, but he really really likes kissing, especially Kris, because Kris is really good at it, so he goes ahead and tells him, “You’re really good at kissing.”
Kris smirks at him and says, “Thanks, you’re not so bad yourself.”
“Really?” Junmyeon is excited to hear that.
“Hmmm, on second thought, maybe we should kiss more so I can be sure.” And wow was that Kris flirting with Junmyeon? Because that was actually pretty smooth and has Junmyeon blushing but nodding shyly before leaning in a bit hesitantly and placing his lips against Kris’s once more. Kris allows him to have control this time, which Junmyeon kinda freaks out over because he has no clue what he’s doing but he figures he’s doing okay because the way he’s moving his mouth against Kris’s is all butterfly-inducing so he just keeps doing it and doing it some more but then Kris decides to let his tongue poke out of his mouth and run it along Junmyeon’s bottom lip and wow that was really great of him to do.
Junmyeon parts his lips just a little and Kris’s curious tongue immediately sneaks into his mouth, gliding over his bottom teeth and Junmyeon can’t help the moan that he lets out against Kris’s lips because it’s all just so so good and he wants to keep going forever.
Junmyeon shifts himself a little bit on top of Kris, bringing their bodies closer together and oh whoa he suddenly becomes aware that he’s hard when his erection presses slightly into Kris’s stomach.
“Uhh…” Junmyeon says, pulling his face away from Kris’s, his entire body on fire over this sudden realization, because what is he supposed to do now?
“You okay?” Kris asks him, sounding concerned, thick brows knitted together in question.
“I…” Junmyeon is trying to put more of a distance between themselves as he wiggles his hips backwards, but Kris’s hands are strong on his hips, keeping him in place, and so the squirming is probably only making his little predicament more noticeable.
“What’s up, Junmyeon?” Kris asks him, noticing that Junmyeon now seems a little bit uncomfortable.
“I…” Junmyeon glances down then looks back at Kris. “I’m sorry, I got…I got…”
Kris looks down too and then chuckles when he realizes what Junmyeon is talking about. “Why would you apologize for that?” And then the taller boy is angling his own hips upwards off the couch, causing his own arousal to press into Junmyeon’s and Oh my God that felt really good Junmyeon thinks as he bites his lower lip.
“I’m hard too, Junmyeon,” Kris points out the now obvious and Junmyeon is too embarrassed to meet his eyes again because this is all just too new and confusing and amazing and just a lot for him to try and handle all at once right now.
Then suddenly Kris’s hands make their way to the front of Junmyeon’s jeans and he’s unbuttoning them and sliding the zipper down over Junmyeon’s hard-on causing a jolt to run up and down his spine and Kris then places his large palm against the front of Junmyeon’s underwear and grips him through it and Junmyeon lets out and embarrassingly high whimper at the sensation, because no one but himself has ever touched him here this way, and so the fact that it’s happening right now paired with the fact that it’s Kris doing it, wow, Junmyeon doesn’t know how he isn’t spontaneously combusting.
Junmyeon steadies himself, latching his arms securely around Kris’s neck as his lab partner pumps his erection through his underwear and it feels so good, so so perfect, he’s never felt anything so wonderful in his entire life. It only takes a few mere tugs from Kris’s large hand before Junmyeon feels himself coming, rocking his hips up into Kris’s hand as he does, dirtying the front of his underwear in the process.
Junmyeon is breathing hard as he comes down from his orgasm, Kris still languidly palming at his length. Once the feeling washes over him, he freezes up, realizing what exactly just happened and going into panic-mode.
“Oh my God,” he mumbles, unwrapping his arms from around Kris’s shoulders and wriggling his way off of Kris’s lap, immediately redoing his pants back up with shaky hands. “Oh my God.”
“Junmyeon, what-?” Kris is asking, but Junmyeon cuts him off.
“I…I have to go,” he lies, shoving his notebooks and pencils back into his backpack as quickly as he can and hoping that his cheeks are not actually as red as they feel.
“Junmyeon, why are you suddenly freaking-?”
“I just…” Junmyeon shakes his head as he goes to the door to slip on his shoes and then Kris is suddenly there, grabbing a hold of his wrist.
“Wait,” Kris begs, trying to get Junmyeon to look at him.
The shorter boy wretches his arm from Kris’s hand, still shaking his head, muttering, “I just have to go,” before rushing out of the door with an untied sneaker and an unzipped backpack and a heart beating so loudly in his chest, he’s sure Kris can still hear it even as he runs down the sidewalk to find the nearest bus stop.
~*~*~
“I just think it’s beneficial for students to work with a wide variety of other students,” Junmyeon is explaining to Professor Lim then next morning before school starts. “Because it introduces them to new study habits and work techniques that may have been successful with their other classmates.”
Professor Lim is nodding thoughtfully as he speaks, absorbing what he is telling her.
“You are such a bright young man, Junmyeon,” she tells him, then flips open a file folder on her desk and starts going through it. “I am going to start making up the new seating chart now. It’ll be done by the time your class period starts.”
Junmyeon lets out a large sigh of relief he didn’t even realize he was holding.
~*~*~
Junmyeon’s not catholic, yet here he is, sitting on the other side of the confession booth, saying, “I’ve done something terribly wrong, Father…”
When he doesn’t continue right away, the priest prompts him, “I’ve heard many a sin, young man. Go on.”
“Uh…” Junmyeon suddenly feels a little bit suspicious over the voice. “I just…”
“Confessing your sins will lighten the heavy burden on your heart.”
“Yeah, uhm, nevermind…” Junmyeon decides, standing up and walking out of there, because he was like 99% sure that was Siwon’s voice he just heard in there, and there was no way he was about to admit his homosexual tendencies to the former TLP president.
Junmyeon can’t help but wonder why everything in the world seems so out of sorts to him lately.
~*~*~*~
Junmyeon has been doing a rather superb job of avoiding Kris since the whole…thing that happened at his house last week, and he’s rather proud of himself for that. The most difficult is avoiding him during their anatomy class together, but Professor Lim went through with changing the seating arrangements, placing Junmyeon with Minseok and Kris with Chanyeol, and so as long as Junmyeon carefully calculates when to get to class and leave class and how to work during lab time, it’s easy to keep from coming into contact with the taller boy, for which he is very grateful.
“Seriously though, dude,” Chanyeol is saying after school while giving Junmyeon a ride home, “Kris is like flipping out every day asking me to try to get you to talk to him. What the fuck even happened?”
“Nothing,” Junmyeon says for the billionth time, because he really doesn’t want to relive the experience by explaining it to Chanyeol.
“Did you guys fuck?”
“Chanyeol, please,” Junmyeon rolls his eyes. “It’s seriously nothing, I just don’t want to talk to him-”
“Whatever, man,” Chanyeol says, shaking his head as he stops his car in front of Junmyeon’s house. “He just seems really upset over it, so I feel bad for the guy-”
“Thanks for the ride, Chanyeol,” Junmyeon says hastily, not wanting to hear anymore. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Chanyeol just rolls his eyes in response and drives away once Junmyeon closes the car door.
Junmyeon tries not to think about it, but he can’t help but think about it, the whole thing that happened with Kris. It’s the only thing that’s been on his mind since it happened, and he thinks about it while he tries to get his homework done, and all through dinner as his parents are asking him about school and TLP and any progress with Chorong, and he’s still thinking about it when he’s trying to fall asleep but instead is kept up tossing and turning because he can’t take his stupid mind off of it.
“Urgh,” Junmyeon groans, burying his face in one of his pillows as he contemplates what he’s going to do about this sad, gay little life of his.
And now he’s definitely not going to get any sleep because there’s some sudden insistent tapping coming from the other side of the room that’s driving him mad.
“Urgh,” he mutters again, throwing the sheets off of his body and stumbling over to see what the hell the noise might be. He peers around his desk, but then soon realizes that the noise is coming from his window. Junmyeon slowly pulls the curtain to the side and then gets a shock when something small and black hits the glass right in front of his face. He looks down and oh no, Kris is down there at the side of his house, waving a hand at Junmyeon as he lets the rest of his pebbles fall out of his hand back onto the ground next to him.
Junmyeon needs to get him out of here before either of his parents wake up and find him there, forcing him to have to explain, and God knows that would not be a pretty situation. “What are you doing here?” he whisper-yells down to Kris after sliding the window open as quietly as he could.
“I just want to fucking talk to you, Junmyeon,” Kris tells him, throwing his hands up in the air as if defeated. “But you speed off whenever I’m even like within twenty feet of you at school.”
“I…” Junmyeon doesn’t know what to say. “How did you know which window was mine?”
“I had to pay fucking Chanyeol to tell me,” Kris admits, sounding a bit put off by that fact.
The volume they have to talk at to hear one another is making Junmyeon a little nervous, so he says, “Okay, hold on, let me just…just hold on.” And then he drops the curtain back down against the window and rushes downstairs. He stops at the front door when he briefly considers the fact that he’s in plaid pajama pants and a plain white shirt, then figures it could have been much worse, and heads outside and around to the side of the house to where Kris is standing with his hands in that stupid nice leather jacket of his.
“What are you doing here, Kris?” he asks him once more, keeping about two feet of distance between them, arms crossed protectively over his chest.
“I missed you,” Kris tells him, and Junmyeon immediately feels his stomach start to get all fluttery. “Why’d you run off right after I jerked you off the other day?”
Junmyeon feels his entire face heat up at the reminder and the blunt way Kris put it, unable to keep looking him in the eyes as he mumbles, “I just…I’m not…”
“Look, Chanyeol kinda told me how you’re sorta going through some kind of like inner turmoil cuz you’re like Christian and gay or whatever, but I really really like you and I just wanna know why you freaked out-”
“You like me?” Junmyeon asks, a little stunned in place.
Kris gives him a look like it should be obvious. “Yeah,” he answers. “I don’t shove my hand down just anyone’s pants, Junmyeon.”
Junmyeon feels himself blush and looks down at the ground, mumbling, “I just…I don’t know how to feel about all this, I’m so confused-”
Then suddenly Kris’s lips are pressed against his, soft and smooth and perfect and Junmyeon is too shocked to react before Kris pulls away, saying, “Sorry, I had to, you’re just so damn cute.”
Junmyeon didn’t think his face could get any redder, but he feels it heat up even further.
“Look, as mixed as your signals are,” Kris continues, realizing Junmyeon is a bit lost for words at the moment, “I’m kinda under the impression that you like me too, and even though I know you’re all confused and stuff, which is totally understandable, but if you’re up for it, I’d really like to take you out on a date...or something.”
“A date?” Junmyeon repeats, looking back up at Kris curiously.
“Yeah.” Kris nods. “We can…like go to church or something if that’s what you want?”
Junmyeon chuckles and shakes his head. “Our first date doesn’t have to be at church.”
Kris sighs. “Oh, good, thank God.”
“Maybe...dinner and a movie, though?” Junmyeon suggests, shrugging.
“Cliché,” Kris points out, but nods. “Perfect, let’s make it this Friday at eight.”
Junmyeon just nods as well, his heart rate once again going wild thanks to Kris, which he realizes he’s probably going to have to get used to.
~*~*~*~
“Wow, Jun, didn’t think you were the kind of guy that put out on the first date,” Kris comments as Junmyeon awkwardly fumbles around, trying to get the taller boy’s jeans undone.
Junmyeon feels himself go red and stops what he was doing, dropping his head into his hands instead.
“I’m kidding,” Kris says, laughing softly as he tries to tug Junmyeon’s hands from his face. “Come on, I’m sorry, you know I’m just messing around.”
“I’m just…nervous,” Junmyeon replies, “because I really want to do this but I’m…I’m a virgin and-”
“Really? I never would have guessed,” Kris says sarcastically.
“Kris,” Junmyeon whines, moving back to remove himself from his place atop Kris’s hips on his bed.
“Okay, okay, I’m done teasing,” Kris promises, grabbing at Junmyeon’s wrist to keep him where he is. “I’m sorry, you just make it too easy, baby.”
Junmyeon’s belly gets all warm at the nickname and he looks down at his fingers that he’s twirling around nervously. “Are you sure your mom won’t be home anytime soon?”
“Positive,” Kris assures him, grabbing both of Junmyeon’s hands and lacing them within his own. “Don’t be so nervous, Junmyeon, we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”
“That’s the thing, though,” Junmyeon says, still not meeting Kris’s gaze. “I really, really want to…”
“Well, then,” Kris mutters, playing with the hem of Junmyeon’s shirt between his fingers, as if asking for permission.
Junmyeon decides he need to stop freaking out so much, cuz like he just said, he wants this, dammit. He needs to learn how to not overthink everything.
Junmyeon tries to just focus on the shedding of clothes and the exposure of skin and the way Kris is making him feel so comfortable about everything despite how riled up he is, and wow, he’s really hard, but it feels good because Kris now has him settled on his back and is in between Junmyeon’s spread legs, grinding their erections against one another with nothing but their underwear in the way and Junmyeon thinks it’s just a really amazing feeling.
“Ah, Kris,” he groans, biting his lower lip as his hips cant up to meet Kris’s, and the taller boy groans before he suddenly removes himself from Junmyeon and from the bed.
“Ugh,” Junmyeon complains, looking over to see Kris looking in his dresser drawer. “Why did you-?”
“Are you sure you’re okay with me fucking you, Junmyeon?” Kris asks him as he walks back to the bed with a condom and a little bottle in his hands.
Junmyeon just blushes and looks away because of the language, he doesn’t even really know why, he just can’t help it.
“Sorry, too crude for you?” Kris asks, then says, “How about just are you sure I can have sex with you, Junmyeon?”
“Yes,” Junmyeon answers quietly, still not meeting Kris’s gaze.
“God, you’re so cute,” Kris says before leaning down and placing a quick kiss on his lips. Then suddenly Junmyeon feels his boxer briefs being pulled down and he tries to resist blushing even more when Kris says, “Spread your legs a little more, baby.”
Junmyeon complies and gulps, knowing what’s coming next thanks to the helpful videos from the internet.
“Tell me if you want me to stop,” Kris says as he squeezes the lube out onto a couple of his fingers, smearing it around to coat them.
Junmyeon just nods, and then Kris leans in and brings his hand down to circle at Junmyeon’s entrance. The shorter boy gasps at the entirely unfamiliar sensation, feeling himself tense up a bit when Kris’s finger tries to push its way inside of him.
“You gotta relax, baby,” Kris says, leaning down and pressing a sweet kiss to Junmyeon’s lips, trying to get him to calm down a bit.
“Mmmm,” Junmyeon mumbles in reply against Kris’s lips, and then starts and bucks his hips upwards when Kris lightly grips his hardened length, still working a single finger slowly into his backside.
“You alright, Jun?” he asks softly, looking down straight into Junmyeon’s eyes.
Junmyeon just nods, not trusting his voice right now, as Kris’s finger wiggles its way further inside of him. He slowly gets used to the intrusive sensation, feeling stretched and full but not entirely uncomfortably so.
“Do you think I can try to add another?” Kris asks him, and Junmyeon flushes at the realization of Kris being so concerned with making sure he’s okay.
“Yeah,” he agrees, nodding. He grips hard onto Kris’s shoulders above him when he feels the second finger make its way in next to the first. Kris’s other hand is still just settled around his erection, pumping it only the slightest bit, probably cuz he’s too focused on trying to make Junmyeon feel as comfortable as possible what with the fingers up his butt and all.
And then suddenly, whoa, Junmyeon sees stars when Kris’s now scissoring fingers brush lightly against this special spot inside of him. He unconsciously pushes his hips downwards into Kris’s ministrations, trying to get the same thing to happen again, but Kris appears to be focusing more on just getting him stretched around the rim and not going as far as he could be, and Junmyeon is only slightly perturbed by that, but he feels too silly to say anything about it. So instead he just tries to unnoticeably wiggle himself around to force Kris’s fingers onto that spot again, but it’s just not happening.
“God, I want to fuck you so badly,” Kris mumbles from above, suddenly removing his fingers from inside of Junmyeon and his other hand from around his cock. He reaches back for the condom he’d grabbed earlier, and Junmyeon just lies there, spread and waiting and still a little bit overwhelmed with everything, but so far it’s all felt so good and pleasurable, albeit a little bit awkward, but isn’t everyone’s first time at least kind of awkward? He sure hopes so.
He doesn’t have time to think of that anymore, though, because he’s too busy watching as Kris rolls the condom down onto his length, and oh man, that’s going to go inside of him in the very near future, and Kris is leaning back down over Junmyeon, arms settled on either side of his chest to hover over Junmyeon before he bends his neck forward and kisses Junmyeon softly, asking, “Ready?”
“Ready,” Junmyeon agrees, and then gulps.
And then Kris reaches down and grabs himself to help guide his way into Junmyeon and, wow Kris is a lot bigger than he looked like he would be, and Junmyeon is trying not to tense up too much, because it’s uncomfortable but also not uncomfortable and actually feels sort of really nice, and so it’s hard for him to decide what he’d prefer at the moment.
“You alright, baby?” Kris asks him as he continues pushing forward slowly.
“Uhm, yes?” Junmyeon answers, and it sounds like a question because he’s not really sure. He reaches down and begins stroking himself because he thinks that will help and it does, it’s starting to feel better little by little.
Junmyeon is pretty sure Kris isn’t all the way in before he decides to pull out and plunge back in again a couple of times, and the friction around his entrance is really unusual, but he’s also really getting into it, so he begins pumping himself in time with Kris’s slow thrusts. Kris then decides to grab at the back of one of Junmyeon’s thighs, pushing it up just the slightest, and when he thrusts forward the next time, he’s hitting Junmyeon right on the spot where he earlier had stroked him with his fingers, and Junmyeon reacts to that by swiping his thumb over the head of his erection, and that’s all it takes before the shorter boy is already coming, pumping himself through his orgasm as he spills messily onto his stomach and hand.
Junmyeon’s body falls back against the bed; he hadn’t even realized he’s been arching up into Kris, hadn’t really realized a lot of things, because again, he was overwhelmed. But it was all so good, it was unlike anything he’d ever experienced before in his life, and he’s a little disappointed when he feels Kris pulling out of him, the overpowering sensation of emptiness overcoming him as he continues to come down from the high.
Junmyeon is panting slightly when starts settling back into reality, noticing that Kris is still hovering above him, just looking down at him with a slight smirk on his face. Junmyeon blushes (what’s new?) and looks away from him, gaze settling down on Kris’s still hardened length now resting outside of him.
“Oh,” Junmyeon says, then reaches down and grabs hold of it, realizing he should probably return the favor.
“Fuck,” Kris gasps, not having been exactly ready for that.
Junmyeon strokes Kris the way he likes to stroke himself, and he thinks that it’s okay, because Kris’s face twists up in what he assumes and hopes is pleasure. Junmyeon smiles to himself and begins pumping faster, pausing only to roll the condom off of the taller boy.
“Here, lay back,” Junmyeon says, letting go of Kris and using his hands to shove lightly against his chest. Kris just goes with it, listening to whatever Junmyeon has to say, and winds up being the one lying on his back this time. Junmyeon crawls down a little bit and grabs hold of Kris’s length once more, rubbing it a few times before he darts his tongue out to lick at the tip of it.
“Fuck, Junmyeon,” Kris grumbles, throwing his head back against the headboard of his bed. Junmyeon thinks that sounded like it hurts, but he continues his task at hand, widening his lips to take in a little bit at a time.
Junmyeon just tries to do it like how he saw in the videos, swirling his tongue around and making sure to use his hands as well. But it apparently doesn’t work, because Kris is suddenly pushing at Junmyeon’s shoulders, muttering, “Stop,” and Junmyeon feels embarrassed, but the feeling only lasts a second because then Kris is suddenly spurting out onto his face, and Junmyeon’s too shocked to even think to pump him through his orgasm.
“Uh,” Junmyeon says eloquently, feeling a little bit of the sticky substance slide down his cheek to his jaw.
“Fuck,” Kris mutters, throwing his head back once more. “I didn’t want to come in your mouth.”
“Why not?” Junmyeon isn’t sure if he should be offended or not.
“I wasn’t sure if you’d be okay with it.” Kris shrugs, then holds a hand out, beckoning Junmyeon. The shorter bow crawls back up in between Kris’s legs until he’s on his knees in front of the other boy.
“Shit, that's hot,” Kris mumbles, eyes tracing the places on Junmyeon’s face where he can feel the come dripping down his skin.
“I would’ve been okay if you…came in my mouth,” Junmyeon tells him, because he wants Kris to know…for next time maybe?
“Shit, you’re killing me, Junmyeon,” Kris says, shaking his head back and forth before leaning in and kissing Junmyeon on the lips once. “So do you still think you’ll be able to be president of that virginity club thing now that you’re…well, not really a virgin anymore?” Kris asks, looking at Junmyeon with genuine curiosity on his face.
“Well, I’ve also watched porn, masturbated and…am gay,” Junmyeon points out, shrugging, “so no…I don't think TLP would really be into me anymore."
"I'm still into you," Kris says, smirking at Junmyeon. "But thank God you're done with that club."
Thank God indeed, Junmyeon thinks, not even really sure what he’s thanking the Big Guy for, but it’s probably something really gay and sinful, because he thinks it as he leans in to kiss Kris once more.
~*~*~*~
A/N: ps anyone wanna beta my shitty ass krisho fics from now on?
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Junmyeon does not even want to believe that it’s “just a coincidence” that the restaurant his friends decided to go have dinner at just so happened to be the very one that Kris works at.
He wants to punch every one of them in their faces, but knows that’s mean and irrational and that his friends don’t actually deserve it.
Junmyeon shifts around a lot in his place at their booth, trying desperately to avoid looking around the restaurant to see if he might spot Kris working.
All he ends up ordering is water, his stomach feeling to weirdly unsettled for anything more.
“Hey, are you alright, Junmyeon?” Jongin asks from beside him, placing a comforting hand on his knee. Junmyeon wants to tell him to remove it right now, because he’s gay and doesn’t want Jongin to, like, catch his gay or anything by touching him, plus it feels really nice having the younger boy's palm there, more than what Jongin is likely intending.
“Fine,” he assures, nodding.
“Kris, is that you, man?” Chanyeol’s booming voice is suddenly saying, and Junmyeon whips his head up immediately, blood draining from his face when he sees Kris at the table next to them stacking dishes into his tub.
He turns around and smiles at Chanyeol. “Oh, hey,” he says, then looks straight at Junmyeon and says, “Hi, Junmyeon.”
“Hi, Kris,” Junmyeon manages to reply, and he thanks the Lord for not being so upset and disappointed with him and allowing his voice to remain steady as he spoke those two simple words.
“I didn’t know you worked here,” Chanyeol says conversationally, then turns to the rest of the table and says, “Kris here is in our anatomy class.”
Chanyeol proceeds to be the ridiculous social butterfly he is, introducing Kris to all their friends at the table, Baekhyun, Jongin, Luhan, Sehun and Yixing respectively. Junmyeon wants to tell him to shut up and let the guy do his job, but just sits there awkwardly instead, fidgeting in his seat and looking everywhere but in Kris’s direction.
Eventually, finally, Kris says he really needs to get back to work, bids them a goodbye and Junmyeon feels like he can breathe again.
“You sure you’re okay, Junmyeon?” Baekhyun asks him, sounding worried.
“Yeah, you look the same you did the other day during class before you rushed to the nurse…” Chanyeol points out, sounding oddly suspicious.
He looks at Chanyeol and shrugs.
Junmyeon thinks he sees Chanyeol’s eyes narrow doubtfully at him just the slightest.
~*~*~
Baekhyun and Chanyeol are at Junmyeon’s house getting help with their math homework, but they keep getting distracted by Snapchat and Buzzfeed and hunger pangs and Junmyeon is getting a little bit impatient but tries to just remain calm. It’s just hard, because he’s been so edge lately about everything and his mind is always such a jumbled mess of confusion and he’s just so tired, but he wants to help his friends out, so he willingly puts up with their antics.
“I’m gonna order a pizza,” Chanyeol announces before tapping away on his phone and pressing it to his ear.
“Extra cheese,” Baekhyun says as he snaps a picture with his phone of himself with blown up cheeks and a V-sign by his eyes.
“Duh,” Chanyeol replies and then begins placing his order to the person on the other end.
“Did you finish number twelve?” Junmyeon asks Baekhyun, knowing they’re almost through all the problems at this point.
“Almost,” Baekhyun lies, placing his phone down and just starting on it.
“Anything else?” Chanyeol asks them when he’s done telling the pizza place what he wants.
“Tell them to send their hottest delivery boy,” Baekhyun says sarcastically.
Chanyeol actually repeats that into the phone.
Junmyeon asks them as nicely as he can to keep working on their math, that they’re doing great as he tries to get some of his own homework done himself. He grabs his history textbook from his backpack and settles it in front of him on the dining room table, flipping to the chapter that was assigned to read tonight.
About halfway into the chapter, his doorbell rings and he assumes it’s the pizza.
“Don’t stop working,” he immediately tells Baekhyun and Chanyeol, not wanting them to break from the sudden concentration they finally had. “I’ll get it for you guys.”
Chanyeol just hands him a bill as Junmyeon walks past him to the front door.
When he opens the door, Junmyeon is immediately positive that God is testing him or punishing him or just plain making fun of him, because Kris just so happens to be the delivery boy bringing the pizza to his house right now, of course.
“Junmyeon, hey,” Kris sounds surprised. “Uh, pepperoni with extra cheese?”
“Yeah,” Junmyeon nods and hands him the money, taking the pizza in exchange. “Uh, keep the change.” Kris and Chanyeol both deserve it.
“Thanks,” he pockets the money, then looks up at the massive doorway he’s standing in and mutters, “damn, you live in the nice-ass glitzy part of town.”
“Uh…” Junmyeon doesn’t know how to respond to that, and his palms are getting kind of sweaty, but maybe it’s just the heat from the pizza, but he’s shuffling around awkwardly on his feet and he really doesn’t know what to do with himself right now, and he hates that he reacts this way around Kris all the time.
“Yo, where’s my grub?” Chanyeol’s voice comes from behind, and a second later he’s right next to Junmyeon, looking over at Kris with a smirk on his face, saying “well, look who it is. They did send their hottest delivery boy.”
Kris snorts and says, “My co-worker told me the people who ordered said that, but I didn’t think she was serious.”
Junmyeon just stares up at Kris and thinks that he looks really good basked in the lighting from his front porch, jaw all defined and shoulders all wide and he really wants him to leave because all of a sudden he gets the idea of kissing Kris and that’s certainly not an okay thing for him to be thinking.
“Well, thanks for the pie, dude,” Chanyeol says, already inhaling a piece that Junmyeon didn’t even notice him take from the box in his hands.
“Just my job.” Kris shrugs. “See you guys in class.”
Junmyeon shuts the door on Kris’s retreating figure and walks back into the dining room in somewhat of a daze, placing the pizza on the table for Baekhyun to all but attack. The daze is soon broken, though, when all of a sudden Chanyeol is asking him, “So when are you gonna admit you’re gay as fuck for that guy, Jun?”
Junmyeon whips his head at him, staring with wide eyes for a second. “I…” he begins shaking his head back and forth vigorously, “no, no, no, I…I’m not…not…”
“Dude, I actually have pretty good gaydar,” Chanyeol says nonchalantly, shoving another slice of pizza into his face.
“But I’m not…” Junmyeon can’t even finish the protest, because it’s a lie he’s gay, gay as fuck, as Chanyeol so eloquently put it, and so he can’t deny it.
“Hey, I know you’re like Christian and they’re all like weird about homos sometimes or whatever,” Chanyeol continues, so calm and casual about this Junmyeon doesn’t even understand. “But like…I don’t know, who gives a shit, ya know? So someone with a dick likes dick? Why should that mean he doesn’t get to pray with the rest of the stiffs every Sunday, am I right?”
“Word,” Baekhyun throws in from his place at the table, also entirely indifferent to the sudden conversation at hand.
“I really thought something was going on with you, like I thought you were sick,” Chanyeol tells him, looking at Junmyeon with a caring expression, “cuz you kept getting all red all the time and sounded like you were gonna barf, but it became pretty clear that it was only happening around Kris, presumably because you end up imaging him naked every time you see him now-”
“No, I don’t,” Junmyeon objects, shaking his head again.
“Most of the time, whatever,” Chanyeol rewords, shrugging. He gives Junmyeon a softer look when he sees the look on the shorter boys’ face. “Hey, Junmyeon, honestly, it’s not a bad thing-”
“Easy for you to say,” Junmyeon laments. “You’re not supposed to be a perfect Christian boy, and you’re straight, and you don’t have to worry-”
“Well, sometimes Chanyeol and I suck each other’s dicks in between rounds of video games,” Baekhyun tells him casually. “So maybe not really totally straight.”
Junmyeon looks between them with a shocked look, unable to even begin processing what the hell is happening right now.
“Yeah, and sometimes my asshole kinda gets really itchy,” Chanyeol adds, trying to be helpful, “and I wonder if it’s because it wants a dick in there or something.”
“That’s just because you don’t clean yourself very well, you sicko,” Baekhyun points out, face scrunching in disgust.
“Honestly though, Junmyeon,” Chanyeol says sincerely, looking him straight in the eyes, “it’s not the end of the world to be gay. Like at all. In fact, it’ll only open up a bunch of new worlds for you. Worry about what your parents or pastor or whoever the fuck else might think later. Actually, don’t even worry about what the hell they think, who even gives a fuck?”
Junmyeon just shakes his head in disbelief, wondering how the night managed to go from math homework to this.
“And if it’s any consolation,” Chanyeol continues seriously, “my gaydar also senses like a ninety-six percent certainty that Kris is a dedicated passenger aboard the fag-express.”
~*~*~
Junmyeon knows he should not have agreed to this, that it’s inappropriate, not to mention illegal, but it’s not like he’s exactly been a saint lately. When Jongin recommended that he “loosen up” because he’s been all weird lately, none other than Chanyeol jumped right on board with the idea and dragged him to some house party on the other side of town.
The vodka burns as it makes its way down his throat.
“Hell yeah, look at you, man!” Chanyeol cheers loudly as Junmyeon sets the shot glass down, wiping at the back of his mouth and trying to get his face back to normal. “You’re a natural, Jun. Here, try a Four Horsemen.”
Junmyeon takes the glass from his friends hand and knocks it back, this one about a billion times worse than the last thing he just drank. Junmyeon coughs and splutters when all of the liquid is settled in his stomach, begging for some water or anything.
“Dude, go get him a chaser,” Yixing says from his place patting Junmyeon on the back. “Jesus Christ, Chanyeol, don’t fuck the kid up so quickly, come on.”
“He’ll be fine,” Chanyeol replies, waving him off.
Jongin comes over with a glass of cola for him, and Junmyeon gulps it down appreciatively.
Junmyeon is fine, just like Chanyeol predicted. After the initial unpleasantness from the taste of the alcohol, he begins to feel a bit light, and his head starts to spin a little bit, but it’s in a good way. Or maybe it’s the room that’s spinning? He’s not sure, but it doesn’t matter, because he’s actually having a good time dancing to the loud music with some girl who is smiling at him and throwing her arms around his neck and he thinks why not? They’re just having fun, this girl is fun, he’s fun, it’s all just for fun.
Junmyeon likes fun.
He wonders why he waited this long to start having fun. Drinking is fun, dancing with random people is fun, watching porn is fun, masturbating is fun. Sure, TLP meetings are a way to fill his day, and church on Sundays is a nice routine he’s used to, but those things, he’s now realizing, aren’t really…well, fun.
“You’re really cute,” the girl tells him, leaning in closer so he can hear her over the loud music.
“So are you,” he replies, and she smiles at him, pleased.
But then he’s suddenly ignoring the girl, because past her shoulder he sees Kris walk in through the front door with another boy who he’s pretty sure is this guy named Tao, and wow, Kris looks really good in that leather jacket and dark jeans and Junmyeon remembers that he’s really gay and the thought of kissing Kris right now is really appealing to him.
“Bye,” he says simply to the girl, removing his hands from her hips and heading straight for his lab partner, who is now following Tao over to the kitchen area. He stumbles a bit, still feeling rather dizzy and disoriented, and he may have accidentally knocked someone’s drink out of their hands, but he doesn’t care because he reaches Kris who’s standing with his back to him in front of the keg and taps him on the shoulder.
Kris turns around and looks down at Junmyeon.
“Hi,” Junmyeon says simply, smiling dopily at Kris as the butterflies in his stomach decide to throw a party of their own all of a sudden.
“Hey, Junmyeon,” Kris says, smiling back and taking a sip from his cup. “I didn’t know you came to these sorts of things.”
“I don’t,” Junmyeon admits. “This is my first time at a party like this.”
“I can tell,” Kris mutters, sounding weary all of a sudden. “Damn, Junmyeon, you’re shitfaced.”
The term makes Junmyeon think of that one video he watched that was so, so very dirty.
“I just…really like dancing,” Junmyeon throws out there randomly, then his gaze wanders over to Kris’s lips and lack of any verbal filter causes him to admit, “I kinda want to kiss you right now.”
“Okay, I think you need some fresh air,” Kris tells him, turning Junmyeon around and gently pushing him in the direction of the back door.
Junmyeon stumbles ungracefully into the backyard and looks up at the stars, marveling at how shiny and bright and numerous they are.
“Sit,” Kris orders, guiding Junmyeon onto a yard swing, then taking the seat next to him. Junmyeon likes the fact that they’re rather close to one another, but is also a little bit nervous, because he really really likes Kris, in the gay way he finally realized, and he’s had really naughty thoughts about him and now Kris is so close to him and it makes him feel all warm inside, but maybe that’s just the drinks Chanyeol had given to him earlier, he’s not totally sure.
“I like that we’re lab partners in anatomy class,” Junmyeon says to Kris, wanting to just talk, because he likes Kris and he likes talking to him. “I was worried at first, because I really, really like you Kris, like in the gay sort of way, though, so I was-”
“Junmyeon, you’re drunk,” Kris points out the obvious.
“I know, I like it,” Junmyeon replies, swinging his legs back and forth, causing the swing to begin rocking. “You know, I was watching this video the other day - it was porn, I just recently started watching porn, it’s pretty nice - and one of the guys was like tied up to the bed and I was thinking that maybe since I was a Boy Scout for so many years when I was younger I’d be good at that, ya know? I could tie myself to my bed and, I don’t know, maybe if you wanted to we could do what the guys were doing in the video-”
“Ohmygod, Junmyeon,” Kris groans, dropping his head into his hands. “Aren’t you, like, mega Christian or whatever, like, holy shit.”
“Yeah, but I’m not a very good one lately,” Junmyeon confesses, shrugging. “So I figure at this point…I’ve already sinned in my mind, which in God’s eyes is not much different from sinning in real life so I might as well just sin away. Sinning is sorta fun anyway.”
“Dude, I think you need to go home,” Kris decides, standing up from the swing. “I’m gonna go find Chanyeol.”
“Wait, but I wanted to kiss you,” Junmyeon reminds him.
Kris turns back around and looks Junmyeon straight in the eyes, saying, “I don’t want our first kiss to be something you wake up with no recollection of, Junmyeon.”
Junmyeon just sits there and wonders what exactly he means by that as he watches Kris walk back into the house.
~*~*~
Junmyeon still feels a little bit off come Monday morning. He’d woken up Sunday morning completely out of it at Chanyeol’s house, unable to remember a single even from the party beyond drinking two terrible-tasting servings of alcohol. “That means it was a successful night!” Chanyeol had responded to that.
He also had a number of missed calls and texts from his parents, wondering where he was and if he would be meeting them at church for service. With the way his head was pounding madly and the heavy feeling in his body, he wasn’t sure if he could even make it out of bed, so he just told them he’d stayed the night at Chanyeol’s and apologized for not waking up in time for church.
Junmyeon had also asked Chanyeol if he saw him do anything overtly embarrassing at the party, considering he couldn’t remember whether or not he did for himself, and all Chanyeol did was shrug awkwardly and mention something about him dancing with some chick, but it didn’t sound nearly as bad as it could have been. Chanyeol also said that Junmyeon got so drunk so quickly that Chanyeol ended up bringing him back to his place relatively early into the night, so what really could have gone wrong?
“So am I a total lightweight then?” Junmyeon is asking Chanyeol as they walk to their anatomy class together.
“Probably,” Chanyeol tells him. “But you also did drink some pretty hard shit, so, ya know.”
They make it to the classroom and Junmyeon slinks into his seat next to Kris, still feeling the stupid fluttery feeling in his stomach when he’s around him.
“Hey,” Kris says softly, and Junmyeon looks over and gives him a small smile. “How are you feeling?”
“Uh…” Junmyeon thinks that’s sort of an odd question for him to ask. “Fine…”
“So you made it home okay and everything after Saturday?” Kris asks him.
Junmyeon feels the blood drain from his face when he puts two and two together. “Were you…at the same party as me on Saturday night then?”
“Damn, you really were shitfaced,” Kris snorts. “You don’t remember anything then?”
“Uh…no,” Junmyeon admits, then swallows a lump in his throat. “I was pretty out of it.”
“Well that’s…good.” Kris nods.
“Oh no, why?” Junmyeon demands, suddenly nervous. “Did you see me do something terribly embarrassing in front of everyone?”
“Uh…no.” Kris shakes his head.
The bell rings and Professor Lim immediately starts class. Junmyeon can barely focus on anything other than the fact that he needs to now pry any and all other information about his behavior the other night from Chanyeol after class.
~*~*~
“Dude, I’m telling you, I wasn’t around you for a lot of the night,” Chanyeol is trying to get through to Junmyeon for the millionth time.
“Well, where was I?” Junmyeon asks, feeling all fidgety and uncertain.
“Uh…I think at one point I saw you and Kris go out to the backyard together,” Chanyeol finally admits, looking anywhere but Junmyeon.
“Oh no, what did I do?” Junmyeon is trying as hard as he can to remember anything, absolutely anything from that night, but he’s completely drawing a blank. He vows never to take another sip of alcohol again.
“I don’t know, man, I wasn’t there,” Chanyeol points out.
“Did Kris happen to tell you anything at all?”
“Uh…” Chanyeol rubs at the back of his neck. “All that he told me was that you’re a very…talkative drunk.”
The amount of things that could mean makes Junmyeon want to throw himself off the nearest building ledge.
~*~*~
To make matters worse, Junmyeon had been unwilling to deny Kris the request to meet up after school for a tutoring session, since the taller boy was really struggling with this section in his math class. So here he is, sitting in the passenger seat of Kris’s car, trying to stop his leg from bouncing and his palms from sweating and thinking about what he possibly could have said to Kris the other night.
“I don’t exactly live in the same sort of a neighborhood as you,” Kris says, sounding almost apologetic, which Junmyeon thinks is silly, as he drives down the streets on the opposite side of town.
“Well, it’s cool to see a different part of town,” Junmyeon replies, not really sure what else to say to that.
Kris pulls into a parking spot in the small lot for an apartment complex and turns off his car. Junmyeon follows suit unbuckling and climbing out of his seat, following Kris over to one of the doors and waiting awkwardly as he fiddles through his keys before settling on one and unlocking the door. He allows Junmyeon to step in first, then follows after him, shutting the door behind the two of them.
“Mom?” Kris calls, dropping his keys on the coffee table in the living room and throwing his backpack on the floor as well.
No response comes.
Kris shrugs. “She must be at work.”
Junmyeon feels his heart begin to race at the notion of them being here alone at Kris’s house together.
No! he tells his stupid overactive imagination. We’re here for math and nothing more!
Junmyeon doubts he will make it through the afternoon.
Kris just says they can work there in the living room, so they sit down, a little bit too closely on the couch for Junmyeon’s liking, if only because he doesn’t want Kris to hear the ridiculous pounding of his heart inside of his chest. They pull out their textbooks and notebooks and get to work, Junmyeon trying to keep his mind focused on math, just numbers, and not let it wander any further than that.
“I think I did this one wrong, but here,” Kris says, handing Junmyeon his paper after scribbling away at one problem.
Junmyeon looks over the math and it actually all looks correct, and his mind is eating away at him because he really is curious about what Chanyeol told him about Kris saying he was a very talkative drunk because that could just mean so many things, so when he gives the paper back to Kris he can’t help but blurt out, “So Chanyeol said we talked the other night when I was drunk and I was wondering what exactly I...talked about?”
“Oh,” Kris says, taking the paper back and then looking away from Junmyeon. “I don’t know...just a bunch of weird stuff. I mean you were drunk, I didn’t take any of it seriously-”
“Could you still just...I’m just really curious, I honestly can’t remember anything,” Junmyeon all but pleads, desperate and anxious to know.
“Uh...” Kris clears his throat and sets the math paper down atop his books on his lap, looking over at Junmyeon. “You mentioned...that you were a boy scout growing up.”
“Oh.” That’s not bad at all, Junmyeon is rather pleased. “Yeah, I was.”
“Uhm...you also said…” Kris’s eyes divert away from Junmyeon’s once more. “That...you wanted to...uhm...kiss me.”
It takes a beat for the words to settle in, and when they do, Junmyeon feels all the blood drain from his face at the revelation.
“I...” Junmyeon has no idea what he should say but he knows he has to save this situation, fast. “I...well, like you said, I was drunk. I was totally talking nonsense, I mean, wow, I am so sorry you must have been like…I don’t even know, wow, I’m so glad you didn’t take it seriously then-”
“So…you don’t then?” Kris asks, looking Junmyeon straight in the eyes now.
“Don’t…what?” As much as Junmyeon wants to look away from Kris’s intent gaze, he can’t, he’s too entranced by the intensity in those eyes.
“Don’t want to kiss me?” Kris clarifies, voice calm and steady.
“Uh…” Junmyeon knows that he should be vehemently denying it, that he should be screaming of course not! but he can’t seem able to make himself lie when Kris is looking at him like that but he also is so not ready to reveal his very gay feelings to Kris right now so he just once again says, “Uh…”
“Because I’d like to kiss you,” Kris tells him, and Junmyeon’s mind just turns to mush, “if you wanted to.”
KRIS WANTS TO KISS ME Junmyeon’s mind is screaming at him, all confused and excited and nervous and jumbled and he’s frozen in place because how in the world is he supposed to react to what is happening right now?
“Oh…kay?” spills out of Junmyeon’s mouth before he can stop it and it sounds so unsure but also so eager and a second later Kris is placing his books on the coffee table in front of him and then leaning over to gently press his lips against Junmyeon’s.
Junmyeon feels his heart racing quicker than it ever has before in his entire life at the soft feeling of Kris’s mouth against his own, and it’s so simple and sweet and perfect and even though Junmyeon has absolutely no idea what he’s supposed to do, where he’s supposed to place his hands or how to angle his head, he’s so very content with just letting their lips be against one another because wow, it’s making his entire body feel all tingly in a really amazing way.
But then Kris pulls back, looking Junmyeon straight in the widened eyes and he gives him a small smile and asks, “Was that okay?”
“That was…okay,” Junmyeon agrees, totally dazed and in wonder, head nodding on its own accord.
“Good, because I want to do it again,” Kris says, and then he leans over once more.
The angle is a little bit awkward and Junmyeon really still has no clue what to do but he likes this so much and he wants Kris closer to him so he shoves his own books off his lap and brings his arms up to wrap them around Kris’s neck, forcing them closer to one another and man, Kris’s lips really do feel amazing on his own, all soft and smooth and Junmyeon tries to just imitate the motions that Kris is making in hopes that it feels just as good to the taller boy. And then suddenly Kris has his hands on Junmyeon’s hips, and Junmyeon gasps a little when he’s being gripped and sort of tugged from the couch and Kris unattaches their lips for a second to mumble, “Come here,” letting Junmyeon know what he wants as he helps gather Junmyeon on top of his lap, legs straddled over the taller boy’s thighs all of a sudden and all Junmyeon can think is wow.
Kris’s large hands feel really nice where they’re placed on either side of his stomach, and Junmyeon wants to go in for more kissing but he’s a little bit hesitant because he’s never kissed someone before, but he really really likes kissing, especially Kris, because Kris is really good at it, so he goes ahead and tells him, “You’re really good at kissing.”
Kris smirks at him and says, “Thanks, you’re not so bad yourself.”
“Really?” Junmyeon is excited to hear that.
“Hmmm, on second thought, maybe we should kiss more so I can be sure.” And wow was that Kris flirting with Junmyeon? Because that was actually pretty smooth and has Junmyeon blushing but nodding shyly before leaning in a bit hesitantly and placing his lips against Kris’s once more. Kris allows him to have control this time, which Junmyeon kinda freaks out over because he has no clue what he’s doing but he figures he’s doing okay because the way he’s moving his mouth against Kris’s is all butterfly-inducing so he just keeps doing it and doing it some more but then Kris decides to let his tongue poke out of his mouth and run it along Junmyeon’s bottom lip and wow that was really great of him to do.
Junmyeon parts his lips just a little and Kris’s curious tongue immediately sneaks into his mouth, gliding over his bottom teeth and Junmyeon can’t help the moan that he lets out against Kris’s lips because it’s all just so so good and he wants to keep going forever.
Junmyeon shifts himself a little bit on top of Kris, bringing their bodies closer together and oh whoa he suddenly becomes aware that he’s hard when his erection presses slightly into Kris’s stomach.
“Uhh…” Junmyeon says, pulling his face away from Kris’s, his entire body on fire over this sudden realization, because what is he supposed to do now?
“You okay?” Kris asks him, sounding concerned, thick brows knitted together in question.
“I…” Junmyeon is trying to put more of a distance between themselves as he wiggles his hips backwards, but Kris’s hands are strong on his hips, keeping him in place, and so the squirming is probably only making his little predicament more noticeable.
“What’s up, Junmyeon?” Kris asks him, noticing that Junmyeon now seems a little bit uncomfortable.
“I…” Junmyeon glances down then looks back at Kris. “I’m sorry, I got…I got…”
Kris looks down too and then chuckles when he realizes what Junmyeon is talking about. “Why would you apologize for that?” And then the taller boy is angling his own hips upwards off the couch, causing his own arousal to press into Junmyeon’s and Oh my God that felt really good Junmyeon thinks as he bites his lower lip.
“I’m hard too, Junmyeon,” Kris points out the now obvious and Junmyeon is too embarrassed to meet his eyes again because this is all just too new and confusing and amazing and just a lot for him to try and handle all at once right now.
Then suddenly Kris’s hands make their way to the front of Junmyeon’s jeans and he’s unbuttoning them and sliding the zipper down over Junmyeon’s hard-on causing a jolt to run up and down his spine and Kris then places his large palm against the front of Junmyeon’s underwear and grips him through it and Junmyeon lets out and embarrassingly high whimper at the sensation, because no one but himself has ever touched him here this way, and so the fact that it’s happening right now paired with the fact that it’s Kris doing it, wow, Junmyeon doesn’t know how he isn’t spontaneously combusting.
Junmyeon steadies himself, latching his arms securely around Kris’s neck as his lab partner pumps his erection through his underwear and it feels so good, so so perfect, he’s never felt anything so wonderful in his entire life. It only takes a few mere tugs from Kris’s large hand before Junmyeon feels himself coming, rocking his hips up into Kris’s hand as he does, dirtying the front of his underwear in the process.
Junmyeon is breathing hard as he comes down from his orgasm, Kris still languidly palming at his length. Once the feeling washes over him, he freezes up, realizing what exactly just happened and going into panic-mode.
“Oh my God,” he mumbles, unwrapping his arms from around Kris’s shoulders and wriggling his way off of Kris’s lap, immediately redoing his pants back up with shaky hands. “Oh my God.”
“Junmyeon, what-?” Kris is asking, but Junmyeon cuts him off.
“I…I have to go,” he lies, shoving his notebooks and pencils back into his backpack as quickly as he can and hoping that his cheeks are not actually as red as they feel.
“Junmyeon, why are you suddenly freaking-?”
“I just…” Junmyeon shakes his head as he goes to the door to slip on his shoes and then Kris is suddenly there, grabbing a hold of his wrist.
“Wait,” Kris begs, trying to get Junmyeon to look at him.
The shorter boy wretches his arm from Kris’s hand, still shaking his head, muttering, “I just have to go,” before rushing out of the door with an untied sneaker and an unzipped backpack and a heart beating so loudly in his chest, he’s sure Kris can still hear it even as he runs down the sidewalk to find the nearest bus stop.
~*~*~
“I just think it’s beneficial for students to work with a wide variety of other students,” Junmyeon is explaining to Professor Lim then next morning before school starts. “Because it introduces them to new study habits and work techniques that may have been successful with their other classmates.”
Professor Lim is nodding thoughtfully as he speaks, absorbing what he is telling her.
“You are such a bright young man, Junmyeon,” she tells him, then flips open a file folder on her desk and starts going through it. “I am going to start making up the new seating chart now. It’ll be done by the time your class period starts.”
Junmyeon lets out a large sigh of relief he didn’t even realize he was holding.
~*~*~
Junmyeon’s not catholic, yet here he is, sitting on the other side of the confession booth, saying, “I’ve done something terribly wrong, Father…”
When he doesn’t continue right away, the priest prompts him, “I’ve heard many a sin, young man. Go on.”
“Uh…” Junmyeon suddenly feels a little bit suspicious over the voice. “I just…”
“Confessing your sins will lighten the heavy burden on your heart.”
“Yeah, uhm, nevermind…” Junmyeon decides, standing up and walking out of there, because he was like 99% sure that was Siwon’s voice he just heard in there, and there was no way he was about to admit his homosexual tendencies to the former TLP president.
Junmyeon can’t help but wonder why everything in the world seems so out of sorts to him lately.
~*~*~*~
Junmyeon has been doing a rather superb job of avoiding Kris since the whole…thing that happened at his house last week, and he’s rather proud of himself for that. The most difficult is avoiding him during their anatomy class together, but Professor Lim went through with changing the seating arrangements, placing Junmyeon with Minseok and Kris with Chanyeol, and so as long as Junmyeon carefully calculates when to get to class and leave class and how to work during lab time, it’s easy to keep from coming into contact with the taller boy, for which he is very grateful.
“Seriously though, dude,” Chanyeol is saying after school while giving Junmyeon a ride home, “Kris is like flipping out every day asking me to try to get you to talk to him. What the fuck even happened?”
“Nothing,” Junmyeon says for the billionth time, because he really doesn’t want to relive the experience by explaining it to Chanyeol.
“Did you guys fuck?”
“Chanyeol, please,” Junmyeon rolls his eyes. “It’s seriously nothing, I just don’t want to talk to him-”
“Whatever, man,” Chanyeol says, shaking his head as he stops his car in front of Junmyeon’s house. “He just seems really upset over it, so I feel bad for the guy-”
“Thanks for the ride, Chanyeol,” Junmyeon says hastily, not wanting to hear anymore. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Chanyeol just rolls his eyes in response and drives away once Junmyeon closes the car door.
Junmyeon tries not to think about it, but he can’t help but think about it, the whole thing that happened with Kris. It’s the only thing that’s been on his mind since it happened, and he thinks about it while he tries to get his homework done, and all through dinner as his parents are asking him about school and TLP and any progress with Chorong, and he’s still thinking about it when he’s trying to fall asleep but instead is kept up tossing and turning because he can’t take his stupid mind off of it.
“Urgh,” Junmyeon groans, burying his face in one of his pillows as he contemplates what he’s going to do about this sad, gay little life of his.
And now he’s definitely not going to get any sleep because there’s some sudden insistent tapping coming from the other side of the room that’s driving him mad.
“Urgh,” he mutters again, throwing the sheets off of his body and stumbling over to see what the hell the noise might be. He peers around his desk, but then soon realizes that the noise is coming from his window. Junmyeon slowly pulls the curtain to the side and then gets a shock when something small and black hits the glass right in front of his face. He looks down and oh no, Kris is down there at the side of his house, waving a hand at Junmyeon as he lets the rest of his pebbles fall out of his hand back onto the ground next to him.
Junmyeon needs to get him out of here before either of his parents wake up and find him there, forcing him to have to explain, and God knows that would not be a pretty situation. “What are you doing here?” he whisper-yells down to Kris after sliding the window open as quietly as he could.
“I just want to fucking talk to you, Junmyeon,” Kris tells him, throwing his hands up in the air as if defeated. “But you speed off whenever I’m even like within twenty feet of you at school.”
“I…” Junmyeon doesn’t know what to say. “How did you know which window was mine?”
“I had to pay fucking Chanyeol to tell me,” Kris admits, sounding a bit put off by that fact.
The volume they have to talk at to hear one another is making Junmyeon a little nervous, so he says, “Okay, hold on, let me just…just hold on.” And then he drops the curtain back down against the window and rushes downstairs. He stops at the front door when he briefly considers the fact that he’s in plaid pajama pants and a plain white shirt, then figures it could have been much worse, and heads outside and around to the side of the house to where Kris is standing with his hands in that stupid nice leather jacket of his.
“What are you doing here, Kris?” he asks him once more, keeping about two feet of distance between them, arms crossed protectively over his chest.
“I missed you,” Kris tells him, and Junmyeon immediately feels his stomach start to get all fluttery. “Why’d you run off right after I jerked you off the other day?”
Junmyeon feels his entire face heat up at the reminder and the blunt way Kris put it, unable to keep looking him in the eyes as he mumbles, “I just…I’m not…”
“Look, Chanyeol kinda told me how you’re sorta going through some kind of like inner turmoil cuz you’re like Christian and gay or whatever, but I really really like you and I just wanna know why you freaked out-”
“You like me?” Junmyeon asks, a little stunned in place.
Kris gives him a look like it should be obvious. “Yeah,” he answers. “I don’t shove my hand down just anyone’s pants, Junmyeon.”
Junmyeon feels himself blush and looks down at the ground, mumbling, “I just…I don’t know how to feel about all this, I’m so confused-”
Then suddenly Kris’s lips are pressed against his, soft and smooth and perfect and Junmyeon is too shocked to react before Kris pulls away, saying, “Sorry, I had to, you’re just so damn cute.”
Junmyeon didn’t think his face could get any redder, but he feels it heat up even further.
“Look, as mixed as your signals are,” Kris continues, realizing Junmyeon is a bit lost for words at the moment, “I’m kinda under the impression that you like me too, and even though I know you’re all confused and stuff, which is totally understandable, but if you’re up for it, I’d really like to take you out on a date...or something.”
“A date?” Junmyeon repeats, looking back up at Kris curiously.
“Yeah.” Kris nods. “We can…like go to church or something if that’s what you want?”
Junmyeon chuckles and shakes his head. “Our first date doesn’t have to be at church.”
Kris sighs. “Oh, good, thank God.”
“Maybe...dinner and a movie, though?” Junmyeon suggests, shrugging.
“Cliché,” Kris points out, but nods. “Perfect, let’s make it this Friday at eight.”
Junmyeon just nods as well, his heart rate once again going wild thanks to Kris, which he realizes he’s probably going to have to get used to.
~*~*~*~
“Wow, Jun, didn’t think you were the kind of guy that put out on the first date,” Kris comments as Junmyeon awkwardly fumbles around, trying to get the taller boy’s jeans undone.
Junmyeon feels himself go red and stops what he was doing, dropping his head into his hands instead.
“I’m kidding,” Kris says, laughing softly as he tries to tug Junmyeon’s hands from his face. “Come on, I’m sorry, you know I’m just messing around.”
“I’m just…nervous,” Junmyeon replies, “because I really want to do this but I’m…I’m a virgin and-”
“Really? I never would have guessed,” Kris says sarcastically.
“Kris,” Junmyeon whines, moving back to remove himself from his place atop Kris’s hips on his bed.
“Okay, okay, I’m done teasing,” Kris promises, grabbing at Junmyeon’s wrist to keep him where he is. “I’m sorry, you just make it too easy, baby.”
Junmyeon’s belly gets all warm at the nickname and he looks down at his fingers that he’s twirling around nervously. “Are you sure your mom won’t be home anytime soon?”
“Positive,” Kris assures him, grabbing both of Junmyeon’s hands and lacing them within his own. “Don’t be so nervous, Junmyeon, we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”
“That’s the thing, though,” Junmyeon says, still not meeting Kris’s gaze. “I really, really want to…”
“Well, then,” Kris mutters, playing with the hem of Junmyeon’s shirt between his fingers, as if asking for permission.
Junmyeon decides he need to stop freaking out so much, cuz like he just said, he wants this, dammit. He needs to learn how to not overthink everything.
Junmyeon tries to just focus on the shedding of clothes and the exposure of skin and the way Kris is making him feel so comfortable about everything despite how riled up he is, and wow, he’s really hard, but it feels good because Kris now has him settled on his back and is in between Junmyeon’s spread legs, grinding their erections against one another with nothing but their underwear in the way and Junmyeon thinks it’s just a really amazing feeling.
“Ah, Kris,” he groans, biting his lower lip as his hips cant up to meet Kris’s, and the taller boy groans before he suddenly removes himself from Junmyeon and from the bed.
“Ugh,” Junmyeon complains, looking over to see Kris looking in his dresser drawer. “Why did you-?”
“Are you sure you’re okay with me fucking you, Junmyeon?” Kris asks him as he walks back to the bed with a condom and a little bottle in his hands.
Junmyeon just blushes and looks away because of the language, he doesn’t even really know why, he just can’t help it.
“Sorry, too crude for you?” Kris asks, then says, “How about just are you sure I can have sex with you, Junmyeon?”
“Yes,” Junmyeon answers quietly, still not meeting Kris’s gaze.
“God, you’re so cute,” Kris says before leaning down and placing a quick kiss on his lips. Then suddenly Junmyeon feels his boxer briefs being pulled down and he tries to resist blushing even more when Kris says, “Spread your legs a little more, baby.”
Junmyeon complies and gulps, knowing what’s coming next thanks to the helpful videos from the internet.
“Tell me if you want me to stop,” Kris says as he squeezes the lube out onto a couple of his fingers, smearing it around to coat them.
Junmyeon just nods, and then Kris leans in and brings his hand down to circle at Junmyeon’s entrance. The shorter boy gasps at the entirely unfamiliar sensation, feeling himself tense up a bit when Kris’s finger tries to push its way inside of him.
“You gotta relax, baby,” Kris says, leaning down and pressing a sweet kiss to Junmyeon’s lips, trying to get him to calm down a bit.
“Mmmm,” Junmyeon mumbles in reply against Kris’s lips, and then starts and bucks his hips upwards when Kris lightly grips his hardened length, still working a single finger slowly into his backside.
“You alright, Jun?” he asks softly, looking down straight into Junmyeon’s eyes.
Junmyeon just nods, not trusting his voice right now, as Kris’s finger wiggles its way further inside of him. He slowly gets used to the intrusive sensation, feeling stretched and full but not entirely uncomfortably so.
“Do you think I can try to add another?” Kris asks him, and Junmyeon flushes at the realization of Kris being so concerned with making sure he’s okay.
“Yeah,” he agrees, nodding. He grips hard onto Kris’s shoulders above him when he feels the second finger make its way in next to the first. Kris’s other hand is still just settled around his erection, pumping it only the slightest bit, probably cuz he’s too focused on trying to make Junmyeon feel as comfortable as possible what with the fingers up his butt and all.
And then suddenly, whoa, Junmyeon sees stars when Kris’s now scissoring fingers brush lightly against this special spot inside of him. He unconsciously pushes his hips downwards into Kris’s ministrations, trying to get the same thing to happen again, but Kris appears to be focusing more on just getting him stretched around the rim and not going as far as he could be, and Junmyeon is only slightly perturbed by that, but he feels too silly to say anything about it. So instead he just tries to unnoticeably wiggle himself around to force Kris’s fingers onto that spot again, but it’s just not happening.
“God, I want to fuck you so badly,” Kris mumbles from above, suddenly removing his fingers from inside of Junmyeon and his other hand from around his cock. He reaches back for the condom he’d grabbed earlier, and Junmyeon just lies there, spread and waiting and still a little bit overwhelmed with everything, but so far it’s all felt so good and pleasurable, albeit a little bit awkward, but isn’t everyone’s first time at least kind of awkward? He sure hopes so.
He doesn’t have time to think of that anymore, though, because he’s too busy watching as Kris rolls the condom down onto his length, and oh man, that’s going to go inside of him in the very near future, and Kris is leaning back down over Junmyeon, arms settled on either side of his chest to hover over Junmyeon before he bends his neck forward and kisses Junmyeon softly, asking, “Ready?”
“Ready,” Junmyeon agrees, and then gulps.
And then Kris reaches down and grabs himself to help guide his way into Junmyeon and, wow Kris is a lot bigger than he looked like he would be, and Junmyeon is trying not to tense up too much, because it’s uncomfortable but also not uncomfortable and actually feels sort of really nice, and so it’s hard for him to decide what he’d prefer at the moment.
“You alright, baby?” Kris asks him as he continues pushing forward slowly.
“Uhm, yes?” Junmyeon answers, and it sounds like a question because he’s not really sure. He reaches down and begins stroking himself because he thinks that will help and it does, it’s starting to feel better little by little.
Junmyeon is pretty sure Kris isn’t all the way in before he decides to pull out and plunge back in again a couple of times, and the friction around his entrance is really unusual, but he’s also really getting into it, so he begins pumping himself in time with Kris’s slow thrusts. Kris then decides to grab at the back of one of Junmyeon’s thighs, pushing it up just the slightest, and when he thrusts forward the next time, he’s hitting Junmyeon right on the spot where he earlier had stroked him with his fingers, and Junmyeon reacts to that by swiping his thumb over the head of his erection, and that’s all it takes before the shorter boy is already coming, pumping himself through his orgasm as he spills messily onto his stomach and hand.
Junmyeon’s body falls back against the bed; he hadn’t even realized he’s been arching up into Kris, hadn’t really realized a lot of things, because again, he was overwhelmed. But it was all so good, it was unlike anything he’d ever experienced before in his life, and he’s a little disappointed when he feels Kris pulling out of him, the overpowering sensation of emptiness overcoming him as he continues to come down from the high.
Junmyeon is panting slightly when starts settling back into reality, noticing that Kris is still hovering above him, just looking down at him with a slight smirk on his face. Junmyeon blushes (what’s new?) and looks away from him, gaze settling down on Kris’s still hardened length now resting outside of him.
“Oh,” Junmyeon says, then reaches down and grabs hold of it, realizing he should probably return the favor.
“Fuck,” Kris gasps, not having been exactly ready for that.
Junmyeon strokes Kris the way he likes to stroke himself, and he thinks that it’s okay, because Kris’s face twists up in what he assumes and hopes is pleasure. Junmyeon smiles to himself and begins pumping faster, pausing only to roll the condom off of the taller boy.
“Here, lay back,” Junmyeon says, letting go of Kris and using his hands to shove lightly against his chest. Kris just goes with it, listening to whatever Junmyeon has to say, and winds up being the one lying on his back this time. Junmyeon crawls down a little bit and grabs hold of Kris’s length once more, rubbing it a few times before he darts his tongue out to lick at the tip of it.
“Fuck, Junmyeon,” Kris grumbles, throwing his head back against the headboard of his bed. Junmyeon thinks that sounded like it hurts, but he continues his task at hand, widening his lips to take in a little bit at a time.
Junmyeon just tries to do it like how he saw in the videos, swirling his tongue around and making sure to use his hands as well. But it apparently doesn’t work, because Kris is suddenly pushing at Junmyeon’s shoulders, muttering, “Stop,” and Junmyeon feels embarrassed, but the feeling only lasts a second because then Kris is suddenly spurting out onto his face, and Junmyeon’s too shocked to even think to pump him through his orgasm.
“Uh,” Junmyeon says eloquently, feeling a little bit of the sticky substance slide down his cheek to his jaw.
“Fuck,” Kris mutters, throwing his head back once more. “I didn’t want to come in your mouth.”
“Why not?” Junmyeon isn’t sure if he should be offended or not.
“I wasn’t sure if you’d be okay with it.” Kris shrugs, then holds a hand out, beckoning Junmyeon. The shorter bow crawls back up in between Kris’s legs until he’s on his knees in front of the other boy.
“Shit, that's hot,” Kris mumbles, eyes tracing the places on Junmyeon’s face where he can feel the come dripping down his skin.
“I would’ve been okay if you…came in my mouth,” Junmyeon tells him, because he wants Kris to know…for next time maybe?
“Shit, you’re killing me, Junmyeon,” Kris says, shaking his head back and forth before leaning in and kissing Junmyeon on the lips once. “So do you still think you’ll be able to be president of that virginity club thing now that you’re…well, not really a virgin anymore?” Kris asks, looking at Junmyeon with genuine curiosity on his face.
“Well, I’ve also watched porn, masturbated and…am gay,” Junmyeon points out, shrugging, “so no…I don't think TLP would really be into me anymore."
"I'm still into you," Kris says, smirking at Junmyeon. "But thank God you're done with that club."
Thank God indeed, Junmyeon thinks, not even really sure what he’s thanking the Big Guy for, but it’s probably something really gay and sinful, because he thinks it as he leans in to kiss Kris once more.
~*~*~*~
A/N: ps anyone wanna beta my shitty ass krisho fics from now on?
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