Challenge #09 - Luck of the Irish

[dreximgirl]

Title: Cyber Comfort
Word Count: 167
Rating: General
Original/Fandom: Original
Pairings (if any): N/A
Warnings (Non-Con/Dub-Con/etc): None
Summary: Words I got were Computer, loneliness and turn.

Comments

[meridian_rose]

I really liked it and could identify with the need to be accepted. I have family but few friends in the real world now, and the internet does help me feel connected to the wider world.

I love the idea of Lucy sitting in night wear or singing along loudly to music; you painted a great picture of her online interactions :D

Concrit wise as per the writerverse rules, I'd consider splitting up the one long paragraph into two or three shorter ones. However I didn't find it to be a 'wall of text' either, not actually off-putting to read it as it is.

[dreximgirl]

Thank you so much!

Ah that's a good idea, because it's so short I never even thought of that. Thank you x

[magickmoons]

This is a great little piece. You paint such a complete portrait of Lucy in so few words. I also find it very relateable (is that a word?) in its description of the dual openness and anonymity that the internet provides us.

The only suggestion I have is for the line: " In the real world she had few friends and none that she would call close and her family were long gone." The ...and...and... is a little cumbersome to read. You could have done something like: "In the real world she had few friends, none that she would call close, and her family were long gone." But I think that's more of a stylistic choice!

Thanks for posting :)