Body swap en masse
anonymous
June 18 2011, 17:00:10 UTC
Cue crazy magical boom. Everybody swaps body in the funniest, craziest manner and each of them are struggling to cope or taking full advantage of it
For example: Isabela in Sebastian's body, eager to get naked to see what is under the shiny armour Sebastian in f!Hawke's body trailing after Isabela to make sure she doesn't debauch his body.
Fenris in Anders', having to deal with magic and Justice. Anders in Carver's attempting to teach Fenris how not to torch the place down and to learn not to lob someone's head off with the massive sword
Merrill in Varric's, feeling both amused and disturbed by the company that the dwarf keeps Varric in Aveline's doing his best to protect Daisy from the rabid mob
Aveline in Isabela's oh-so-lush booty, discovering the awesome power of feminine wiles
Carver in Merrill's body, getting an understanding what it is to have magic Hawke in Fenris', probably getting high from all that lyrium
All slash, pairings, orgies and genre welcomed! Different swaps also welcomed :)
Everyone/Everyone "Sometimes these things just happen?" Bodyswap extravaganza
anonymous
June 19 2011, 05:11:53 UTC
OP, I apologize in advance for this. I started typing and crazy things came out.
**
Nothing good ever came out of the Black Emporium. She ought to know that by now - Xenon had an invisible statue of naked Andraste for crying out loud, not to mention that box that screamed at you and that mirror that could take your wrinkles away.
Okay, well, maybe there was nothing wrong with the mirror. But the rest of the stuff… And it wasn’t like Xenon helped the situation at all, the creepifying desiccated old mage (she thought) who sat there in the midst of all his cursed treasure like some kind of disgusting old dragon. He was only too happy to help his “clients” get themselves into trouble.
Really, though, they ought to have learned their lesson about coming into that place. After all, it wasn’t as though it hadn’t caused its share of horrible misadventures. Like the time Fenris turned into a cat for two weeks, or when she and Merrill had imbibed what they’d thought were healing potions, only to be transformed into tiny pint-sized
( ... )
Re: Everyone/Everyone "Sometimes these things just happen?" 3/?
anonymous
June 19 2011, 05:19:22 UTC
Aveline had never enjoyed sleeping alone. Oh, that was nothing she’d ever share with any of her friends, of course; they all thought she was the rough tough guardswoman from Ferelden who didn’t take any crap off anyone (and that was true, naturally), but there was just something about waking up next to someone else that got her whole day off to a good start.
And even Guard-Captains had mornings when they didn’t want to get out of bed.
She rolled over with her eyes closed to throw an arm over Donnic, murmuring happily and snuggling into his warm back.
And then another arm flung itself over her and her eyes shot wide open. There was something soft pressing against her back that she had a sneaking suspicion were a pair of breasts, which was made only more alarming due to the fact that she - and the breasts - were both naked
( ... )
Re: Everyone/Everyone "Sometimes these things just happen?" 3/?
anonymous
June 19 2011, 05:22:33 UTC
The first thing he saw when he opened his eyes was Andraste’s face, staring at him from across the room with beady eyes peering out of a belt buckle. It was enough to make him scream like a little girl
( ... )
Re: Everyone/Everyone "Sometimes these things just happen?" 5/?
anonymous
June 19 2011, 05:25:51 UTC
Damn you numbering fail! Previous part is part 4. This is part 5. Welcome to part 5!
**
“What’s wrong honey?” Donnic said, looking confused and a little hurt at the way his wife was hiding most of her pale, naked body behind a pillow.
“Donnic. Riiiight. Okay, here’s the thing, guy.” Varric had decided to tread carefully; it’d been quite a while since he was in one of these sorts of situations and-
No, scratch that. He’d never been in this kind of situation. There wasn’t once in his life that he could remember waking up a) in the body of a human, b) in the body of a human woman, c) in the body of a human woman who could kill him with her bare hands, or d) next to the husband of said human woman with the death grip
( ... )
Re: Everyone/Everyone "Sometimes these things just happen?" 6/?
anonymous
June 19 2011, 05:29:32 UTC
Her feet didn’t touch the floor when she swung her legs over the edge of the bed. Instead, they dangled about a foot from it, and she kicked them in the air, fascinated by the movement.
It was almost as fascinating, she had to admit, as the fabulous wealth of chest hair that sprouted all over her torso. Luxurious chest hair. Thick chest hair. Soft and silky like the fur of one of those posh Hightown dogs that shit all over everything, only better because it undoubtedly was Varric’s chest hair, and everyone in Kirkwall knew that the dwarf had the manliest chest hair to ever manly Manly-town.
Or at least, Isabela thought they should know. If they didn’t know, she intended to show them.
But, after all, first things first.
“Oh, Bianca,” she purred, disturbed and aroused in equal measure at the way her words sounded coming out in Varric’s voice. “I’ve been waiting a long, long time.”
Re: Everyone/Everyone "Sometimes these things just happen?" 6/?
anonymous
June 19 2011, 05:36:40 UTC
BRB write!anon, first I must resurrect myself for I am ded.
In particular of all of these Varric with Donnic and Isabela with Bianca are my favorites, but they're all hysterical. Please to be giving us more sweet, sweet crack.
Re: Everyone/Everyone "Sometimes these things just happen?" 6/?
anonymous
June 19 2011, 05:48:53 UTC
This is HILARIOUS. Like can't breathe, tears rolling down my cheeks, uproarious. I am hard-pressed to choose a favorite, but Aveline, Sebastian and Merrill waking up in bed together as Hawke/Fenris/Isabela might take the cake. Though the rest were all epic as well.
For example:
Isabela in Sebastian's body, eager to get naked to see what is under the shiny armour
Sebastian in f!Hawke's body trailing after Isabela to make sure she doesn't debauch his body.
Fenris in Anders', having to deal with magic and Justice.
Anders in Carver's attempting to teach Fenris how not to torch the place down and to learn not to lob someone's head off with the massive sword
Merrill in Varric's, feeling both amused and disturbed by the company that the dwarf keeps
Varric in Aveline's doing his best to protect Daisy from the rabid mob
Aveline in Isabela's oh-so-lush booty, discovering the awesome power of feminine wiles
Carver in Merrill's body, getting an understanding what it is to have magic
Hawke in Fenris', probably getting high from all that lyrium
All slash, pairings, orgies and genre welcomed! Different swaps also welcomed :)
Reply
seconded!
Reply
Reply
**
Nothing good ever came out of the Black Emporium. She ought to know that by now - Xenon had an invisible statue of naked Andraste for crying out loud, not to mention that box that screamed at you and that mirror that could take your wrinkles away.
Okay, well, maybe there was nothing wrong with the mirror. But the rest of the stuff… And it wasn’t like Xenon helped the situation at all, the creepifying desiccated old mage (she thought) who sat there in the midst of all his cursed treasure like some kind of disgusting old dragon. He was only too happy to help his “clients” get themselves into trouble.
Really, though, they ought to have learned their lesson about coming into that place. After all, it wasn’t as though it hadn’t caused its share of horrible misadventures. Like the time Fenris turned into a cat for two weeks, or when she and Merrill had imbibed what they’d thought were healing potions, only to be transformed into tiny pint-sized ( ... )
Reply
Reply
And even Guard-Captains had mornings when they didn’t want to get out of bed.
She rolled over with her eyes closed to throw an arm over Donnic, murmuring happily and snuggling into his warm back.
And then another arm flung itself over her and her eyes shot wide open. There was something soft pressing against her back that she had a sneaking suspicion were a pair of breasts, which was made only more alarming due to the fact that she - and the breasts - were both naked ( ... )
Reply
Reply
**
“What’s wrong honey?” Donnic said, looking confused and a little hurt at the way his wife was hiding most of her pale, naked body behind a pillow.
“Donnic. Riiiight. Okay, here’s the thing, guy.” Varric had decided to tread carefully; it’d been quite a while since he was in one of these sorts of situations and-
No, scratch that. He’d never been in this kind of situation. There wasn’t once in his life that he could remember waking up a) in the body of a human, b) in the body of a human woman, c) in the body of a human woman who could kill him with her bare hands, or d) next to the husband of said human woman with the death grip ( ... )
Reply
It was almost as fascinating, she had to admit, as the fabulous wealth of chest hair that sprouted all over her torso. Luxurious chest hair. Thick chest hair. Soft and silky like the fur of one of those posh Hightown dogs that shit all over everything, only better because it undoubtedly was Varric’s chest hair, and everyone in Kirkwall knew that the dwarf had the manliest chest hair to ever manly Manly-town.
Or at least, Isabela thought they should know. If they didn’t know, she intended to show them.
But, after all, first things first.
“Oh, Bianca,” she purred, disturbed and aroused in equal measure at the way her words sounded coming out in Varric’s voice. “I’ve been waiting a long, long time.”
Reply
Reply
In particular of all of these Varric with Donnic and Isabela with Bianca are my favorites, but they're all hysterical. Please to be giving us more sweet, sweet crack.
Reply
Captcha: community eyounts
Reply
Reply
Reply
Oh, will Justice protect Anders virtue? Oh the endless possibilities of lulz.
Will await more.
Reply
No apologies necessary, AA! You are the paragon of awesomeness! And I love your swaps!!!!
Look! I'm a firefly! ROTFLMAO
please, ser, can I have more? ♥
Reply
Leave a comment