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Parenting
I'm not saying that I'm a perfect parent and shouldn't occasionally have an outside voice to keep me on the right track, what I am saying is that nobody deserves to be treated like they are a bad parent when their child is healthy, happy, and doing wonderfully in school ( Read more... ) -
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Sinking,
reaching for the colors above,
surrounded by the monotony of others.
dark redsssss, sweet baby blues,
tender violets.
reaching, reaching, reaching,
but sinking...
holding onto blossoming shreds of light,
pouring sustenance into the wilting,
giving, giving, giving,
and sinking... -
Life as far as I know it.
I'm starting to get a little frustrated with the curveballs thrown my direction lately. Have I made the right choices in life? Is it normal to think bad things? Is it fair to have to watch every move I make in my personal life so that it can't be thrown back in my face? What do I have to do to get my brain to shut off for a moments peace. I ( Read more... ) -
Thank God for Sisters in Law
So over the last couple days, Bill has been giving me guff about Aidan and how all of the sudden he wants all of these things to start happening like Aidan (direct quote) "needs to bare" his last name, and I need to leave Aidan alone with him. He's f***in retarded if he thinks that's going to happen after only meeting Aidan twice. Anyways he ( Read more... ) -
Why am I crazy?
I can't figure out why I don't have control of any of my emotions lately.
Why am I so angry?
I should be happy somebody else is happy...
ShouIdn't I?
I feel betryed by my own optimism.
Life would turn out exactly the way I dreamed it would.
Dumb! -
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I'm starting to seriously wonder how life is supposed to play out. How does somebody know when they're truly happy, or just really depressed. It's like high school in reverse. I watch the brick wall move farther and farther away and ask myself what am I waiting for. Is it love, success, happiness, boredom of the status quo? I don't know what I ( Read more... ) -
I know it's my fault
I kind of thought things would be getting easier. After I gave birth I thought the horomones would go away and that my emotions wouldn't be in such chaos all of the freakin time. I know that this whole mess is my fault (an when I say that, I don't mean that I have any resentments what so ever toward Aidan. I love him more than I ever thought ( Read more... ) -
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I cannot wait to get my licence back. Life will be so much more again. I'm so confused on why anybody would want to be a home body. I had a really good horoscope the other day. In a nutshell, it pretty much said that never showing weakness in itself is a weakness. Other people need to know that thier needed. insightful... -
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So I'm on my last 3 days of working at this shit whole (again). Shanna said something interesting the other day. She said that I work so hard to try and avoid dealing with something else in my life. What could that something else be? Maybe it's the fact that I still havn't done anything really worthwhile. Nah! I think i'm just a workaholic ( Read more... ) -
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I can't believe i'm actually posting after almost a year. I think I kind of missed writing in this. It's my only form of journal that I have ever written in ( Read more... )