An eruption of seasonal villainy
She wakes up before 6am, most days, and reads. Sometimes it's a detective story or a spy mystery, other times it's a literary classic like Anne of Green Gables. Once the hour ticks over she's into the lounge room, quick as a flash, to soak up Disney programming while filling out her Monster High diary. After breakfast it's time to play "beauty salon" with stareyednight, using the make-up kit she received for Christmas. Suitably primped and pampered, she pulls me into her room for either an epic game or a massive Lego-building session. Over lunch she watches the Avengers cartoon, out shopping she buys dresses, sparkly shoes and fairy books, and she finishes her afternoon by writing important dates on her Captain America calendar.
I adore my kid so freaking much. She is such an amazing, captivating (and often tiring) mix of little girl, consummate geek and considerate, wise thinker. I'm ridiculously blessed.
Now, to the latest epic games! The first quickly became a personal favourite of mine. Though the stakes weren't as Earth-shattering as some of our adventures, there was nonetheless a very classic, timeless feel which made for great fun. It's a tale of cops and robbers, heroes and reporters, husbands and wives and partnerships that can withstand anything. It's the story of...
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LJ presents:
THE RESCUE OF ROBIN
Written and directed by LJ
Novelisation by SF
The Super Hero City train station was filled with anxious faces. Carmine Fanzone, captain of the police department, was especially nervous. His new commanding officer would be on the train, and he wanted to make a fantastic first impression. As a result, the entire department - every man, vehicle and horse - had been lined up, parade ground style, next to the station. Fanzone wanted to give his boss a welcome he’d never forget.
To one side of the fidgeting police officers stood a most unlikely pair. Few would expect billionaire philanthropist Bruce Wayne to keep company with hard-bitten investigative reporter Clark Kent… but then, few knew the secrets those men shared. In their alternate guises as Batman and Superman, they were the World’s Finest heroes and charter members of the Justice League. One of them was also a happy, excited husband.
“I can see her,” Clark said as he peered over the top of his glasses.
“Of course you can,” Bruce sighed. “X-ray vision.”
The train pulled into the station and, at Fanzone’s command, the assembled police snapped to attention. As the steam of the locomotive evaporated, a figure stepped down from the train… and smirked.
“You call this a welcome, Smallville?” award-winning journalist Lois Lane winked at her husband. “Come over here and give your lady a hug already.”
Clark willingly obliged and, as they moved out of the way, a second person exited the train. Again, the police officers threw up a salute, one that was gratefully - if wearily - acknowledged by Commissioner James Gordon.
“At ease, men, at ease,” he said, not unkindly. “This isn’t a military operation, you know.”
Fanzone rushed forward to shake his hand. “Sir, I can’t tell you what a pleasure it will be to serve under a cop of your stature,” he gushed, enthusiastically pumping Gordon’s hand. “The experience you bring with you from Gotham is beyond useful, given all the craziness we deal with here on a daily basis.”
Gordon, more used to laconic cops like Harvey Bullock, was taken somewhat aback. He glanced around, as if looking for rescue, then smiled as Bruce strolled into view. “Wayne,” he said, gently pulling his hand from Fanzone’s grip. “When you called and asked me to take this job, you never said how… friendly… the locals were.”
As husbands, wives, old friends and new workmates got better acquainted, a third person slipped furtively off the train. Dressed in a watchman’s cap and filthy clothes, a few days’ growth on his dirty chin, the unsavoury-looking character did his best to avoid notice. Bruce glimpsed him, just for a moment, out the corner of his eye and made a mental note to check on him later.
Clark, meanwhile, took the opportunity to walk Lois through her new town. The rebuilding efforts continued, but there was actual progress to show off. “That’s the new bank,” he said, pointing to a nearby two-storey building. “It’s just been finished, and today’s the big day.”
“For what?” Lois asked.
“Watch,” Clark said. Lois turned to see a heavily-armoured van pull up alongside the bank. A woman emerged from behind the building’s reinforced glass doors to meet with the van’s driver. Together, they began ferrying large green suitcases inside. “That’s the first shipment of money into the city since Unicron,” Clark continued. “A lot of people will be happy to get their pay checks today.”
Lois’ phone trilled. She picked it up but, before she could answer it, a ear-splitting voice boomed through the speaker. “LANE! You’ve been off that train for precisely eight-point-one minutes! I don’t pay you to stroll around town with your husband, I pay you for STORIES! You have three-point-seven hours to file a front page story for tomorrow’s Bugle, or there’ll be TROUBLE!” The ever-melodious J Jonah Jameson hung up before she could reply.
“Her master’s voice,” Lois sighed. “I think I might go over and interview the bank workers about the shipment. That should make good copy.” She raised up on her tip-toes and kissed Clark on the cheek. “See you later, Smallville.”
As Lois began her interview, the dirty guy from the train station crept up to the side of the bank. Once he was sure no-one was looking, he raised one foot and pressed it against the wall… then, incredibly, began walking up the side of the bank! He climbed over the edge of the room with a sucking, slurping noise and made his way over to the skylight. Biding his time, he watched the van driver finish the delivery before he made his move.
The man pointed one hand toward the skylight, and it re-shaped into a long crowbar. He used the tool to break the lock, then jumped down inside with a thud. Impossibly, the crowbar also broke through the bank vault’s hi-tech time-release lock, leaving the robber alone with all the money and gold bars in Super Hero City. “Mmm,” he said, licking his lips. “Looks tasty.”
A few minutes later, Lois left the bank. She was thumbing through her notebook, her mind already lost in the story she’d soon write, when she bumped into the robber! The dirty man grabbed the reporter before she could scream and started running, carrying her effortlessly. Lois watched, wide-eyed, as the man’s legs blurred and formed the shape of a red dirt-cross bike! They took off, almost running down several pedestrians, in the direction of the train station.
It didn’t take long for Commissioner Gordon detect the speeding miscreant. “And it didn’t take long for Miss Lane to find herself in trouble,” Gordon sighed. He followed in his brand-new, custom WayneTech police command cruiser, signalling for Fanzone and the others to intercept. The robber didn’t know the city as well as its police force and, within minutes, he was surrounded. Gordon stepped out of his car and ordered the stranger to surrender.
Disturbingly, the robber just laughed. His mouth stretched wider and wider until it looked as if the top of his head might fall off. Suddenly he shoved both the bag of money on his back and Lois into his gaping maw, swallowing them whole! His body thickened, then elongated, growing and spreading until his true nature was revealed. The shape-shifting criminal and master impersonator, Clayface, had come to Super Hero City!
Clark Kent was looking for a story of his own when he saw it - the world-famous Bat Signal, shining brightly in the clear, daylight sky. He immediately ducked into the nearest phone booth for a ultra-fast costume change, then shot into the air as Superman! Using his super-senses, the Man of Steel quickly located Bruce Wayne - who was in the midst of donning his Batman costume - and flew to meet him.
“There’s something you don’t usually see during the day,” Superman said.
“A special addition to Jim’s cruiser,” Batman rasped as he pulled his cowl into place. “Shines brightly whether it’s day or night. Figured it’d come in handy.”
Superman tucked his friend under his arm (“You know how much I hate this, Kent”) and took off once again, this time in the direction of the Bat Signal. He gasped as his telescopic vision revealed the extent of the police’s plight. Accelerating, Superman dropped Batman at the last possible second and slammed, as hard as he could, into Clayface. The villain exploded but immediately flowed back into shape, still grinning horribly.
“I thought I’d seen the last of you losers back in Gotham,” Clayface sneered. “Ah well, no big problem. I’ll just kill you here instead!”
Batman landed near the monster’s right foot and lashed out with an electrified batarang. He embedded the device into Clayface, triggering a static charge that disrupted the villain’s consistency. The Dark Knight rolled out of the way as Clayface turned into a mudslide, disgorging Lois, the stolen cash and gold bars… and an unexpected hostage!
“Robin?” Batman exclaimed.
“Hey boss,” the Boy Wonder grinned, wiping dirt and soot from his face. “Sorry to get thrown up unannounced. I saw this guy trying to sneak onto the train back in Gotham and thought I’d take him out… guess he got the drop on me.”
Batman couldn’t help but smile. “Don’t worry about it, kid,” he said. “All Clayface has done is ensure he gets a double helping of Hammers of Justice!”
Lois blinked mud from her eyes. “Is Batman actually smiling?” she asked.
“Oh yeah,” Superman grinned, “which means Clayface is doing down.”
As Clayface gobbled up the stolen funds once more, the heroes went on the attack. Between Superman’s high-speed heat-vision barrages and Batman’s electrified weaponry, the villain had no chance of escape. But it was Robin who hit upon the perfect plan to save the day. With a haunting laugh, he pulled electro-shock gauntlets over his hands and leaped fearlessly into Clayface’s mouth once more. His target was not the villain, however, but the gold bars in his gullet!
Robin knew the precious metal was a fantastic conductor of electricity, and his plan wreaked absolute havoc upon Clayface. The monster sloughed off into quivering, blobby clumps of sentient mud that Superman blew into a pile with his super-breath. Robin fumbled in his utility belt for a moment, looking for something. “Third pouch from the left,” Batman said, and Robin grinned. He pulled out an electrified net and used it to tie Clayface down.
“Fantastic,” Lois breathed, scribbling down notes.
“Wonderful,” Commissioner Gordon enthused.
“Dynamic,” Superman said, throwing an arm around each of his friends. “The Dynamic Duo, back together at last.” He nudged Batman slightly.
“Uh, yeah,” Batman said, caught off-guard. “Robin, would you be interested in staying in Super Hero City? I could always use another partner.”
Robin beamed. “I thought you’d never ask,” he said, shaking Batman’s hand.
The Dark Knight’s nose wrinkled. “But first, you need a shower. Badly.”
Robin sniffed. “Eww, Clayface guts!” he winced.
-----THE END-----
You'll no doubt remember that last Christmas saw a veritable villain invasion descend upon Super Hero City. LJ had similar planned for this year, until bc_scrubs made another request. It seems many of the chibis she received number among his favourite characters, and he hoped to see solo villain stories for each of them. "Especially Ultron," he enthused. "He's such an awesome bad guy."
His request, t'would seem, is the game-girl's command. What was to be an en masse attack upon the good citizens of LJ's imaginary land has instead become a series of terrifying, life-threatening battles! But fear not - as new villains make their presence felt, so too do new heroes rise to the challenge. And so we invite you all to...
----------
LJ presents:
FOLLOW... THE LEADER!
Written and directed by LJ
Novelisation by SF
Bellowing with rage, the incredible Hulk smashed his way through the brightly-lit, antiseptic-smelling laboratory. The monster did not get far before it was confronted by another of its kind - the cruel, sadistic brute known as Abomination. The beasts clashed until Abomination gained the upper hand, lifting Hulk high above his head and slamming him through a rack of heavy equipment. The jade giant had been felled, and Abomination roared.
“Excellent,” noted a dry voice, accompanied by polite applause. “I see you’ve mastered my remote-control robot Hulk at long last. Perhaps the time has finally come to pit you against the real thing.”
The being that spoke had once been known as Samuel Sterns. An encounter with the Hulk - more particularly, the creature’s gamma-irradiated blood - had altered Sterns, increasing his intelligence exponentially. He now preferred to be called a name that better fit his stature. One day, he vowed, the entire world would call him Leader.
“Oh, I’m ready,” Abomination said, toying with the robot Hulk’s head. “I’ve been waiting for this chance for so long.”
“You didn’t tell Doom where you were going?” Leader asked. “Nor MODOK?”
Abomination shook his head. “I told ‘em I was going to Wiggly Worms. They believed me ‘cause they know I like playgrounds.” He smiled dopily.
Leader sighed wearily. “Thankfully, your usefulness is almost at an end,” he muttered under his breath. “The time has come to act,” he continued, his voice returning to full volume.
The monster stomped over to join his master. “And how do I fit into it?”
Leader smiled nastily. “All you need do, dear boy, is make an entrance.”
Across town, a very satisfied Tony Stark threw his arms out wide and asked: “Well, what do you think?”
Bruce Banner looked up… and up, and up… and let out a low, appreciative whistle. “I have to hand it to you, Tony,” he said, “you never do anything by halves.”
Not content with having built an Arc Reactor in the centre of Super Hero City, Tony - aka the invincible Iron Man - had gone one better. He’d also replaced his base of operations with a state-of-the-art rocket-launching platform. The towering structure housed a reusable two-stage rocket capable of carrying either a satellite or an astronaut into orbit. It also boasted a three-story tower, control bunker, cargo vehicle and support staff.
“Happy Hogan used to be my driver,” Tony said, slapping his old friend on the back. “Now he helps run things here. There’s a couple of scientists coming across in the next few days and…” He looked over Banner’s shoulder and grinned. “And here comes the lady of the hour right now.”
Banner turned to see a tall, strikingly beautiful woman clad in a gold-and-white astronaut’s uniform. Her long blonde hair was a near match for the trim of her bulky spacesuit, which no doubt obscured an athletic figure. “Bruce, this is Major Carol Danvers. Formerly US Air Force, formerly NASA, now the shining light of Stark Space Exploration Incorporated.” Danvers saluted them both. “She’s going up first,” Tony explained, “then the satellite.”
“Has he explained to you this could be dangerous?” Banner asked Danvers.
Tony feigned insult, but Danvers answered snappily. “Danger’s part of the job, Dr Banner. I knew what I signed on for… I even know about your ‘anger management issues’.” To Banner’s surprise, she actually winked. “The only thing I don’t understand is Mr Hogan. I hear he used to be Mr Stark’s bodyguard. Why would Iron Man need a bodyguard?”
Banner glanced at the suitcase Happy carried everywhere - the one that unfolded into the Iron Man armour - and started to answer. Tony silenced him with a harsh glare that screamed “secretsecretsecretsecret!”, then ushered Danvers away to prepare for the launch.
To Banner’s relief, the rocket fired, left the platform and achieved orbit without incident. Danvers roamed the atmosphere in her mini-skiff, clearing away space junk and debris with her twin laser blasters. The first-stage rocket returned to the platform to be reloaded. He, Tony and Happy muscled the Arc Satellite into the cargo bay. “This’ll provide free energy not just to the city, but the entire country,” Tony beamed. “A late Christmas present, but a great one nonetheless!”
As soon as the payload had been secured, the trio retreated to the bunker to trigger the launch. As before, the rocket lifted off perfectly… but, as the engines cleared the tower, a dark figure leapt to the very top story and swiped the vehicle with a massive, powerful hand! The rocket went off-course, sending the second-stage component totally on the wrong trajectory. Tony screamed into the radio at Danvers but it was too late - the second stage and skiff collided, then exploded.
“No,” Banner groaned as Tony slammed his fists on the control panel. “How?”
“I’m damn well going to find out,” Tony fumed. He stormed up the stairs and out of the bunker… then screeched to a halt as Abomination landed in front of him. Banner pushed past, his pupils already dilating and turning green, but he too froze when Leader stepped out from behind his gargantuan lackey.
“Stay calm, Banner,” the big-brained villain warned. In one hand he held a shiny black remote control. “Should you lose your temper, I won’t be responsible for what happens next…”
The threat served only to further infuriate the mild-mannered scientist. Banner surrendered to the change and, seconds later, the Hulk roared to life. Taking advantage of the distraction, Happy kicked the briefcase to Tony. The billionaire stepped on the centre panel and grabbed the hidden hand-controls, triggering the luggage’s transformation. Metal panels flowed and clasped around the genius inventor until Iron Man stood tall once more.
Hulk had already crash-tackled Leader, but the results weren’t what he’d expected. Though he pummelled his old foe with earth-shattering punches, the villain just kept smiling. His body warped, twisted and pulped like silly putty or a stress ball, absorbing every blow with no damage.
“Arrgh,” Hulk raged. “Why big-head smartie-pants no get smashed?”
“A secondary side-effect of my gamma irradiation,” Leader said primly. “My body is now extremely malleable and quite impervious to brutish attacks such as yours. Now, as I was saying: desist immediately, both of you, or I shall detonate the bombs I’ve already placed around this entire facility.”
Iron Man, who’d been drawing bead on Abomination, powered down his repulsors. “Do what he says, Hulk,” he ordered. “If this place goes up, the combination of rocket fuel and Arc reactor energy will kill everyone in a 20-mile radius! We can’t take that chance.”
“Of course you can’t,” Leader said, as if it had always been a foregone conclusion. He watched silently as the undamaged first stage of the rocket returned to the platform, just as it had been programmed to do. Without a word, he gestured to Abomination. The beast pulled a large, green device out from under a tarpaulin and jumped atop the tower again, loading it onto the rocket.
“Let me guess,” Iron Man said. “A gamma bomb. You’re going to detonate it in the atmosphere and turn everyone on Earth into a Hulk. Not the most original plan, is it?”
Leader’s expression didn’t change. “It is not a requirement of genius to innovate at every turn,” he said. “Those who believe it should be are delusional, self-important fools seeking to prove themselves to others. My plan can only be improved upon, not bettered. This time I shall succeed and, with a planet of Hulks at my command, I will conquer Asgard, Cybertron, Oa and every realm within my reach.” He breathed out. “I will lead the universe.”
Fearful of an explosion, Iron Man and Hulk could only watch as Leader triggered the day’s third countdown. As before, the rocket’s engines fired… the vehicle lifted off the platform… it began to clear the tower… and then a blinding, sizzling bolt of energy plummeted from the heavens and stopped it in its tracks!
The light coalesced into a beautiful figure who hung in the air above them. The woman was clad in a black bodysuit, tied with a red sash and embroidered with a stylised lightning bolt. Thigh-high boots covered her legs, elbow-length gloves protected her hands and a black mask obscured her face. Even so, the part of Hulk that was Bruce Banner immediately recognised the long, blonde hair that flowed around the newcomer’s beautiful face.
“Danvers,” Hulk grunted. “She no die!”
“Just the opposite, Hulk buddy,” Danvers said. “I’ve never felt better!”
Beams of light shot from each of her fingertips. Each unerringly targeted one of Leader’s bombs, as if it could follow their energy signatures. Unbound, Iron Man and Hulk took the fight to their enemies. Abomination was easily outclassed by Iron Man’s repulsors and Danver’s energy blasts, while Hulk found a novel way of disabling Leader. “Big-head smartie-pants not so smart when Hulk grab you by head and squeeze,” the giant boomed happily.
The villains defeated and the day saved, Tony, Happy and Banner forced Danvers to undergo a battery of tests. “Incredible,” Tony said for the 19th time. “It’s like your entire body is composed of energy… but still solid matter, all at the same time! You don’t just pump out power, you can absorb and redirect it as well. You’re kind of like Superman in some ways, but like Silver Surfer in others. Basically, Carol… you’re a marvel.”
Carol grinned. “That’s Ms Marvel to you, boss,” she said.
-----THE END-----
Still to come: magic, mystery and mutants, sorcery and time-travel, spies, crushing defeats and last-minute victories! What more could you want from a gaggle of Christmas presents?
Greet the Fire as Your Friend,
SF
I adore my kid so freaking much. She is such an amazing, captivating (and often tiring) mix of little girl, consummate geek and considerate, wise thinker. I'm ridiculously blessed.
Now, to the latest epic games! The first quickly became a personal favourite of mine. Though the stakes weren't as Earth-shattering as some of our adventures, there was nonetheless a very classic, timeless feel which made for great fun. It's a tale of cops and robbers, heroes and reporters, husbands and wives and partnerships that can withstand anything. It's the story of...
----------
LJ presents:
THE RESCUE OF ROBIN
Written and directed by LJ
Novelisation by SF
The Super Hero City train station was filled with anxious faces. Carmine Fanzone, captain of the police department, was especially nervous. His new commanding officer would be on the train, and he wanted to make a fantastic first impression. As a result, the entire department - every man, vehicle and horse - had been lined up, parade ground style, next to the station. Fanzone wanted to give his boss a welcome he’d never forget.
To one side of the fidgeting police officers stood a most unlikely pair. Few would expect billionaire philanthropist Bruce Wayne to keep company with hard-bitten investigative reporter Clark Kent… but then, few knew the secrets those men shared. In their alternate guises as Batman and Superman, they were the World’s Finest heroes and charter members of the Justice League. One of them was also a happy, excited husband.
“I can see her,” Clark said as he peered over the top of his glasses.
“Of course you can,” Bruce sighed. “X-ray vision.”
The train pulled into the station and, at Fanzone’s command, the assembled police snapped to attention. As the steam of the locomotive evaporated, a figure stepped down from the train… and smirked.
“You call this a welcome, Smallville?” award-winning journalist Lois Lane winked at her husband. “Come over here and give your lady a hug already.”
Clark willingly obliged and, as they moved out of the way, a second person exited the train. Again, the police officers threw up a salute, one that was gratefully - if wearily - acknowledged by Commissioner James Gordon.
“At ease, men, at ease,” he said, not unkindly. “This isn’t a military operation, you know.”
Fanzone rushed forward to shake his hand. “Sir, I can’t tell you what a pleasure it will be to serve under a cop of your stature,” he gushed, enthusiastically pumping Gordon’s hand. “The experience you bring with you from Gotham is beyond useful, given all the craziness we deal with here on a daily basis.”
Gordon, more used to laconic cops like Harvey Bullock, was taken somewhat aback. He glanced around, as if looking for rescue, then smiled as Bruce strolled into view. “Wayne,” he said, gently pulling his hand from Fanzone’s grip. “When you called and asked me to take this job, you never said how… friendly… the locals were.”
As husbands, wives, old friends and new workmates got better acquainted, a third person slipped furtively off the train. Dressed in a watchman’s cap and filthy clothes, a few days’ growth on his dirty chin, the unsavoury-looking character did his best to avoid notice. Bruce glimpsed him, just for a moment, out the corner of his eye and made a mental note to check on him later.
Clark, meanwhile, took the opportunity to walk Lois through her new town. The rebuilding efforts continued, but there was actual progress to show off. “That’s the new bank,” he said, pointing to a nearby two-storey building. “It’s just been finished, and today’s the big day.”
“For what?” Lois asked.
“Watch,” Clark said. Lois turned to see a heavily-armoured van pull up alongside the bank. A woman emerged from behind the building’s reinforced glass doors to meet with the van’s driver. Together, they began ferrying large green suitcases inside. “That’s the first shipment of money into the city since Unicron,” Clark continued. “A lot of people will be happy to get their pay checks today.”
Lois’ phone trilled. She picked it up but, before she could answer it, a ear-splitting voice boomed through the speaker. “LANE! You’ve been off that train for precisely eight-point-one minutes! I don’t pay you to stroll around town with your husband, I pay you for STORIES! You have three-point-seven hours to file a front page story for tomorrow’s Bugle, or there’ll be TROUBLE!” The ever-melodious J Jonah Jameson hung up before she could reply.
“Her master’s voice,” Lois sighed. “I think I might go over and interview the bank workers about the shipment. That should make good copy.” She raised up on her tip-toes and kissed Clark on the cheek. “See you later, Smallville.”
As Lois began her interview, the dirty guy from the train station crept up to the side of the bank. Once he was sure no-one was looking, he raised one foot and pressed it against the wall… then, incredibly, began walking up the side of the bank! He climbed over the edge of the room with a sucking, slurping noise and made his way over to the skylight. Biding his time, he watched the van driver finish the delivery before he made his move.
The man pointed one hand toward the skylight, and it re-shaped into a long crowbar. He used the tool to break the lock, then jumped down inside with a thud. Impossibly, the crowbar also broke through the bank vault’s hi-tech time-release lock, leaving the robber alone with all the money and gold bars in Super Hero City. “Mmm,” he said, licking his lips. “Looks tasty.”
A few minutes later, Lois left the bank. She was thumbing through her notebook, her mind already lost in the story she’d soon write, when she bumped into the robber! The dirty man grabbed the reporter before she could scream and started running, carrying her effortlessly. Lois watched, wide-eyed, as the man’s legs blurred and formed the shape of a red dirt-cross bike! They took off, almost running down several pedestrians, in the direction of the train station.
It didn’t take long for Commissioner Gordon detect the speeding miscreant. “And it didn’t take long for Miss Lane to find herself in trouble,” Gordon sighed. He followed in his brand-new, custom WayneTech police command cruiser, signalling for Fanzone and the others to intercept. The robber didn’t know the city as well as its police force and, within minutes, he was surrounded. Gordon stepped out of his car and ordered the stranger to surrender.
Disturbingly, the robber just laughed. His mouth stretched wider and wider until it looked as if the top of his head might fall off. Suddenly he shoved both the bag of money on his back and Lois into his gaping maw, swallowing them whole! His body thickened, then elongated, growing and spreading until his true nature was revealed. The shape-shifting criminal and master impersonator, Clayface, had come to Super Hero City!
Clark Kent was looking for a story of his own when he saw it - the world-famous Bat Signal, shining brightly in the clear, daylight sky. He immediately ducked into the nearest phone booth for a ultra-fast costume change, then shot into the air as Superman! Using his super-senses, the Man of Steel quickly located Bruce Wayne - who was in the midst of donning his Batman costume - and flew to meet him.
“There’s something you don’t usually see during the day,” Superman said.
“A special addition to Jim’s cruiser,” Batman rasped as he pulled his cowl into place. “Shines brightly whether it’s day or night. Figured it’d come in handy.”
Superman tucked his friend under his arm (“You know how much I hate this, Kent”) and took off once again, this time in the direction of the Bat Signal. He gasped as his telescopic vision revealed the extent of the police’s plight. Accelerating, Superman dropped Batman at the last possible second and slammed, as hard as he could, into Clayface. The villain exploded but immediately flowed back into shape, still grinning horribly.
“I thought I’d seen the last of you losers back in Gotham,” Clayface sneered. “Ah well, no big problem. I’ll just kill you here instead!”
Batman landed near the monster’s right foot and lashed out with an electrified batarang. He embedded the device into Clayface, triggering a static charge that disrupted the villain’s consistency. The Dark Knight rolled out of the way as Clayface turned into a mudslide, disgorging Lois, the stolen cash and gold bars… and an unexpected hostage!
“Robin?” Batman exclaimed.
“Hey boss,” the Boy Wonder grinned, wiping dirt and soot from his face. “Sorry to get thrown up unannounced. I saw this guy trying to sneak onto the train back in Gotham and thought I’d take him out… guess he got the drop on me.”
Batman couldn’t help but smile. “Don’t worry about it, kid,” he said. “All Clayface has done is ensure he gets a double helping of Hammers of Justice!”
Lois blinked mud from her eyes. “Is Batman actually smiling?” she asked.
“Oh yeah,” Superman grinned, “which means Clayface is doing down.”
As Clayface gobbled up the stolen funds once more, the heroes went on the attack. Between Superman’s high-speed heat-vision barrages and Batman’s electrified weaponry, the villain had no chance of escape. But it was Robin who hit upon the perfect plan to save the day. With a haunting laugh, he pulled electro-shock gauntlets over his hands and leaped fearlessly into Clayface’s mouth once more. His target was not the villain, however, but the gold bars in his gullet!
Robin knew the precious metal was a fantastic conductor of electricity, and his plan wreaked absolute havoc upon Clayface. The monster sloughed off into quivering, blobby clumps of sentient mud that Superman blew into a pile with his super-breath. Robin fumbled in his utility belt for a moment, looking for something. “Third pouch from the left,” Batman said, and Robin grinned. He pulled out an electrified net and used it to tie Clayface down.
“Fantastic,” Lois breathed, scribbling down notes.
“Wonderful,” Commissioner Gordon enthused.
“Dynamic,” Superman said, throwing an arm around each of his friends. “The Dynamic Duo, back together at last.” He nudged Batman slightly.
“Uh, yeah,” Batman said, caught off-guard. “Robin, would you be interested in staying in Super Hero City? I could always use another partner.”
Robin beamed. “I thought you’d never ask,” he said, shaking Batman’s hand.
The Dark Knight’s nose wrinkled. “But first, you need a shower. Badly.”
Robin sniffed. “Eww, Clayface guts!” he winced.
-----THE END-----
You'll no doubt remember that last Christmas saw a veritable villain invasion descend upon Super Hero City. LJ had similar planned for this year, until bc_scrubs made another request. It seems many of the chibis she received number among his favourite characters, and he hoped to see solo villain stories for each of them. "Especially Ultron," he enthused. "He's such an awesome bad guy."
His request, t'would seem, is the game-girl's command. What was to be an en masse attack upon the good citizens of LJ's imaginary land has instead become a series of terrifying, life-threatening battles! But fear not - as new villains make their presence felt, so too do new heroes rise to the challenge. And so we invite you all to...
----------
LJ presents:
FOLLOW... THE LEADER!
Written and directed by LJ
Novelisation by SF
Bellowing with rage, the incredible Hulk smashed his way through the brightly-lit, antiseptic-smelling laboratory. The monster did not get far before it was confronted by another of its kind - the cruel, sadistic brute known as Abomination. The beasts clashed until Abomination gained the upper hand, lifting Hulk high above his head and slamming him through a rack of heavy equipment. The jade giant had been felled, and Abomination roared.
“Excellent,” noted a dry voice, accompanied by polite applause. “I see you’ve mastered my remote-control robot Hulk at long last. Perhaps the time has finally come to pit you against the real thing.”
The being that spoke had once been known as Samuel Sterns. An encounter with the Hulk - more particularly, the creature’s gamma-irradiated blood - had altered Sterns, increasing his intelligence exponentially. He now preferred to be called a name that better fit his stature. One day, he vowed, the entire world would call him Leader.
“Oh, I’m ready,” Abomination said, toying with the robot Hulk’s head. “I’ve been waiting for this chance for so long.”
“You didn’t tell Doom where you were going?” Leader asked. “Nor MODOK?”
Abomination shook his head. “I told ‘em I was going to Wiggly Worms. They believed me ‘cause they know I like playgrounds.” He smiled dopily.
Leader sighed wearily. “Thankfully, your usefulness is almost at an end,” he muttered under his breath. “The time has come to act,” he continued, his voice returning to full volume.
The monster stomped over to join his master. “And how do I fit into it?”
Leader smiled nastily. “All you need do, dear boy, is make an entrance.”
Across town, a very satisfied Tony Stark threw his arms out wide and asked: “Well, what do you think?”
Bruce Banner looked up… and up, and up… and let out a low, appreciative whistle. “I have to hand it to you, Tony,” he said, “you never do anything by halves.”
Not content with having built an Arc Reactor in the centre of Super Hero City, Tony - aka the invincible Iron Man - had gone one better. He’d also replaced his base of operations with a state-of-the-art rocket-launching platform. The towering structure housed a reusable two-stage rocket capable of carrying either a satellite or an astronaut into orbit. It also boasted a three-story tower, control bunker, cargo vehicle and support staff.
“Happy Hogan used to be my driver,” Tony said, slapping his old friend on the back. “Now he helps run things here. There’s a couple of scientists coming across in the next few days and…” He looked over Banner’s shoulder and grinned. “And here comes the lady of the hour right now.”
Banner turned to see a tall, strikingly beautiful woman clad in a gold-and-white astronaut’s uniform. Her long blonde hair was a near match for the trim of her bulky spacesuit, which no doubt obscured an athletic figure. “Bruce, this is Major Carol Danvers. Formerly US Air Force, formerly NASA, now the shining light of Stark Space Exploration Incorporated.” Danvers saluted them both. “She’s going up first,” Tony explained, “then the satellite.”
“Has he explained to you this could be dangerous?” Banner asked Danvers.
Tony feigned insult, but Danvers answered snappily. “Danger’s part of the job, Dr Banner. I knew what I signed on for… I even know about your ‘anger management issues’.” To Banner’s surprise, she actually winked. “The only thing I don’t understand is Mr Hogan. I hear he used to be Mr Stark’s bodyguard. Why would Iron Man need a bodyguard?”
Banner glanced at the suitcase Happy carried everywhere - the one that unfolded into the Iron Man armour - and started to answer. Tony silenced him with a harsh glare that screamed “secretsecretsecretsecret!”, then ushered Danvers away to prepare for the launch.
To Banner’s relief, the rocket fired, left the platform and achieved orbit without incident. Danvers roamed the atmosphere in her mini-skiff, clearing away space junk and debris with her twin laser blasters. The first-stage rocket returned to the platform to be reloaded. He, Tony and Happy muscled the Arc Satellite into the cargo bay. “This’ll provide free energy not just to the city, but the entire country,” Tony beamed. “A late Christmas present, but a great one nonetheless!”
As soon as the payload had been secured, the trio retreated to the bunker to trigger the launch. As before, the rocket lifted off perfectly… but, as the engines cleared the tower, a dark figure leapt to the very top story and swiped the vehicle with a massive, powerful hand! The rocket went off-course, sending the second-stage component totally on the wrong trajectory. Tony screamed into the radio at Danvers but it was too late - the second stage and skiff collided, then exploded.
“No,” Banner groaned as Tony slammed his fists on the control panel. “How?”
“I’m damn well going to find out,” Tony fumed. He stormed up the stairs and out of the bunker… then screeched to a halt as Abomination landed in front of him. Banner pushed past, his pupils already dilating and turning green, but he too froze when Leader stepped out from behind his gargantuan lackey.
“Stay calm, Banner,” the big-brained villain warned. In one hand he held a shiny black remote control. “Should you lose your temper, I won’t be responsible for what happens next…”
The threat served only to further infuriate the mild-mannered scientist. Banner surrendered to the change and, seconds later, the Hulk roared to life. Taking advantage of the distraction, Happy kicked the briefcase to Tony. The billionaire stepped on the centre panel and grabbed the hidden hand-controls, triggering the luggage’s transformation. Metal panels flowed and clasped around the genius inventor until Iron Man stood tall once more.
Hulk had already crash-tackled Leader, but the results weren’t what he’d expected. Though he pummelled his old foe with earth-shattering punches, the villain just kept smiling. His body warped, twisted and pulped like silly putty or a stress ball, absorbing every blow with no damage.
“Arrgh,” Hulk raged. “Why big-head smartie-pants no get smashed?”
“A secondary side-effect of my gamma irradiation,” Leader said primly. “My body is now extremely malleable and quite impervious to brutish attacks such as yours. Now, as I was saying: desist immediately, both of you, or I shall detonate the bombs I’ve already placed around this entire facility.”
Iron Man, who’d been drawing bead on Abomination, powered down his repulsors. “Do what he says, Hulk,” he ordered. “If this place goes up, the combination of rocket fuel and Arc reactor energy will kill everyone in a 20-mile radius! We can’t take that chance.”
“Of course you can’t,” Leader said, as if it had always been a foregone conclusion. He watched silently as the undamaged first stage of the rocket returned to the platform, just as it had been programmed to do. Without a word, he gestured to Abomination. The beast pulled a large, green device out from under a tarpaulin and jumped atop the tower again, loading it onto the rocket.
“Let me guess,” Iron Man said. “A gamma bomb. You’re going to detonate it in the atmosphere and turn everyone on Earth into a Hulk. Not the most original plan, is it?”
Leader’s expression didn’t change. “It is not a requirement of genius to innovate at every turn,” he said. “Those who believe it should be are delusional, self-important fools seeking to prove themselves to others. My plan can only be improved upon, not bettered. This time I shall succeed and, with a planet of Hulks at my command, I will conquer Asgard, Cybertron, Oa and every realm within my reach.” He breathed out. “I will lead the universe.”
Fearful of an explosion, Iron Man and Hulk could only watch as Leader triggered the day’s third countdown. As before, the rocket’s engines fired… the vehicle lifted off the platform… it began to clear the tower… and then a blinding, sizzling bolt of energy plummeted from the heavens and stopped it in its tracks!
The light coalesced into a beautiful figure who hung in the air above them. The woman was clad in a black bodysuit, tied with a red sash and embroidered with a stylised lightning bolt. Thigh-high boots covered her legs, elbow-length gloves protected her hands and a black mask obscured her face. Even so, the part of Hulk that was Bruce Banner immediately recognised the long, blonde hair that flowed around the newcomer’s beautiful face.
“Danvers,” Hulk grunted. “She no die!”
“Just the opposite, Hulk buddy,” Danvers said. “I’ve never felt better!”
Beams of light shot from each of her fingertips. Each unerringly targeted one of Leader’s bombs, as if it could follow their energy signatures. Unbound, Iron Man and Hulk took the fight to their enemies. Abomination was easily outclassed by Iron Man’s repulsors and Danver’s energy blasts, while Hulk found a novel way of disabling Leader. “Big-head smartie-pants not so smart when Hulk grab you by head and squeeze,” the giant boomed happily.
The villains defeated and the day saved, Tony, Happy and Banner forced Danvers to undergo a battery of tests. “Incredible,” Tony said for the 19th time. “It’s like your entire body is composed of energy… but still solid matter, all at the same time! You don’t just pump out power, you can absorb and redirect it as well. You’re kind of like Superman in some ways, but like Silver Surfer in others. Basically, Carol… you’re a marvel.”
Carol grinned. “That’s Ms Marvel to you, boss,” she said.
-----THE END-----
Still to come: magic, mystery and mutants, sorcery and time-travel, spies, crushing defeats and last-minute victories! What more could you want from a gaggle of Christmas presents?
Greet the Fire as Your Friend,
SF