What I Wouldn't Give
Title: What I Wouldn't Give
Part One
Author: rahram
Pairing: Jensen/Jared
Word Count: 1,139
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I'm inclined to suggest that this isn't happening, never happened, and will never happen. For if it did heads would explode and baby caterpillars would never get their wings.
Warnings: Angst like whoa
Notes: As always, rating most likely to change further into the fic.
Beta: Read and beta'd by the wonderful lycaness. You guys have her to thank for the lack of a lot of mistakes. However I did write on more of it after she sent it back, so the mistakes are either mine, or if you want you can blame Kira, I always do.
Summary: After a fight, Jensen and Jared split. Jensen begins to realize that maybe Jared was right, and tries to fix the mistakes of the past. Will it be too late to save their relationship?
More of my fic can be found Here
|Part 1| | Part 2|
“If you fucking walk out that door, don’t you fucking come back!” Jared yells from across the room at a retreating Jensen. Jared watches as Jensen pauses, his hand holding the doorknob tightly, before he turns it, pulls the door open, and disappears, shutting it softly behind him. Jared picked up the closest thing to him, a picture of him and Jensen together, and throws it angrily at the door, watching as it splinters into pieces and rains broken glass onto the floor.
One week later, Jared sits between his friends, Chad and Mike, at the local coffee shop. He had just told them what went down, and was seeking advice on how to fix his torn a part heart.
“I can help,” Chad shrugs, taking a sip of coffee.
“Chad you suck at relationships,” Jared states, staring in disbelief at his friend. “You can’t even start a relationship.”
“You know,” Mike begins, finally putting his two cents in, “Chad might be the best person to give you advice. After all, think about it. Who better than someone who gets dumped or can’t pick someone up, to tell you how to get over Jensen?”
“Fine, I’ll try anything to be able to sleep again,” Jared sighs, turning to face Chad on the barstool.
“Think of something that he did that irritated you, and then obsess over it until all you think about is that one thing whenever you hear his name,” Chad logically tells Jared.
“That’s the problem,” Jared replies after thinking on it for a few minutes, “Even the things that would annoy the fuck out of someone else, I find adorable.”
“Then get laid,” Chad tells him shrugging once more.
“You suck at advice,” Jared whines, as he drops his head to the scarred countertop.
Mike frowns at his depressed friend and calls the waitress over to pay for their breakfast, well all but Chad’s; Mike isn’t going to pay for the douche’s breakfast. “Come on,” Mike tells Jared, as he helps him stand up, after paying the bill, “Time for all boys to go to work.”
Jared gets a phone call a couple hours after settling at his desk and editing the stories for the next week. After hanging up, he promptly goes to find his boss, Sophia Bush.
“Soap,” he says after walking in her office and sitting down in a plush, bright orange chair.
“How many times to do I have to tell you to stop calling me that?” she scolds with a fond smile, “Jensen was the one drunk that night and I have to suffer his words.”
Jared smiles sadly, remembering that night about two months ago. They were all out celebrating Jensen getting a huge contract to photograph the models for a local talent company. Jensen kept downing shots, giggling more with each added shot glass. At some point he started referring to Sophia as Soap, and since then, their group of friends has never let her live it down.
Jared snaps back from his memories, when Sophia walks in front of him and places her hand on his shoulder, “Is everything alright?” she asks, her voice and face showing concern.
“Fine,” Jared says, his voice breaking slightly. Clearing his throat he looks up at Sophia, “Can I do my work from home?” he asks, adding his puppy dog eyes in so she wouldn’t be able to refuse.
“Is there a reason?” Sophia asks arching her eyebrow, “This isn’t like the time you took a week just to spend it in bed with Jensen, is it?”
Jared feels tears rush to his eyes at the added memories of the good times Jensen and he shared. “No,” he shakes his head, refusing to let his tears fall, and hoping that if any slip away, Sophia will think it’s because of what he has to say next. “My sister was in a car accident, and mom and dad can’t stay with her for at least the next two weeks. So I was hoping to go and help her with things until they can make it to her place.”
“Oh god, yeah Jare, go ahead, I’ll just email everything to you,” she says softly, “Tell Megan I hope she gets better soon.”
Jared just nods, as he stands to leave.
“Jare,” she says, wrapping her hand around his arm, “Go ahead and head home, get things ready so you can leave and not forget anything, and maybe get some sleep,” she adds as an afterthought, “You look horrible.”
Nine days after their argument, Jensen steps away from his camera; frowning at the set up, “Sandy, can you do something with the background and props?” he asks rubbing his forehead, hoping to starve off the headache he feels beginning.
“Sure, boss,” Sandy quickly replies, “But didn’t you say you liked the happiness of it all?”
“Now I don’t,” he stubbornly retorts.
“Still haven’t talked to Jared?” she asks softly, sitting down in a chair, knowing that Jensen doesn’t really want the background changed.
“He told me not to come back,” Jensen sadly says staring down at the floor, looking completely defeated.
“Jensen,” she says smacking him softly, “Stop being a dumbass, just talk to him. Besides all your shit is there, hell it’s both of your apartment.”
“Yeah,” Jensen sighs giving in, “I’ll head over there tonight and talk with him.” Sandy just grins as Jensen calls the model in without asking to have the background changed again.
Jensen opens the apartment door at 7:15 that night. He walks in, wondering first why the lights are off, and second where Jared’s dog, Roxy, is. Making his way through the apartment, and feeling the dread well up inside of him, fearing he’ll find a dead Jared, and a dead Roxy lying on the floor, he finally makes it to the bedroom, and flips the light on.
No mess, no blood on the floor, no lifeless body waiting to be discovered, Jensen sighs in relief and makes his way back to the living room where he sits on the couch and waits for Jared to get home.
After an hour, he looks around the room, and notices all the snapshots of Jared and him, that he or someone else took, are either face down on the surface they were occupying or missing all together. Jensen feels the blow to his stomach, as if someone kicked him hard, making his stomach lurch and spin as if he was on the verge of vomiting. Maybe their relationship really is too fucked up to be fixed.
By midnight, Jensen dejectedly makes his way to the bed he had shared with Jared only a little over a week ago. He buries himself in Jared’s pillow and prays silently that the taller man is alright, and will be home in the morning.
Part One
Author: rahram
Pairing: Jensen/Jared
Word Count: 1,139
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I'm inclined to suggest that this isn't happening, never happened, and will never happen. For if it did heads would explode and baby caterpillars would never get their wings.
Warnings: Angst like whoa
Notes: As always, rating most likely to change further into the fic.
Beta: Read and beta'd by the wonderful lycaness. You guys have her to thank for the lack of a lot of mistakes. However I did write on more of it after she sent it back, so the mistakes are either mine, or if you want you can blame Kira, I always do.
Summary: After a fight, Jensen and Jared split. Jensen begins to realize that maybe Jared was right, and tries to fix the mistakes of the past. Will it be too late to save their relationship?
More of my fic can be found Here
|Part 1| | Part 2|
“If you fucking walk out that door, don’t you fucking come back!” Jared yells from across the room at a retreating Jensen. Jared watches as Jensen pauses, his hand holding the doorknob tightly, before he turns it, pulls the door open, and disappears, shutting it softly behind him. Jared picked up the closest thing to him, a picture of him and Jensen together, and throws it angrily at the door, watching as it splinters into pieces and rains broken glass onto the floor.
One week later, Jared sits between his friends, Chad and Mike, at the local coffee shop. He had just told them what went down, and was seeking advice on how to fix his torn a part heart.
“I can help,” Chad shrugs, taking a sip of coffee.
“Chad you suck at relationships,” Jared states, staring in disbelief at his friend. “You can’t even start a relationship.”
“You know,” Mike begins, finally putting his two cents in, “Chad might be the best person to give you advice. After all, think about it. Who better than someone who gets dumped or can’t pick someone up, to tell you how to get over Jensen?”
“Fine, I’ll try anything to be able to sleep again,” Jared sighs, turning to face Chad on the barstool.
“Think of something that he did that irritated you, and then obsess over it until all you think about is that one thing whenever you hear his name,” Chad logically tells Jared.
“That’s the problem,” Jared replies after thinking on it for a few minutes, “Even the things that would annoy the fuck out of someone else, I find adorable.”
“Then get laid,” Chad tells him shrugging once more.
“You suck at advice,” Jared whines, as he drops his head to the scarred countertop.
Mike frowns at his depressed friend and calls the waitress over to pay for their breakfast, well all but Chad’s; Mike isn’t going to pay for the douche’s breakfast. “Come on,” Mike tells Jared, as he helps him stand up, after paying the bill, “Time for all boys to go to work.”
Jared gets a phone call a couple hours after settling at his desk and editing the stories for the next week. After hanging up, he promptly goes to find his boss, Sophia Bush.
“Soap,” he says after walking in her office and sitting down in a plush, bright orange chair.
“How many times to do I have to tell you to stop calling me that?” she scolds with a fond smile, “Jensen was the one drunk that night and I have to suffer his words.”
Jared smiles sadly, remembering that night about two months ago. They were all out celebrating Jensen getting a huge contract to photograph the models for a local talent company. Jensen kept downing shots, giggling more with each added shot glass. At some point he started referring to Sophia as Soap, and since then, their group of friends has never let her live it down.
Jared snaps back from his memories, when Sophia walks in front of him and places her hand on his shoulder, “Is everything alright?” she asks, her voice and face showing concern.
“Fine,” Jared says, his voice breaking slightly. Clearing his throat he looks up at Sophia, “Can I do my work from home?” he asks, adding his puppy dog eyes in so she wouldn’t be able to refuse.
“Is there a reason?” Sophia asks arching her eyebrow, “This isn’t like the time you took a week just to spend it in bed with Jensen, is it?”
Jared feels tears rush to his eyes at the added memories of the good times Jensen and he shared. “No,” he shakes his head, refusing to let his tears fall, and hoping that if any slip away, Sophia will think it’s because of what he has to say next. “My sister was in a car accident, and mom and dad can’t stay with her for at least the next two weeks. So I was hoping to go and help her with things until they can make it to her place.”
“Oh god, yeah Jare, go ahead, I’ll just email everything to you,” she says softly, “Tell Megan I hope she gets better soon.”
Jared just nods, as he stands to leave.
“Jare,” she says, wrapping her hand around his arm, “Go ahead and head home, get things ready so you can leave and not forget anything, and maybe get some sleep,” she adds as an afterthought, “You look horrible.”
Nine days after their argument, Jensen steps away from his camera; frowning at the set up, “Sandy, can you do something with the background and props?” he asks rubbing his forehead, hoping to starve off the headache he feels beginning.
“Sure, boss,” Sandy quickly replies, “But didn’t you say you liked the happiness of it all?”
“Now I don’t,” he stubbornly retorts.
“Still haven’t talked to Jared?” she asks softly, sitting down in a chair, knowing that Jensen doesn’t really want the background changed.
“He told me not to come back,” Jensen sadly says staring down at the floor, looking completely defeated.
“Jensen,” she says smacking him softly, “Stop being a dumbass, just talk to him. Besides all your shit is there, hell it’s both of your apartment.”
“Yeah,” Jensen sighs giving in, “I’ll head over there tonight and talk with him.” Sandy just grins as Jensen calls the model in without asking to have the background changed again.
Jensen opens the apartment door at 7:15 that night. He walks in, wondering first why the lights are off, and second where Jared’s dog, Roxy, is. Making his way through the apartment, and feeling the dread well up inside of him, fearing he’ll find a dead Jared, and a dead Roxy lying on the floor, he finally makes it to the bedroom, and flips the light on.
No mess, no blood on the floor, no lifeless body waiting to be discovered, Jensen sighs in relief and makes his way back to the living room where he sits on the couch and waits for Jared to get home.
After an hour, he looks around the room, and notices all the snapshots of Jared and him, that he or someone else took, are either face down on the surface they were occupying or missing all together. Jensen feels the blow to his stomach, as if someone kicked him hard, making his stomach lurch and spin as if he was on the verge of vomiting. Maybe their relationship really is too fucked up to be fixed.
By midnight, Jensen dejectedly makes his way to the bed he had shared with Jared only a little over a week ago. He buries himself in Jared’s pillow and prays silently that the taller man is alright, and will be home in the morning.