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calm down
i told myself, except i said it out loud and i worried people might think i'm crazy. but there were no other people, just a bowl of overcooked pasta mixed with vegetables and a jar of strawberry preserve. too much going on at the same time, something about the aswang, chinese new year, foodjects, and i don't know what else. relearning the parts of ( Read more... ) -
old books
they smell lovely but some of them have tiny holes, cover to cover. the real bookworms were here. spent the day cleaning. been holding on to these things for years and still, the pain of putting a book in the give away pile. everything covered with a thick coat of dust. found willow, and bread and jam for frances. for a moment, felt like i was six ( Read more... ) -
sneaky
this time business that you think you have a lot of and then suddenly it's all gone. i want more, always more, but only to sleep, because that's where it's all happening. not in this sunlight. -
in the bedroom
during the war that is math homework. if you hated homework, don't have kids. seriously. it gets to a point where i wish i weren't so full of Catholic guilt so i wouldn't feel bad about just doing the homework myself. anything to get to that point of the night where we're both just snuggled up under the blanket, reading Big Nate (Shibby) and Miss ( Read more... ) -
Sleep
I honestly don't know how I used to survive on around four hours of it every night. Now I get twice that and I'm still always sleepy. Or maybe everything is just so... soporific. There's a really neat couch at the office but it's right in the middle of everything. I wish I were invisible so I could sneak a nap. But then, I don't know how to nap. ( Read more... ) -
breathing
apparently it's not as simple as it sounds. i'm off to learn how. this is probably perfect for me, because i can't seem to do it with my mouth closed. i blame it on my bunny teeth ( Read more... ) -
last night
the world was ending. doors were left unlocked and cars were parked in the middle of the road. people were running around. i was walking down a corridor and then i turned and you were there. we stood facing each other and there were no words, but everything else was a noisy blur. stuck in slow motion, the space between us crackling until you pulled ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
because the thread ran out before anyone could knot it, everything is unraveling slowly. the fabric snags at every memory. i try to hold the story together but here are the words: it is all falling apart. -
somewhere else
lately it's been so difficult to stay here, it's a struggle to get from eight to nine to ten to eleven, and it goes on until five. i pretend to do this when i want to do that, and that is anything else, anything not this. -
(Untitled)
This place doesn't change, even if it gets deserted sometimes. It's like finding an old bag and rummaging through tickets to shows you barely remember, receipts for things you've either lost or given away. The smell is dust and empty packs of clove cigarettes, the color is like the water in the sink after you rinse your paintbrushes out. The ( Read more... )