How much to share?

[dr_bagelman]

I know that our marriage's largest stumbling block originated from my sharing too much with too many random people.  Those of you who know me well enough, [all 3 of you who know] know what I'm hinting at.

So how many of my entries should I make public? I have many friends tiers I'm creating, but how to decide which tiers access what?  Who gets to

Comments

[angelscry09]

Well this is a good question.....I have had a couple of journals that had a wide range of the amount of info I shared. I've been very selective on some and very open on others.

This is the thing for me at this stage in my marriage and life.

I am grasping at all kinds of straws including the lj community and it's users to pull any advise or life experiences to assist me with my marriage. I am willing to put it all out there with this lj in the hopes maybe it'll help me/my marriage.

Just my two cents....

[dr_bagelman]

Does he read your journal, or do you at least read excerpts to him? I'd hate to think that I'm among the people who are privy to your darkest thoughts and he isn't.

journals are a good place to collect thoughts, and if you let others read it, he should be the first person to know important things. My wife has her own tier of privacy, her own friends group, so when I make private entries that I think she might learn from, I can tell her to log in.

I've found that I have a bad habit of telling everyone but my wife, and she's the last to know how I feel. Sometimes, she's surprised, and wishes she'd known sooner. You'd be surprised what you can learn from talking to the man directly involved. Not yelling, or accusing, just expressing how you feel about things.

Try reading some self-help books on psychology, relationships, etc. They can put you in a better frame of mind to do this.

[angelscry09]

Hey! He has my username and password and has the ability to log in and see it whenever he wants. We talked about this yesterday actually and we in and read EVERYTHING that I have ever written in the lj which was nice. He was able to see things from my perspective. We didn't talk too much about it, but he knows. I certainly don't want to keep him from it.

The problem we had was with "another" lj that I had that was VERY private and spoke of fantasies, thoughts, etc... that I really didn't want to share with ANYBODY that knew me in real life. I wanted to be able to be ranchy, hateful, etc.. and not be judged in real life. He found out about that journal and we had issues for a while last year about it but I have let that go and now just use this one which he has access too. I still often feel the need to express myself and not be judged but I don't have an outlet.....ah well. It's my decision and the price I pay to keep him more comfortable.