Dear Merlin ( Read more... )

All right, munchkins, let's work on getting these eggs colored so they're ready for the Easter Bunny! . . . No, we aren't going to eat them just yet. And since when do you eat eggs, anyway? You do not, you argue that they look like snot and refuse to touch them---have I got to put memories of this into Papa's pensieve as proof? Don't test me, ( Read more... )

Tellingly, Potter has been casting forlorn glances toward my desk of late, so I decided to surprise his kinky arse by posing innocently and filling out an unnecessary stack of paperwork in nothing but a white button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up. Not that he deserved it, as he recently allowed my supply of bacon to wither into nothingness ( Read more... )

I came to the realization that it was my responsibility as a father to manufacture an opportunity for The King to spend time with his new little friend, seeing as my decision to teach the next generation at home rather spells disaster for him ever finding local friends his own age. Since I was feeling both benevolent and energetic courtesy of a ( Read more... )

As a rite of passage, Mother decided it was time that we and the birthday girl enjoyed a leisurely spa weekend, to mark the occasion of My Angel turning the ripe old age of seven. I hadn't been dragged along to the spa since before my first year of Hogwarts (or, in other words, the age when I finally found a sense of shame by cohabitating with ( Read more... )

I've been feeling out of sorts. Now that Granger has ousted me from most of the renovation goings on, I find myself shuffling about listlessly with very little to do. I suppose I should be focusing on that godforsaken fundraising event, but even that leaves a bitter taste in my mouth that only mass quantities of my preferred pork products can ( Read more... )

Against my better judgment, I brought Frederic home with me one night this week. With adequate cause, however. Granger, being the clever bint that she generally is, discovered a charm in an old travel pamphlet meant for wizards traveling abroad. This charm is intended to allow two-way communication between tourists and locals, provided both ( Read more... )

In what I feel was a rather slick exchange, I bartered in-house salon services for a number of needy orphans in exchange for a weekend escape in Cannes, complete with complimentary child-minding. What I truly got out of the plan were two extra party guests for Oscar's birthday extravaganza tomorrow, since he obviously hasn't got an endless supply ( Read more... )

So. We were summoned to the Ministry about the amazing disappearing Goyle. Thankfully, Potter had enough sway to keep us from the indignity of being dosed with Veritaserum, but I don't feel we were entirely believable with our story of Goyle dropping Oscar on our doorstep for a Boxing Day filled with fun and games, and then simply not bothering ( Read more... )

It isn't poisoned, if that's what you're thinking. Though it might be rubbish, I don't know. It's the price you pay for handmade apology tea.