Dear Me from 17 years ago,

Everything works out just fine. You move out West with Lindsay, work in the mountains for a year, settle down in Calgary, get a sweet job at a microbrewery, eventually get married, get back in IT work, buy a house, have an incredible kid, grow your career, have another incredible kid, buy a bigger house, and (so far) live ( Read more... )

Linds and I went out to dinner tonight with a group of friends. The meal, and her company, were delicious. Afterwars, we lied on her bed and talked about a great many things. Then we didn't talk, and that was very nice. It's been years since I've enjoyed a silence like that ( Read more... )

Today, I connected with my soul. With myself. With all the things I am and all the things I want. I connected, and found the truth, and I can never go back (not that I'd ever want to). It's not going to be easy from here on in, I know that, but at least I no longer journey alone ( Read more... )

Well, after writing that message, I went out for coffee with Linds before work. I ended up telling her about last night, not with details, but just that it was a terrible night, and kind of what I was feeling. She was so concerned for me, and it was completely genuine, at it made me feel so much better I can't even begin to write it in a way that ( Read more... )

I had a complete break-down last night ( Read more... )

Lindsay wrote the following ( Read more... )

This is why your family is so fucking important. Cause they're never going to fuck you up like your friends and lovers. I'm too fucking weak, got to toughen up. Can't keep putting myself fucking out there, being a nice guy. Fuck everyone. I'm so goddamn tired of feeling like roadkill. I just want someone to need me. I want to feel like I ( Read more... )

Where to begin ( Read more... )

I'm on my second dark roast venti black from Starbucks. A bit wired ( Read more... )

... Both.

It's definitely both.

Fuck.