Soooo... I expect I'm going to be using this a lot.

I think it helps to let it out. Then it builds up again, and I wallow in it, and stew on it, and then have to let it out again. At least here I feel like I can be myself, and not have someone's judgement or have any expectations.

It just helps.

And piece by piece, the story will come tumbling out.
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is watching me.

No one is coming to save me.

No one cares about me, really.

Cares about what I think or feel.

Just for the record.

From the beginning of this year til about end of April.

Had purpose and motivation.

Yeah that shit was cool.

Then it all ended again, and we go to this place, again.

Okay, bye.

I mean, I'd had infatuations which I THOUGHT were in love.

But not real true in love like this.

Man, I got completely tossed.

I'm going to try to write again in this "secret" space, I've had this livejournal now for about 20 years! Many years have been skipped.

But I am thinking it might be helpful for me - especially if I have less attention on ( Read more... )

I have nothing to say. Not much to be thankful for. Except my kids I guess.

Just watching a movie with my kids on a Saturday night. Nothing too exciting.

Not much to make me laugh or smile much anymore.

I watched the rest of His Dark Materials with London. We both liked it a lot. I watched the ending by myself first, I cried a lot, because I could ( Read more... )

Also there was this weird guy at the grocery store last night who tried to give my kids some flowers he bought for his "fiance" but didn't need them anymore then took a photo of my kids. We threw them out.

I’m going to try to practice writing in here again. And do it as much as possible every day. I know I always say that I am going to do that and never do but really gonna try this time.

Yesterday Nadia was sick so we stayed home from school. I worked, and we went out later in the afternoon and took a drive by the beach and went to the lookout at ( Read more... )

I figured I should write about this somewhere, somewhere semi private. No one on here knows who I am, or even checks this, or cares for that matter. And that’s ok.

I constantly run into this sadness. But I am suppposed to be happy in order to be successful. But I can’t seem to ever be happy, and it does not seem like I will be again.

My happiness ( Read more... )