December Entry for Brigit's Flame Community

[drippedonpaper]

Our given prompt was: Unity

Comments

[insolentscrawl]

This is a powerful and moving story. I would suggest not switching between "you" and "he", but other than that, I really felt the emotion of the story.

Good luck this week.

[drippedonpaper]

Thanks so much for catching that, I went ahead and corrected it since techinically, it isn't due until Saturday. I'm pretty sure I can do that.

I really appreciate your comment, I'm glad it sounds like the story came out the way I hoped it would.

Thanks again!

[attentionhoard]

*Applauds*

Nice work! I enjoyed this a lot. You walk a fine line with the ambiguity of the piece by not overloading us with too much detail while still giving us enough to keep the intrigue.

My suggestion, (and this isn't about the piece in any way but instead the format) I'd be very curious to see you revisit the piece as a poem, utilizing play with line-breaks. I think it could be fascinating.

Nice, nice work!

[intermezzo_poet]

That last line... beautiful.

A very powerful piece!

[maniccartoonist]

Wow, very deep, very self-stirring. I liked it a lot.