24.6.2. TEN injuries you have had1. Broken arm, peewee football ( Read more... )

TEN signs you've had good sex
1. Scratch marks
2. Bite marks
3. Carpet burn
4. Obscure bruises
5. Pulled muscles
6. Sore throat
7. Uncomfortable arse
8. Swollen nads
9. Stained sheets
10. No Trojans left

TEN signs you've had bad sex1. Scratch marks ( Read more... )

LINK: Aye.

Five things in your fridge:
Baby bottles
Leftover haggis
Lube (Dinnae ask)
Irn Bru
A note stuck to the milk reminding me to call Mum

Four songs on your iPod:
Money for Nothing - Dire Straights
500 Miles - The Proclaimers
We are the Champions - Queen
Eye of the Tiger - Survivor

Three places you like to visit:Edinburgh, Scotland ( Read more... )

Blow job on a massage chair. Priceless.

LINK: The scars were going to remain forever, but he just had to learn that they were a reminder he was saved, and not one that he was nearly lost.

This: "News"

Three words.

BULL-FECKING-SHIT

Dinnae even get me started.

LINK: It's nay rocket science: you hurt my son, and I'll hurt you.

My son tried to eat a CONDOM. Did you all hear that? CONDOM. Whoever of you all were leaving condoms (thank fuck it was still wrapped) lying around the back room, I'm going to HURT YOU. I've said it before, but I'm going to say it again because clearly you're all deaf...

HURT YOU.

EXTENSIVELY.

WITH SHARP POINTY THINGS.

That is all.

Show us a drawing your muse made as a child

I wasnae ever a particularly deep kid, except when it came to music...


( Read more... )