dread_ex

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dread_ex Oct 26, 2015 21:50

This cold is kicking my a SS
I haven't been able to do much of anything besides feed the cats and change pjs.
I went to the bank and to the grocery store. I had planned to run other errands but I was too tired. My appetite is still there. Throat is sore. Thank God for tea and honey.

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dread_ex Dec 01, 2014 11:35

So my new coworker is a Holocaust denier. I have never seen such wilful ignorance up close and in my face. He is also an antivaxer and believes Ferguson is a "False flag".
Once his training is done, I won't have to work with him again.
I am gobsmacked by this.

Mood

dread_ex Nov 10, 2014 22:24

I feel...normal. No depression. No euphoria. Just normal. Its nice.

Mood

dread_ex Oct 07, 2014 02:30

This is kinda strange. I feel good. Upbeat. I haven't had the dark thoughts over the weekend. I don't know if I am still riding the high from.Sara and Justin's wedding and have good long talks with a couple of close friends but I will take it. I won't question it. I will just accept it and ride the wave.

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dread_ex Oct 02, 2014 03:01

I have had suicidal thoughts in the past but never as obsessive as they are now. I know it takes a couple of weeks for the medication increase to take full effect. But jeeze it's never been as obsessive as this.
I take the meds, see the therapist, follow what the professionals tell me what to do. It just isn't working. And instead of being afraid ( Read more... )

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dread_ex Sep 26, 2014 21:32

I am still here. Still not sure if it's a good thing. I had my meds upped, getting therapy and trying to connect with people. Still don't want to be.

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dread_ex Sep 18, 2014 19:47

To sleep...perchance to dream.
So damn seductive.

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dread_ex Sep 15, 2014 01:32

I am still very tired. I am still sleeping 12-15 hours/day. I am tired but it's easier to stay wrapped in blankets than deal with life.
I had a moment of clarity last week. I realized even if I did manage to make my suicide look like an accident, no one would believe it. So I feel trapped now. I am running.options over in my mind but no clear ( Read more... )

life

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dread_ex Sep 11, 2014 05:38

Still here. Nor entirely happy about that.

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dread_ex Sep 07, 2014 04:22

If life is just a ride then I can get off of it any time I choose