Some shit happened. and then some more shit happened.

people reading this be like wtf.

everything is fine. we are all fine. just fine!

I said I was going to try to write in this every day.

There, I tried.

Several times I've been close to giving up, thinking what's the point.

My kids either hate/dislike me.

I have no savings. I have debts. I have no leeway in my income to even save for retirement. Creating a big surplus for this and other things seems like a gargantuan task I need seem to be able to accomplish. Every time I start to get inspired ( Read more... )

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I tried to run this morning. Ran/walked.

Feeling pretty bad today.

My self confidence is shot to hell, I have really low self esteem.

Trying to get through some course modules.

I just really can't find that "umph" anymore - why. I don't have a reason anymore. No reward at the end. Nothing exciting to look forward to. Only things to fear if I don't.
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is next Sunday.

i will probably spend it alone, with no gifts, or anything from anyone. it's okay, i should be used to it by now.

i will try not to feel too sorry for myself and drink myself under the table as a result. ill try to just "wake up and go get the world", work on my business, go to the gym, etc., feel calm and peaceful in how invisible ( Read more... )

Well I don't feel like shit today. but im just going to try to record what ive done during the day each day anyway, just journal, and i like livejournal bc I feel like it's a bit more informal.

im not always going to use punctuation marks bc im lazy.

actually i have lots of stuff to download.

today was a bit of a mess with work. we discovered that ( Read more... )

I've been many things to many people. To me, I've always just been myself, at whatever stage of life I'm in.


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Divorce was finalized in October of 2018, although paperwork took a long time to finish, our actual relationship ended in late 2016 and then I announced (for about the 5th and final time) I wanted a divorce for real in April of 2017 ( Read more... )