Almost forgot the name/pass to this page. It's been so long for me on this forum. I've had a little bit going on in my life. First major change is that I'm no longer dating the same girl. She and I broke up amicably and I was trying to change myself around to be who i needed to be to be with her again, and realized I wouldn't be ever again. I tried ( Read more... )

I almost forgot i had one of these. holy crap it's been a while. I haven't even been on this to look at other people's updates. I feel like a slacker. Sigh. I'm sure I'll fix it soon enough. Just not tonight! more drinking and mellow thoughts to come.

I can't shake the feeling that I'm really going nowhere and dragging my girlfriend along with me. I know I'm just tired and broke and tired of being broke, but it seems the only thing I do is disappoint her and now I'm getting depressed myself. All the money I save goes away to bills I can't even pay off in full and things only seem to get worse. I ( Read more... )

Now that I've come and gone I'm a little more secure with who and what I am. I think a big portion of that is just reaffirming how much they love me and just the basic familial connection. I didn't remember a lot of what they live every day and how much they really think about me, but I do love how much they do and how good they are as people. I ( Read more... )

I'm sorry I haven't been able to read much in the way of journals lately. I'm sorry for all of that.
This being said, I have to ponder.

When your life looks like it's only happening to hurt you what do you do?

Walking into the bedroom with everything strewn about watching him throw things left and right over his shoulders from a luggage bag on the bed wondering why he's unpacking for his trip later that day. He looks up at you and says, 'what do you mean unpacking? I'm just getting rid of the excess baggage ( Read more... )

Ok, I'm sorry for sounding like the most depressed man in America, but it's really not that bad. Things just keep piling up and I seem to only really post on the bad days. I don't get it but that's just the way it is pretty much. So today's joy is how I can't seem to get my heart to stop racing and I can't get much right at work. I'm not sure why ( Read more... )

So I think things are getting better. I'm working through most of my debt and hopefully when I get my next paycheck I won't have to borrow money to get through a month. I'm officially no longer living on my own since I had to get that help, but I suppose that things could be worse. She could have told me to suck it. For the most part I'm going ( Read more... )

I keep thinking about all the old days when things were so different. I don't know if it's a good thing or not or how much I've actually changed, but when I look back on things it really does feel like story time...all the old people I used to know and the choices I made that seemed so inconsequential at the time (they still are but they just seem ( Read more... )

I keep walking into things. Stupid little things and yeah, it hurts, but not as much as I'm feeling. This seems like some kind of metaphor or message I should really be paying attention to. I just don't know what's metaphored for what here.