(Untitled)

[drinkwellwords]

Title: Neon
Pairing: Tim Kasher/Conor Oberst
Rating: PG-13
Prompt: fishnet
Summary: You dream that you find Conor on a slick street corner...
Word Count: 1026
Disclaimer
Notes: The next bit in the still unnamed series. I'm not even going to pretend they're loosely bound.

Comments

Snicker. That's SO WR!Conor

[_poetic_harlot_]

Theeere is just something about what Jenny says, the way she says it, that is pretty damn haunting. Smiling while telling someone that they had ruined a person. That's sticking with meee, that's for sure.

But there's a whole lot more to comment about!

Tim really struck me as appropriately nuts in this part. Like his brand of crazy either grew into the role of fitting with Conor's or just appeared that way. It's kind of really fantastic. The dream was so damn sad. You depicted the everything so flawlessly, from the vulnerability and weakness in Conor to the two different aspects of Tim. Like that damn bed was his past feelings personified. Or something. -ded-

Sigh. I don't even know what to say, missy. You are flawless and wonderful and I heart you. BUT DON'T PEER PRESSURE MEEE D':

GASPNO. He knows what the white stuff's called.

[fedradiowires]

I am so glad you liked that. I think that line was really one of the things in the piece that I was hesitant about. I wasn't sure it would come across right. But you liked it, and I was scared it would be very love/hate.

The dream was the other thing I was worried about. I get ideas in my head like movie scenes, and I wasn't sure the film strip I pictured for this would translate all that well.

I heart you too. But I am very flawed, and considerably less wonderful than you.

I DUN BELIEVE J00!!

[_poetic_harlot_]

You're supposed to be hesitant, goof XD When you stop being hesitant, you stop being a fantastic writer, I think. Because you're critical of yourself, the end result is more likely to be better than if you were content with your abilities.

And all that. Ramble ramble.

Your zany brain filmstrips came out wonderfully, I think. This whole thing fits beautifully with the other pieces, but at the same time it feels new. Because there's actual, genuine hope this tiiime. XD

Shush, you. You are fabulousity personified to Kelly. So there.

I can't say anything that won't be mad pervy.

[fedradiowires]

You are the most amazing rambler I know. I write all my fics through ramble. It's like, "OH HAI SENTENCE" and then. Fic!

There's hope, sort of. I don't know how the rest of the filmstrips are piecing together. We'll see at the end, I suppose.

*does not shush*

[ovidien]

nngh. it's just so beautiful. seriously, i don't know how you can complain about how you're not that good a writer, because there are such amazingly perfect little details in it that make it perfect. Tiny little details, like the way Jenny smiles and the way Tim is dressed after sex and the detail about the marks on Conor's body. It's wonderful.

It's brilliance is so subtle that it sneaks up on you and knocks you breathless by the end.

[fedradiowires]

I'm so glad you love this. I know I'm not a bad writer, but I'm nowhere near as good as some other people (*coughyouandKellycough*). I'm so happy you like the little details.

And, um. I hope you can breathe. I'd be sad if you couldn't.

[tricky_slip]

this was heartbreaking and truly stunning.

"I dreamt about ruining him," you say to her.

She laughs. "Oh, honey," she says as she smiles the fondest smile she has, the one she saves for you and for him, "you already have. But you're fixing him. Aren't you?"

that right there is one of the best lines in any story i have ever read. it's beautiful and haunting and so true it stings.
amazing.

and i also really love how each of these stories is kind of a fragment. they are all so different in content but they are tied together by common emotions and a running storyline that's just barely at the surface.
you are amazing.
♥

[fedradiowires]

I'm really, really glad you like this. It means a lot when someone likes my bits and pieces of things to comment, and this is twice in a row that you've made a really, really memorable comment. To say that that bit is one of the best lines you've ever read is WAY more praise than I deserve. Thank you.

I can't write overtly chronological epic stories. I deal with my own time and memories in fragments, chopped up and tied together loosely. I suppose it translates into my writing.

Thank you.
♥

[mandlebars]

And you notice the bruises for the first time, or maybe they just appear, this is a dream, after all, and god only knows what you put into your subconscious. They're on his wrists, his cheek, his lip is split - and that split lip, you know that was you, you've hurt him... and you sort of love him like this.

There is something so wrong with that sentiment, but so beautiful at the same time, it's like a lollipop in your favourite flavour but you find out too late it has bits of glass embedded in it-like you only realise it as your throat's being cut up and you like it; that kind of emotional experience. It just blew me away, just wow it's1 am and I have a exam tomorrow morning, so if doesn't make sense sorry.

[fedradiowires]

Thank you very, very much. I love your analogy.

Good luck on your exam.

[mandlebars]

Ah it's things like this, that make me wish I'd continue doing Literature, god knows it'd be less stressful than what I'm doing. University ftl sometimes

[fedradiowires]

What are you doing? I didn't finish high school. I can't be bothered with classes, terrible as that is.

[__didntthinkso]

Not that I'm talking to you right this minute, or anything, but this really does deserve big gorgeous reviews.

My favorite thing about your writing style is probably the little details you insert. Especially when it comes to Conor. Terrible things happen to him, but you write him in detail I can only describe as "loving." His wrists being sparrow-like and all the pain you describe in the eyes.

His toes are pointing inwards, and he keeps breaking eye contact because he's so nervous, voice full of tremors. "Can't I just go home?"
This kind of murdered me. It's a dream so you can take very extreme emotional routes here and still come off authentic, which you did very successfully. The imagery alone is just terribly sad, but your writing has an intense beauty in it that makes it bearable and real.

I said it before, but the bits with Sierra. Just so nice. Tim's humanity becomes so much more tangible there. It was a very good choice, putting them in there.

You pull him a little bit closer, and you kiss his hair. "You'll get back to

[fedradiowires]

Thank you. Thank you so much.

The dream thing was a conscious choice, for some of it. Dreams are, as a rule, overemotional and very intense - for me, anyway - so using a dream in this made sense to me.

Okay, I won't lie. Partly I just like the idea of Conor as a whore. But onwards.

I'm really, really glad Tim came across right. I see him sort of as fatherly, protective, just misguided and somewhat self-involved.

Thank you. ♥